A Fools Guide To Not Wanting To Die Anymore

Looks like I maxed out lol

I'm still gonna keep boopin tho

I won’t wish for anything myself but this is just too good to pass by 💫

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

All 10 Sirocco Sister's wing patterns!

new roomates navi.

summary: waking up to an apartment full of Genshin Impact men was not something you expected, but the antics and events that ensued almost made going bankrupt trying to feed them worth it...

characters: zhongli, venti, kaeya, diluc, albedo, klee (PLATONIC), ayato, kazuha, thoma, childe, xiao, itto, aether, gorou

❥ Chapter One

after your father helps fund your rent, you suddenly find that your fresh, unfurnished apartment is bustling with the very tevyat men you adored <3

❥ Chapter Two

as Albedo and Aether tell you how they found their way into your apartment, you slowly begin to believe him and Aether, next step? meeting the 11 other characters who were dragged in with them and figuring out how you’re going to live with (and hide) all these men and klee

❥ Chapter Three

you head out shopping with the first of three groups, and antics ensue as they learn to navigate a new world with new rules

❥ Chapter Four

with clothing shopping completed, you drop the “clothing crew” back off at your apartment to find the others have certainly made themselves at home… time to go grocery shopping!

❥ Chapter Five

as you finish shopping for sustenance, you return to a home full of chaos before settling down for the night, and then finding out a certain someone is having sleep issues

❥ Chapter Six // Several Routes

a special someone cant sleep, and so you two spend some time together away from the others <3

❥ Chapter Seven

early mornings with the tevyat men (and klee) can get quite interesting, an online order arrives and you try to teach them about technology

❥ Chapter Eight

you panic as your apartment has become a little bit more crowded, you unintentionally take everyone to a nearby park, and the tevyat men discover your birthday is upcoming…

❥ Chapter Nine

your guest comes and goes, bringing advice and warnings along with them, and at the end of the day you prepare dinner

The fact that I was JUST reading some Rook fanfics... how did you know

But that aside, I love this! Thank you so much!

Hello! It's been awhile since I've gotten a matchup done from anyone, and I really like your writing, so I'd thought I'd ask for one!

Congratulations on 500 followers by the way!!

If I were to describe myself and my personality, I think it would overall be "quiet." I very much keep to myself and don't make much of an attempt at talking to other people, but that would be because I have lingering social anxiety from my childhood. I am actually very fond of talking to new people and making conversation, but I much prefer to do that alongside someone I know. I enjoy my space and my time to myself, but I also value anyone I call "my people" (whether it be friends or family) an incredible amount and love to spend time with them.

Another thing about me is the way I love. I, for a lack of a better term, do not love gently. Once I love someone (in any way) I will never, ever, stop. No matter what. This has hurt me before, and because of this, I guard my heart very closely, and it will likely take very clear intentions from someone to convince me to let them in.

As for my interests and hobbies, I can't say that I'm all that exciting, but I do love what I do anyway. I work in a greenhouse, and was raised by a mother who loves to forage plants and mushrooms to make medical and herbal tinctures out of them! (Or just to eat lol) My hobbies include reading, drawing, and a liiiiittle bit of writing (...of any kind, really. Small poems, mini songs, ficlets... the works). Recently I've gotten into sewing as well, and I'm really enjoying it!

My lifestyle is, like me, very quiet. I live in a very small village (yes an actual village) several miles away from any real towns, so not a lot goes on around where I am. Many would consider it rather boring, and I'm probably due for some change someday (I anticipate it, really), but I'm very content with what I have right now.

And last but not least, I'm female, around 5'8"-5'9" (173 to 175 cm), have several moles dotting around here and there, and... I suppose I like to dress rather nicely? It's something I've been doing lately and I'm enjoying it quite a bit haha. If I were to describe my current style it would probably be "elegant and comfortable." Nicknames are basically second nature to me, so I often call people "dear, darling, honey, love," etc. If they're special to me, I'll tag on "my" at the beginning; "my dear, my darling, my love..." You get the idea! A last tidbit is that my love language is primarily physical touch. It's practically the life blood of the way I show affection lol.

Thank you for letting me ramble! I kind of also took this as a chance to figure out how to describe myself again lol. Take your time answering this, since I know I kind of packed a lot in here. As for what kind of matchup I want, romantic would be wonderful, and anyone in your default list will be just fine! (I love the staff, but like, platonically, you know?)

I match you with 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐭

The First Impression:

Intentions don't come any clearer than from Rook. Oh, how your beauty makes him weep! Your appreciation of nature! Your love for his favorite arts!

How does he already know all that? ...Better not to question it.

Why He Fell:

Rook has an eye for beauty, which includes both outer and inner. Your elegant sense of style, combined with your natural kindness, you're the best parts of everything he loves all in one!

Perhaps it's your love of writing, or your knowledge around nature, or your shared affinity for terms of endearment, but Rook is simply drawn to you as if you're a part of him. It's a lovely, natural feeling to him, and once he's sure, he's more than clear about his intentions.

The Relationship:

Rook is truly just happy to be with you. He'll accompany you on a foraging trip through the woods, he'll indulge you in as much physical affection as you would enjoy, or he'll give you your much needed alone time when required (he understands that feeling perfectly, after all).

There is a shared sense of devotion between the two of you, one in which you know that he would never cause you any intentional harm. Rook is simply enamored with you, from your quiet disposition to the intense ways in which you feel and express love.

No changes.

WARNING!!!!

People, please be careful. There are also people tracking children and people and putting bids on them based on their profile pictures on whatsapp, tracking and kidnapping them. Especially young children, so please be cautious, especially parents who have their children as their profile pictures.

Please pass this on to everyone so that they are aware of the danger. I don’t how it is all around the world but I know it can’t just be here so please please spread the word. Thank you.

MC: If we die, I’m going to spend the rest of our afterlife reminding you that this was all your fault.

Ace: That’s cool, I wouldn't mind having company as a ghost.

In the end it wasn’t too surprising that no one ever suspected what you were. You’d been playing human for a long time after all, and had long since mastered the skills needed to hide your true nature. 

It was for this very reason that you were in the predicament you were in now, as the group who had “captured” you, had wrongfully assumed that you were the weakest and most vulnerable. 

Perhaps if the situation had been different, you would have found this somewhat entertaining, but given the fact that they were trying to use you to bait your companions into willingly walking into a trap, you were feeling far from forgiving. You’d come to care for them after all, and the protectiveness you had developed over them was only to be expected from something such as yourself.

Luckily, tricking your “captors” into approaching your bound form, was all too easy thanks to their ignorance of your nature, and once they were within reach….well….

Sinking your teeth into someones vulnerable throat had never felt quite so satisfying~

There was so much angst with them… so I wanted something soft.

Hi,

Considering the fact that there are a number of people who's names are Ren irl and on Tumblr, I'm gonna attempt to make things easier on you if you want to remember my name.

You can call me Sloth.

This is the first time I'm posting a fanfic on here, and it's currently 1:06 AM as I'm writing this, but if I didn't write this now I never would, so here it is.

(I'm posting this after I wake up tomorrow hah.)

There are no warnings that I could think of writing down other than the fact that this contains major fluff and a Soft Eel TM, which I hope you enjoy reading about.

I apologize for any grammar mistakes and my mediocre writing.

Enjoy ♡

— Sloth

-----

Floyd x reader / Mc

Your Heartbeat.

"Floyd?" You asked.

"Go away Shrimpy." Floyd's arms squeezed tighter around his legs as if trying to make himself as small as possible. Which was pretty hard considering that he's practically a giant.

Jade and Azul had called you over not long ago, saying that Floyd had fallen into a particularly foul mood and wouldn't move from his spot on the floor. You weren't sure why Floyd was in such a bad mood, and you're pretty sure that Azul and his brother didn't know either. They said that they had tried pretty much everything to cheer him up again, but nothing seemed to be working. And as a final resort, they called you.

So here you were, sitting in front of a fussy eel that tried to bite anyone who got too close. You weren't entirely sure what to do, you had gotten him out of a few bad moods before, but none of them resulted in him being so... sad. It just wasn't like him, so you made it your intention to fix that.

"Sorry Floyd, but I'm not leaving until I can get you to smile again." You said matter-of-factly. You took a seat next to him with maybe a meter of distance between the two of you. Floyd's only response was to shuffle away from you as much as he could in his position, which wasn't by much.

"No! I'm not smiling ever again, I don't wanna!" You couldn't help but sigh at his words, your head shaking side to side in exasperation. You wanted to ask why he was in such a bad mood, but you knew better than to make him think about it any more than he already was. That would only make things worse. Not to mention the fact that he probably wouldn't even say anything.

You pressed your lips into a thin line, trying to think of a way to get him out of this. Offering to go prank someone (namely Riddle) was already tried, so that was out of the question. Jade offered to go squeeze someone, or some people, that didn't work. Hell, Azul even said he'd let Floyd off of work for a while! That didn't work either, Floyd just continued to sit there, practically swatting at anything he deemed to close.

...To close?

You suddenly realized that, while yes there was some distance between you, you were in fact sitting next to him—within arms reach!—and he wasn't pushing you away.

An idea popped into your head. Maybe it wasn't the best idea but it was all you could think of at that moment, so it was at least worth a try. You shifted to where you were sitting with your legs folded underneath you, facing him with your hands resting in your lap.

Really, it wasn't the greatest of ideas. You'd more than likely think of something much better if you really wanted to, but this felt worth it somehow, so you're going with it.

"Floyd, can I hug you?" You asked softly, almost afraid to break the silence.

He didn't move at first, showing no sign of even hearing you. But after a few seconds, he tilted his head to look at you, moving it just enough to see you with an eye peeking over his arms. From that little movement, you could see that his eyebrows were tilted upwards, furrowed with an expression of anger and frustration.

"...Why?" He asked.

You were tempted to answer honestly, wanting to say that it was the only thing you could think of doing at the time, but decided against it. "Because, you always like squeezes, don't you?" That was almost what you wanted to say, but this should receive a better reaction... hopefully.

He didn't move, only continued to stare into your eyes with an emotion you couldn't quite decipher. Taking that as a good sign, despite it seeming bleak, you moved closer by a small amount. Thankfully, he didn't move away.

"Can you move your arms? It's kinda hard to hug you when you're sitting like that." Once again, he didn't move at first but eventually lifted his head to rest his chin on his arms. He continued to look at you, his eyebrows were no longer furrowed, curiosity shining vaguely in his eyes.

'Not quite what I wanted, but it will do.' You thought, smiling at the fact that he was at least doing something.

With no second thoughts, you lifted yourself onto your knees and wrapped your arms around his head. You felt him stiffen, clearly not expecting you to move that much closer. Gently, you pressed his ear onto your chest, right over where your heart was, allowing him to hear the sound of it beating. It only took a few seconds, but within that time he slowly relaxed his muscles and moved his arms to loosely hang around your waist. You rested your cheek on his head, nuzzling into his surprisingly soft hair.

This wasn't like a normal hug, or 'squeeze', from Floyd, this was a hug from you. A hug where you held him gently with no other intent than to simply hold him. Not to squeeze and play, not to give a threat to someone, simply a way to hold and comfort.

Nearly five minutes had passed, at some point within that time you sat back down, Floyd still leaning into your chest. You hadn't let go, and neither did he. No more words were spoken after that, and as more time passed the two of you settled into a more comfortable position on the floor with Floyd continuing to lay on your chest. His arms stayed looped around your waist, silently telling you that you weren't going anywhere. Not that you minded.

Thirty minutes passed since you were left alone there with Floyd, and Jade and Azul had finally come back, only to find you running your fingers through a sleeping Floyd's hair.

"Wha–" Azul wanted to say something, but you lifted a hand to your mouth and placed a finger over your lips, signifying for him and Jade to stay quiet.

Jade let out an airy chuckle before speaking quietly. "My my, perfect, you never cease to do the most unexpected things." It almost sounded fake, but something in you told you that the praise was real.

And Jade didn't show it, but he was actually quite impressed—amazed even—that you got Floyd to fall asleep in your arms. The two of them rarely let their guard down, but judging by the content look on his brother's sleeping face, he dared to say that Floyd felt safe in the Perfect's arms.

Truly, what an unexpected person you are, Perfect.

-----

What did I just write? I have no clue, I was going for full-on fluff here, but it's past midnight and I'm tired. I am not a hundred percent sure if this is even legible, but I felt that I needed to write this, so I did.

For those who are wondering what Floyd got upset over, I'm not entirely sure but I imagined that it was something about You/Yuu/Shrimpy going back to their/your world, and Floyd not wanting them/you to go.

Once again, I apologize for any grammar mistakes and my mediocre writing. Oh and any apparent Ooc'ness.

Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed this thousand-word fanfic dedicated to one Soft Eel. (Hopefully, I'll write a Soft Eel story for Jade soon, but that depends on my writing motivation.)

Anyway, goodnight.

hey so uhhhhh just a heads up: ao3 may or may not be in deep legal trouble. specifically for mistreatment of volunteers and lax compliance with certain laws, afaict.

i highly recommend you back up any stories you have and any favorite stories/authors you'd miss.

here's how i'm doing it:

download calibre. it's an open source ebook reader. link here.

it has a plugin called fanficfare. download that here.

open calibre and go to the dropdown next to "Settings", and then select "Get plugins to enhance calibre"

Find and install FanFicFare (sort by title and scroll down to F to find it easier)

go to the dropdown menu next to the fanficfare icon in the top bar and select "Get story URLs from Web Page"

when prompted for a URL, you can post any URL that displays a list of stories, e.g. "https://archiveofourown.org/users/[username]/bookmarks?page=7" or "https://archiveofourown.org/series/[number]" or "https://archiveofourown.org/users/[username]/pseuds/[username]/works"

click "Yes", then wait for it to gather the metadata and download the stories (you can give it another URL to grab stories from once it's done with gathering the metadata if you want)

it will give you a little popup in the lower right corner once it's done, telling you how many it was able to download (usually all of them) and how many it didn't.

if it misses one or two, you can click to see the details and find out which one didn't get downloaded, and go back to the page you got it from and download those yourself if you want.

tell it to update your library.

voila! all the stories on that page are now backed up on your computer.

notes: it will skip any fics that are locked to archive users only (the ones with a blue padlock next to the author's name in the listing), and you'll have to go back and grab those yourself. if your whole account is under archive lock, i highly recommend unlocking it for the duration of the time it takes to grab and download them (a few minutes to a few hours, depending on whether you have <20 or multiple hundreds like i do lol) before locking them again.

back up everything you love!! back up everything you moderately like!! back up anything you wouldn't like to lose!! even if the ao3 mess pans out to nothing, it's always good to have a "just in case".