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i love you by billie eilish

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boyfriends bsf! satoru x reader

finallyyyy posting a concept that has been on my brain for months. lord.

cw’s!!: gn! reader, angst (>:3), ur dating suguru so he is the bf in question, andddd this takes place in the canon universe so. do w that what u will :p

wc: 1.3k (whoopssss got carried away ><)

boyfriends bsf! satoru who was in love with you from the moment the two of you met. you were a transfer student, quiet and a little stoic but not rude by any means. if anything, he teased you for being too formal.

boyfriends bsf! satoru who invited you to every group outing, slowly but surely trying to urge you out of your shell. he introduced you to suguru and shoko and you were set from there!

boyfriends bsf! satoru whose face goes beet red the first time he hears you laugh. not a small giggle or an amused scoff — a full, loud laugh at something suguru had said. he didn’t notice how nervous you had seemed while talking to his best friend, he didn’t mind how you only laughed at sugurus jokes like that… he was just happy to be there to witness it for himself.

boyfriends bsf! satoru whose heart drops when you tell him about your crush on suguru. he knew suguru felt the same, he had told satoru not too long after he introduced you to him.

“i’d say to go for it.” satoru finally declares, causing you to raise a suspicious brow. what was his deal? you expected him to have a bigger reaction over this…

he only shrugs at your suspicious look. “just sayin’. what’s the worst that could happen?” he puts on a cocky smile that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “what, you scared of lil’ sugu?” he leans closer, poking at your side to tease you. he only laughs when you click your tongue and push him away.

boyfriends bsf! satoru who isn’t surprised whatsoever when you and suguru get together a couple weeks later. he starts taking more missions for a while after that.

boyfriends bsf! satoru who’s surprisingly supportive after his “emo funk” (name courtesy of shoko). he even recommends spots for dates (they were all coincidentally catered to your tastes. spots that he had planned to take you… at least they were being put to good use now instead of rotting in his brain).

boyfriends bsf! satoru who bites hard into his tongue or cheek whenever he sees the two of you particularly close during a few of their hangouts. sugurus whispering something in your ear with that lovesick little smile on his face and you’re giggling while watching him with heat in your cheeks and hearts in your eyes.

boyfriends bsf! satoru who has to excuse himself to the bathroom when you and suguru show up late to a hangout with huge smiles and disheveled hair. it was the faint purple mark on the soft skin of your neck that did him in, making bile rise in his throat.

but of course, things change, don’t they? all good things must come to an end.

what goes up must come down.

satoru was the one tasked with telling you about suguru’s defection (“you’re their best friend, satoru. they won’t believe anyone else.” yaga had told him, giving a sympathetic squeeze to the teens shoulder. as if that would fix anything. as if that would fix the way you had gone completely numb at the news when he told you later that day. he had never seen you so lifeless before).

he blocked that out of his memory to the best of his ability.

(ex?) boyfriends bsf! satoru who visits your dorm as much as he can after that. he has to take more missions due to there now being one less special grade sorcerer, but he makes sure to remind shoko to check on you when he’s gone for long periods of time. it’s what suguru would’ve wanted.

(ex?) boyfriends bsf! satoru who doesn’t even sleep in his own dorm anymore. what was the point when you were calling him over every other night because of your nightmares?

(ex?) boyfriends bsf! satoru who’s so gentle while handling you. he helps you wash your hair and brush your teeth and he hand feeds you every meal (to make sure you actually eat the food he brings you) despite your protests that you were fine.

(ex?) boyfriends bsf! satoru who doesn’t say anything when you cuddle up next to him every night the both of you lay down next to each other, he just languidly wraps an arm around your middle and traces patterns over your shirt.

“i miss him.” your words are nothing more than a whisper into satorus clothed chest, but he hears you loud and clear.

his movements halt for a moment and he shifts to pull you closer to his chest. “i know. so do i.” you don’t say anything about the shakiness in his voice.

(ex?) boyfriends bsf! satoru who sees you cry for the first time that night.

(ex?) boyfriends bsf! satoru who gently guides you to look at him so he can wipe away your tears while whispering small comforts until your breathing slows.

your head is back to resting against satorus chest, the only remnants of your previous sobbing being small, hiccuped breaths that were too stubborn to go away.

“what if…” his voice breaks the silence, snapping you out of the faraway expression you were sporting. he searches for what to say. it was strange to see him look so unsure.

“what if he comes back?”

he’s not asking to be cruel, you know he isn’t. you know what he’s really asking though. you don’t have an answer to his unspoken question.

“hey.” he calls out softly when you don’t speak. his volume is the same as before but he sounds more urgent now, like he’s ready to beg for something for the first time in his life.

he takes your face in his palms again, his eyes searching your damp face for anything but the numb expression that had lingered since suguru left.

“you can’t leave.” god, he’s trying so hard to sound firm but his voice cracks when he calls your name. “you can’t follow him, i won’t-… i can’t-“ his eyes narrow like he’s going to snap at you, but the sharp words die on his tongue when his eyes start watering out of frustration.

“i’d have to kill you- both of you-“ he’s desperately trying to reason with you, his palms pressing into your cheeks. “you can’t expect me to do that.” he’s shaking his head now, denying an unspoken (inevitable) fate.

you try to call his name, to reassure him that you weren’t planning on leaving (were you lying to yourself or to him?) but he’s shut you out. he’s still holding you but his teary eyes are unfocused.

and you don’t know whether it’s the heat of the moment or desperation to get him to listen, but your lips are brushing against his before you can even process your own movements.

the touch is featherlight but it’s enough to quiet his racing mind. he sees the conflict in your eyes, the shock at your own actions. he can tell that it wasn’t meant for him, that for a brief moment you saw him instead of satoru. you don’t say anything, though. no frantic apologies, no embarrassed scrambling to pull away from him. you just… stare at him. the same way he’s staring at you.

the kiss wasn’t meant for him, but… can’t he act like it was? what difference would it make if suguru wasn't there to receive your love anyway?

(ex?) boyfriends bsf! satoru who presses his lips against yours in a proper kiss before you can pull away from him. suguru left him to pick up the pieces after his departure and that’s exactly what he was doing. if grief is just love with nowhere to go, satoru would gladly give you somewhere to put that love. it’s what suguru would’ve wanted.

More Posts from M1stm3 and Others

m1stm3

6 months ago

me w tomura shigaraki UGGGH

me when

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*catches breath*

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m1stm3

1 month ago

suguru x gn!reader

my dearest beloved,

dig my heart out of my chest with your nails and feel the beating of it speed up and stutter in your grasp. make it messy. bloody and painful and perfect. i can love you better that way—without the binding of my body. i can love you from within. without restraint or limit. i can love you without bounds. i can love you in whole.

tare me limb from limb and savour the flavour of me on your tongue. drink me in and stroke my face softly.

take me.

take the whole of me and do with it as you please.

i am yours for taking if you'll have me. you do know this, yes?

chew me softly. chew me slowly. taste me. savour me. devour me, and i'll only think that of you as endlessly kind. have your fill of me and then some more. leave nothing of me for the scavenging birds to scavenge. leave nothing of me to the crows and vultures and mice and insects.

peel me back layer by layer, unravel me and take a peak inside. see me, understand and experience for yourself the depth of my eternal soul and its longing for you and all the wars it's gone through. rip my fresh from my bones, and suck me dry of blood. relish in all it is that i am worth.

moan and cry and whimper and groan and enjoy. claws and teeth and all. take pleasure in this the way i know i will. let me know you want to me as desperately as i need you. leave cuts a bruises in your wake, cover those old, painful scars of mine with fresh ones. beautiful ones. i'll sing you to sleep after, lulling you to a dreamscape.

pry my lips open with your fingers. delve into my mouth and seek out my tongue. let me share your breath. to breathe you. and hold my face gently closer to yours as i do. feel my body go lax in you arms.

i want nothing to do with my fighting spirit.

feast upon me, my love. have your fill, take all that you want of me and leave nothing behind, i can only say it is the greatest gift to service you. i'll read to you softly when it's all done.

grind my bones bones into powder and carry me in the necklace that hangs close to your chest. keep me close to you.

i wish only to be yours.

if you'll grant me that privilege.

i'll wait for it forever.

you have ruined me for anyone else. you have ravaged my heart and pillaged my soul and you run rampant in my mind. don't tease, let me be yours.

allow me to be selfish. and forgive it. allow me ruin you for anyone else. for everyone else. allow me to be with you always. allow me to heal your hurt and you guilt from within. allow me to see you in full, in raw, in vulnerable, in the morning.

my only wish to know you, be close to you,

to love you

let the taste of i linger in your mouth, let me linger in your breath. you have so much a head of you dearest, let me fuel you and ready you for your day.

let us become one.

take me in my entirety. make me your own.

bestow upon me the greatest honour i can witlessly dream of; being yours.

truly and wholly yours,

----

pen smudges against the paper a little with the abrupt pause of his hand. this feels raw. raw like he hadn't expected it to be; going into this without a plan, only with a oath of honesty to himself. it's delicate and personal, the yolk of an uncooked egg.

he signs of with his name, fingers curling around the pen with practiced ease as its ink glides across the paper with grace. taking a deep breathe as he lets down the pen. his hand cramping a little but paying it no mind. shaking a little but all is well.

he folds the paper gently in thirds, handling it with the rivalling that of care a mother to her new born child. and he just stares.

stares at the now folded paper that sits at his desk. it's as close as he's gotten to expressing his emotions, his feelings that feel so much bigger than him, and this room, and the whole of the universe.

what he feels so deeply in his bones his marrow is familiar with this sentiment he's long struggled to put into words. evident from the crumpled papers filled with candied words and shallow ideas thrown thoughtlessly aside.

but still, he's unsure if this is the right thing to do. if it's wrong, he'll pray to whoever- whatever will listen that he's wrong in every lifetime.

the letter is still politely sat on his desk and he still rudely stares.

taking the neatly folded piece of his heart, finger tips of smudged ink holding it up to a small flame, and watching it turn to ash and burn away.

this a lot for a confession letter right?

---

i wrote this for suguru but a few other characters come to mind as well. + your favs

divider by @saradika-graphics

Tags

speechless LIKE R U SERIOUSSSS????? like actually. ACTUALLY. EVERYONE GO READ NAES STUFF NEOWWWW like this is so so insane like wow. genuinely have no words

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m1stm3

1 month ago

Sukuna is used to being pulled into the mortal realm, it was a part of the job as a demon. Most humans ask him for trivial things like wealth or immortality.

He has fun with it because he grants those wishes in the worst ways possible. A man will be wealthy but not be able to access it or if someone asks for immortality he will still let them age.

So when he was summoned he was more then ready to twist whatever wish the person had for him.

What he hadn’t expected was to be summoned to a small kitchen. A pot of something he can’t see simmers on the messy stovetop. He looks around for who summoned him here.

Sukuna’s eyes catch on a human sitting cross legged on the floor, an old tattered book in their hands. They are muttering something about thyme?

“Why have you summoned me here?” Sukuna booms and the human looks up in shock.

“Who are you? How did you get into my apartment?” You ask with confusion and rising concern.

Sukuna reiterates with a sigh, “You summoned me here, what do you want?”

Looking down at the book then back up at him then back to the book you look more and more confused.

“You were supposed to be chilli.” You say slowly to him.

If he wasn’t so miffed at being summoned for nothing he would’ve barked out a laugh. So he pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.

“How did you fuck up a chilli recipe this bad?” He asks you.

“I have never been that good of a cook- but this is a new low for me.” You admit and Sukuna joins you on the floor.

He doesn’t miss how your eyes trace the tattoos on his exposed torso. Maybe this won’t be so pointless after all.

“Well,” Sukuna gives you a smirk, “it looks like we are stuck together until you decide on what you want from me.”

Tags

☆blue.com☆ THIS IS SO FUNNY BLUE UR BRAIN i’d never tell him what i want he’s staying w me foreverrrr >:))

395 notes View Post

m1stm3

1 month ago

cw for drug mention :3

i need to stop hitting this cart cuz i’m thinking abt which meal each of my mutuals would be. if they were meals.

Tags

vale would be breakfast nd nae would be dinner btw blue i think gives me like. midday snack. something slightly sweet but not sweet enough to be considered dessert if that makes sense?? smth airy fluffy that’s blue to me nd then peach is some rlly rlly yummy dessert smth like a yummy mousse or a strawberry shortcake. yeeeea. princess aurora would also be dessert but it would be smth like a grand cake like multiple tiers mhm mhm

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m1stm3

1 month ago

sometimes i crave the college experience. like the woe of knowing ppl my age and they’re in school learning things and hanging out w cool or uncool ppl their age augh <//////3

Tags

i live right by a college town so that def doesn’t help LMAO small lore drop but i’m a nail tech so my technical program was only like 4 months?? and very independent yk so there’s not a lot of room for companionship unless i start working at a salon which is. scary. but i have to do it eventually ig 😭 or start renting my own space….. still deliberating that part ANYWAYS missing the college experience i will never get but also like idek what id major in so??? lmao

1 note View Post

m1stm3

6 months ago

subby stoner ino who’s just so overwhelmed by how tight and wet and warm u are around him he just can’t help but cry :( uggggh :(((

Tags

jjk jjk x reader jujutsu kaisen x reader jjk smut jujutsu kaisen smut ino takuma ino takuma x reader writing a drabble for this rn :p i’m literally so in love w him I LOVE WHEN BOYS CRY!!!! ino x reader

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m1stm3

1 month ago

soaking in the bath while toji sits on top of the toilet seat bc he’s a big baby and can’t handle how hot you like your water.

you’re on your phone or reading a book, the skin above the water dewy from the steam and he just watches you. he watches as your head lulls to the side with a sigh before your breathing steadies. he’d think you were asleep if he didn’t know you any better, but he did.

he’d normally tease you, say something about how he didn’t know cpr if you fell asleep in the bath… but he doesn’t. instead he matches his breathing with yours (anything to make himself feel closer to you in the quiet moment) and leans against the back of the toilet. he’s content with watching you until your skin got all pruny. after all, isn’t that what he’ll be doing years from now anyway?

Tags

<prev tags he'd try to sync your beating hearts is he could so you could feel the words he cannot express to you verbally UGGGH YES i’m so glad u see the vision nae so so glad

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m1stm3

9 months ago

A good friend group is one that can be confused for a polycule

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m1stm3

1 month ago

now playing…

angel by massive attack

↺ |◁ II ▷| ♡

yandere asylum therapist! suguru x reader

my first ever dark content/yandere oneshot aaaaaa!!! plsss thoroughly go through the cw’s before reading ^^;

cw’s!!: non-consensual drugging, mentions of needles/syringes, medical malpractice, descriptions of violence (gutting, beating someone to death, etc.), mentions/romanticization of cannibalism, blood eating, medical abuse (???), gn! reader, no use of y/n, uhhhh freaky suguru. like he’s actually crazy (but so are u) and uhhh i think that’s it?? ^^;

wc: 1.3k (what.)

“how have you been feeling?” your therapists voice is soft, just barely loud enough for you to hear. it’s like he’s trying to grasp at any sense of normalcy, as if any of this was normal. your head feels like it’s filled with cotton when you move to look at him, a deadly look in your dazed, slow-blinking eyes.

he completely disregards your glare with nothing but a growing smirk, shifting to adjust your position on his lap. “i see you’ve taken well to the sedatives.” his cold hand grazes your bare arm as he speaks and you have to resist the urge to use all of the strength you have left to throw yourself onto the floor just to get away from him. you decided against it. you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you like that.

suguru’s a charming man. every nurse, therapist, and criminal in this hellhole of an institution knew that. maybe that’s why he clung to you like this. you saw through him, had threatened to knock his teeth out just because you found his smile unsettling in the preliminary meeting (“a convenient way to find your perfect fit!” is what one of the brochures had read).

a few weeks later he was your primary therapist. the only one allowed to see you for sessions and the only one able to prescribe what medicine you took.

this time it was a strong sedative administered by needle, only given to you the one day a week you saw him for your “sessions”. he seemed to enjoy this one, considering how he hadn’t switched the prescription in almost a month (though you were sure he was upping the dose every week, there was no other explanation for the way the syringe seemed to get more and more full every time you saw the nurses holding it).

it’s only now that he seemed to notice the narrow-eyed expression you were giving him. “aw, don’t look at me like that… it’s for my safety, angel. i can’t have you lashing out and hurting me, can i?” his palm rests on your cheek and as much as you will the muscles in your neck to jerk away from his touch, it still doesn’t work. only a small grunt leaves you and that sound only heightens the amusement in his eyes.

“m’gonna fuckin’ kill you…” you manage to strain out. you despise how weak your voice sounds. you despise the way his eyebrow quirks up in interest in response to your threat. you despise how his voice comes out a low, patronizing purr when he asks “oh, are you?” because he knows you will. he knows that if he lowers your dose you won’t hesitate to hunt him down. he’s seen your files, he knows.

you let out a shaky breath at his words, that deadly glare in your eyes never faltering as your head nods in response to his question (though he’d barely constitute it as a nod, more like a subtle twitch of your muscles). “m’gonna gut you… cut you alllll the way from your bellybutton to your fuckin’ throat…” you can feel the delirium from your medication settling in when you’re halfway through speaking, but that doesn’t stop you.

“how gruesome.” is all he hums, a deep, twisted glint of admiration in his gaze. “you’ve certainly grown more creative.” the pad of his thumb presses into your bottom lip as he speaks. he seems almost satisfied with your violent description, like you’d just given him the greatest gift he could possibly ask for (to him, it was).

he couldn’t help but feel touched by your words, how you planned something particularly torturous just to bring him as much pain as possible. the way you hurt people — at least before you were admitted — was concise and unmeditated. someone made you lose your temper so you hurt them, plain and simple as that. you were only able to plead insanity because of the way you “blacked out”, only noticing the soreness in your arms (and the brain matter in your hair) after you had beat a man to death.

so for you — a patient with uncontrollable violent outbursts — to plan something specific just for him? oh, he could feel the pleasant chill rolling down his spine. how would you do it, suguru wondered. would you steal a scalpel from the nurses or a knife from the kitchen? would the way you cut him open be clean — planned, even — or would you just hack at his skin until you were satisfied? he could almost imagine the way you’d pin him down (not like you had to, he’d let you see his insides if you asked politely enough) and run the cool metal over his abdomen before he felt the sharp contrast of the warmth of his blood trickling down his skin. he could only hope he would be alive long enough to see the crimson tainting the pretty skin of your hands, getting under your nails and sinking into the grooves of your palms, absorbing every drop of him.

suguru was so lost in his fantasies that he didn’t notice the way you had squinted at his far away expression, a muscle in your jaw giving a small twitch. maybe if you…

suguru also didn’t notice the way you had managed to slowly pry your jaw open, the tip of his thumb now resting against the ridges of your bottom row of teeth. at least, he didn’t notice until you miraculously willed your jaw to snap shut, the metallic taste on your tongue bringing you a primal sense of satisfaction (you would’ve preferred to bite the the tip of his thumb clean off to teach him a lesson, but this would do).

and oh, you would’ve laughed in his face if you could when you heard that strangled little gasp leave his lips. you relished in the way he watched you with a dumbfounded look, his usually piercing eyes opened wide in surprise.

your victory was disturbingly short lived, though. his shock quickly turned into something almost giddy with the way his eyes seemed to light up like a child who was just handed their favorite toy. he forced his thumb deeper into your mouth, his head cocking to the side almost observantly. “how do i taste, angel? hm?” there’s a crazed look in his eyes. you feel like you’re getting dissected. “maybe you should eat me after you cut me open, yeah? i’d let you, you have my permission.” he’s all too eager to give you more ideas, more ways to torture him even after death.

his arm snakes around your middle so he can press a palm to your stomach. “i’d be with you forever… wouldn’t you like that, angel?” he murmurs lowly by your ear. you don’t have the strength to answer anymore, your eyes blinking slower… and slower…

he holds you tight as you slump against him, (the sedatives make you intensely drowsy… it doesn’t help that he had prescribed you double the recommended amount) making a mental note to up your dosage once again. he can’t risk you building up some sort of immunity, can he? if the force of your bite was any indication, he’d have to find a new medicine for you within the next month or two (not like it was any hassle on his end. if anything, he was excited to see your adorably pathetic attempts to brute force your way through the daze of a new drug).

he just had to keep you here with him… you’d learn to love it.

to love him.

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m1stm3

1 week ago

hi suguru fans. cooking up smth malicious rn.

Tags

hiiiiiiiiiii it shall be my first attempt at writing smth unsettling/horror-ish??? pls be gentle w me

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