Latest Posts by liona-sourn - Page 7
A couple of months ago I sent a proposal for a horror series to a publisher and I had to provide 10 sample pages. It didn’t get picked up, but I got some encouraging words for them so I’m currently working on a one-shot.
I wanted to share these pages since I’m kinda proud of them and I want other to see them & I think it kinda works as a short, open-ended little story.
a whole bunch of gazan mutual aid projects and nonprofits. if the decision of which individual fundraiser to give to feels too daunting, or if you just want to help as many people as possible in one go, these are great initiatives to support.
care for gaza - focuses on providing food and essential supplies. donate here or here.
connecting humanity - securing internet access via donations of virtual sim cards (esims). if you can't afford a whole plan yourself, crips for esims is a communal pool that will use your donation to purchase and maintain esims
gaza soup kitchen - provides food, medical care, and classes for children. also has a gofundme
glia gaza medical support initiative - provides medical care through field clinics and tents at hospitals. donations can also be sent through their website.
ele elna elak - provides clean water, food, clothing, and shelter. they also have a gofundme
life for gaza - raising money for the gaza municipality to repair water and waste management infrastructure
taawon - partners with local civil organizations to provide food, water, medical care, shelter, and basic supplies
the sameer project - running various initiatives providing tents, medical care, and necessities. they have their own encampment project focused on sheltering families with children, sick and disabled members, or members in need of perinatal care
islamic relief worldwide's gaza emergency appeal - provides food, water, hygiene kits, medical supplies, and psychological support
baitulmaal - provides a variety of necessities, including food, water, shelter, and medical supplies
gaza mutual aid fund - distributes food, hygiene products, water, and other essential supplies, including financial support. run by @/el-shab-hussein's amazing friend Mona. updates can be found on her instagram.
hygiene kits for gaza - provides hygiene supplies including menstrual products, wipes, and toothbrushes/toothpaste
anera - provides a variety of necessities, including food, water, hygiene supplies, medicine, blankets and mattresses, and psychological care
palestine children's relief fund - provides supplies and support with a focus on children. also has an initiative for lebanon
dahnoun mutual aid - provides water, food, tents, baby supplies, financial support, and other necessities. updates can be found through their instagram
certainly this is not an exhaustive list, so please feel free to add on other projects or organizations that i didn't include. and as always, please take the time to donate if you can and share. it truly makes all the difference.
🚨 !! DONT SKIP !! donations urgently needed 🚨
I'm Anas Basil, a recent high school graduate with dreams of pursuing a degree in e-business management and building a career. However, due to my family's financial hardships, I enrolled at Khan Younis Training College (KYTC), affiliated with UNRWA. Sadly, the war has turned the college, once a beacon of hope and education, into a shelter for displaced families, stripping it of its educational purpose.
I completed high school with a 93% average, filled with excitement about continuing my education and securing a job to support my family. But like so many others, the war has shattered those dreams.
My younger brother, Ahmad, is 14 years old and currently in the third grade of preparatory school. We’ve always called him "Doctor of the Future" because of his intelligence and natural talent in mathematics. Unfortunately, due to the ongoing war, he has been deprived of schooling for the second consecutive year. In addition to his academic abilities, Ahmad has a passion for football and used to win tournaments.
Our Life in Displacement: The war forced our family to flee to Rafah, where we lived in a tent for several months. Each day, my brother and I would wake up to fetch water, gather wood, and light a fire to prepare food. Survival became our daily task, but we never gave up hope. The conflict affected us deeply, but it did not extinguish our dreams of education and a better future.
🚀 How Your Donation will Help us:
We are seeking €29,000 to help Ahmed and me leave Gaza, continue our education. More importantly, it will allow us to support our family, who have been deeply affected by the harsh conditions and skyrocketing costs of living due to the ongoing war in Gaza.
👉 Donation link: 🔗https://gofund.me/32e5e95e
Your contribution will not only help us escape the war-torn reality we live in but also give us the opportunity to rebuild our futures.
Every donation, no matter the amount, brings us one step closer to our goal.
With deepest gratitude, Anas & Ahmed
✅ Our Fundraiser Vetted by✅ 🔍@gazavetters, official (list at #83) 🔍@90-ghost here 🔍by association in this post
Our goal was survival, but now survival defines our existence! 🇵🇸🍉
Please don’t rush through this text, read it carefully:
We are living in extremely harsh conditions, where our tent has been severely damaged and no longer provides the necessary protection.
The cost of building a new tent right now is about 1000 euros, and it is an essential shelter for our family, which is suffering from difficult living conditions.
We also face a severe shortage of food, especially basic items like flour, which has now reached 100 euros. Securing daily food would help improve these conditions.
My brother Samer is suffering from the absence of essential medications for stabilizing his health, and their cost is extremely high.
I would like to express my sincere thanks to everyone who has supported my campaign and contributed to alleviating my family’s suffering during these tough times.
The art you see is by the talented artist @ardentblooms , who offers custom commissions in exchange for donations to support my family. Your support means so much to us and shows that art can be a true way to make a difference.
Campaign Link
My campaign is verified by:
@dlxxv-vetted-donations & @a-shade-of-blue vetted
@gazavetters , my number on the list is (#75)
paliliberation, my number on the list is (#171)
Our important links are here
Your support could be a lifeline for our family in these difficult circumstances. 🙏💜
I think we should start a collaborative collection of minor bsd lore/character facts that people forget/don't know about because they're manga or light novels-exclusive because there's so many of them
Like Dazai making extremely good tofu while trying to make a saying literal by hurting his head on tofu and being mad about it in Dark Era
On twitter I’m seeing dozens of threads from Black activists warning people against burnout, giving all sorts of useful tips about preventing and managing it for the sake of a long-term, sustainable effort.
On tumblr I’m seeing a hell of a lot of young white kids yelling at anyone who actually follows those steps, and acting like burnout is a moral falling rather than a well-proven psychological phenomenon.
Be careful who you get your information from. Don’t let guilt lead you to make choices that will harm both you and the movement.
From Asagiri’s “Reception of Modern Literature” lecture at Chuo University’s Hakumon Festival. It's quite interesting, so sharing it here. It's confirmed that there'll be more arcs after this one is finished!
Honestly, I love the idea of a vampire who only drinks blood taken from blood banks and hospitals, because it so beautifully encompasses someone who's more concerned with the vibes of something than the actual impact of it.
Drinking from someone on the street, barring some other condition they may have, isn't likely to kill them unless you gorge yourself. Taking blood packs? There's always a shortage of blood, and having even less of it runs the very real risk of getting someone killed in a way that is wholly out of your control once you've sipped on that blood. Someone you can't assure the innocence or guilt of, if you're the type of person who cares about that.
Despite that, in popular stuff, I often see discussions of drinking from a blood bank being somehow better or preferable, and yeah. No. The only thing it does is make you feel better while doing more harm, because of that degree of removal. You're effectively drinking blood from someone on the cusp of hypovolemic shock, but since it's not straight from the tap, some people seem to think it's better.
⚠️SPOILER⚠️ Check out my novel!! Genre is Fantasy/Romance. Free on Wattpad, Inkitt, and Tapas apps! Links below.
Read The Secrets We Keep for free on Inkitt https://www.inkitt.com/stories/fantasy/1364267?utm_source=shared_ios
Check out The Secrets We Keep on Tapas. https://tapas.io/series/The-Secrets-We-Keep/info
My country is experiencing a traumatic natural disaster.
I made a comic to make it more digestible.
Shares appreciated, I'm just trying to bring awareness here
I've always wanted to learn how to be more expressive with colours so here's a weird experiment using bird #36 from yesterday... Just playing around with a colour layer, nothing major. It's definitely more interesting to look at than just plain ol' realistic colours?
It's hard to find a balance between keeping the birds recognisable and stylising them.
Genocide flattens every discussion. There are no new conversations to be had about the destruction, death and cruelty. After more than a year, there is nothing left to be said about various media houses, corporations and international bodies of law aiding and abetting all that has been happening in Gaza, either. It is the banality of evil, it is colonialism. However even in this atrociously banal circumstance, I do think what still is a continued point of hope for Gazans and what still pushes so many of them to reach out to the world, is the support people around the globe have shown and still continue to show. Which is why I am here on behalf campaigns Palestine blogs ask me to share or donate.
@youseffamily
(https://gofund.me/fefe93ba)
Save the life of an innocent child
PLEASE look at this fundraiser. ( @youseffamily)Yousef's baby is in critical condition and the doctors in Gaza are unable to help him due to the lack of proper medical care. His son is unable to breathe normally and Yousef's fundraiser is nearly dead in the water, with only $3,158 raised out of a $20,000 goal. If 100 people reading this donated $10, Yousef could raise $1000 in a day. If you are able to donate, if you can do anything to help, please do not delay. Yousef's son's life depends on it.
@aliandhadeel-family7
Help me and my family escape to safety
[ https://gofund.me/e80367ff ]
Save the life of an innocent child
PLEASE look at this fundraiser. ( @aliandhadeel-family7) Hadeel's baby is in critical condition and the doctors in Gaza are unable to help him due to the lack of proper medical care. Her son is unable to breathe normally and Yasser's fundraiser is nearly dead in the water, with only €105 raised out of a €70,000 goal. You can help this family getting out this nightmare safely if you share or donate $10/$5/$20 donations are protected but please share their campaign to get them verified and also donations
@mariam-gaza
Help my children to evacuat gaza
$1,216/$20,000 6% of their goal
[ https://gofund.me/b2e57341 ]
This campaign is vetted by association through @ayoosh-gaza (who is herself vetted by association through another vetted person here). Mariam, along with Huda (@huda-gaza) are Ayaa's sisters.
@noor509
Help Nour and his family survive the war in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/003421a3 ] $33,039/$45,000 73% vetted by 90-ghost and association
@mohmoud-j & @jomana-ha Help Mahmoud’s Family Evacuate for Urgent Medical Care (https://gofund.me/363ae8ca)
$15,588 raised of $60,000
Verified by emperorpalpatittay and a-shade-of-blue
@anasgaza12 Donate to allow my family to survive (https://gofund.me/f6e9cad8)
€12,211 raised of €50,000
Vetted by gazavetters , their number verified on the list is ( #32 ) and various others
@omarmohammed14
Help Omar evacuate Gaza and help his family
[https://gofund.me/8796dd9f]
€1,299 raised of €25,000 5% donations are protected Vetted by 90-ghost
@asil60
Support Asil Fight for Life and Family in Gaza
[ https://gofund.me/00e17ca7] $64,845/$100,000 65% vetted by 90-ghost and various others
@mahmoudnassersblog
Help this family evacuate from gaza
[ https://gofund.me/bdae73b3 ] $17,933/$50,000 37% vetted by 90-ghost
@faroham Rebuilding After loss: Your Support Brings Us Back [ https://gofund.me/3ef81d29 ]
$3,591 raised of $35,000
gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #42)
@majedalgherbawi
Rebuilding Hope: A Gaza Family in Need of Your Help [ https://gofund.me/abbc2759 ]
$6,607 raised of $70,000 vetted by 90-ghost
@maysa-salman
Help Maysa and her family in Gaza to survive
[ https://gofund.me/6f130b30 ] €140/€50,000
@yasermohammad
Help my Uncel’s family , BE THE CHANGE
[ https://gofund.me/b8705606 ]
€24,659 raised of €35,000 vetted
@abedhilles Help me save myself and my child Karam [ https://gofund.me/c6b702ba ]
$4,350 raised of $35,000
Vetted by 90-ghost
@hind3en Help reunite our family and rebuild our lives again [ https://gofund.me/e207de41 ]
$1,561 raised of $40,000
Proof being vetted [ https://www.tumblr.com/rhq2744/760240324607164416/verified-by-rhq2744?source=share ]
@alimeq92 Help us survive 10 months of hunger, aya & ali [ https://gofund.me/c7fcda11 ]
€2,161 raised of €70,000
Vetted by gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #54 )
@aboyousef1973
Hamdi Ali Ayyad (https://gofund.me/1981e402)
€1,882 raised of €25,000
@mahmoidsy Help Mahmoud and his family escape Gaza & continue education [ https://gofund.me/c106d785 ] $5,390 raised of $25,000
Vetted gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #63 ) and beesandwatermelon list is #190
@ayman-meq18
Aidez la famille MOKDAD a survivre au genocide israélite [ https://gofund.me/94edbc2b ]
€1,119 raised of €90,000
Vetted by @gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #94 )
@kawlafamily01
Support Khawla's Family in Gaza Crisis
$9,065/$20,000 45% donations has been made [ https://gofund.me/5050ded3 ]
She is a mother of three children, the elder Mohammed, 6 years old, who was infected with hepatitis C from water and malnutrition and needs special food and complementary treatment to support his weak immunity. Verified by @fidaa-family2 is her sister
@dina-my-family
Help me save my children from death in the Gaza war $12,245/$50,000 goal [ https://gofund.me/1bff15a6 ]
Dina's son is suffering from a bad fever and they need support to afford basic necessities like food, water, diapers, and clothes to keep warm during the upcoming winter. Please keep sharing, & donate to help the campaign!
@asmaayyad1
€25,460/€45,000 57% has been donated
Help me and my family escape the war in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/466fa61a ]
Verified by 90-ghost various others
@rewaida97
Help Maher and his family escape Gaza, and build a future [ https://gofund.me/1ccd21c2 ] €2,151/€30,000 vetted by 90-ghost
@hebanaseif
Helping Heba Family : Escaping War to a New Life €62/€50,000 [ https://gofund.me/e6a27592 ]
0% of their goal donations are protected but lack of verification and sharing campaign not getting them more donations so please share or tag any accounts can help them get verified
@mahmoudayyads
Urgent aid ! Help to fight starvation for an extended family €6,770/€55,000 12% of their goal [ https://gofund.me/fe3cd6dc ]
Verified by 90-ghost
@hanangaza1
Save Hanan and her children to reach safety
[ https://gofund.me/269b7293 ]
$3,575/$100,000 4% of their goal
Verified by 90-ghost
@olagaza1
Ola's Family Call for your Support Amid Crisis
[ https://gofund.me/89e42c74 ]
$57,654/$85,000 68% of their goal
Verified by 90-ghost various others
@najahmeq2
Help us to survive
[ https://gofund.me/6faa91b4 ]
€3.781/€80.000 5% of their goal
Vetted by gazavetters number verified on the list is ( #49 )
@noorabd-1992
Help Nour and his family escape from the war in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/cacc94dd ]
$23.245/$45.000 52% of their goal
Verified by 90-ghost
@ahmaad860
Help Ahmed’s family escape the war
[ https://gofund.me/aa7b3ff2 ]
€8,901/€50,000 18% of their goal
Verified by 90-ghost and gazavetters number verified on the list is ( #1 )
@ahmed-family-1
Help my family to live and go to a safe place
[ https://gofund.me/60c0d478 ]
£11,623/£81,000 14% of their goal
@manar4ram
Announcing a campaign to evacuate Ahlam for treatment abroad [ https://gofund.me/8398f4cc ] €1,716/€20,000 9% of their goal
Ahlam Ramadan suffers from kidney failure have 6 daughters and a son she URGENTLY needs to Evacuate is in critical condition and the doctors in Gaza are unable to help her due to the lack of proper medical care. PLEASE share or donate to help her family.
Vetted by gazavetters number verified on the list is ( #69 )
@mahmoud3hilles
Helping my family rebuild our home
[ https://gofund.me/7fa8e82c ]
€12,477/€50,000 25% of their goal
The campaign was documented by el-shab-hussein/ and nabulsi
@ahmad-syam2
Help Ahmed Jehad and his newborn survive!
[ https://gofund.me/028d6998 ]
$6,704 CAD/$40,000 16% of the goal
Vetted by gazavetters number verified on the list is ( #84 ) Verified by bees and watermelon, number 171 and northgazaupdates.
@eyadgaza
Help my family EVACUATE from Gaza.
[ https://gofund.me/9e599706 ]
€2,338/€40,000 5% Vetted by Nabulsi and Vetted by gazavetters #24 Iyad Alanqar @eyadgaza and his family are in grave danger. They have been living through a year of war without proper access to food, shelter, or medical care. Several children of the family have already been killed recently due to bombing.
Right now, missiles have been going off around the Alanqar family. Iyad fears that he may die tonight. He wants his family to survive, to not die unjustly in this genocide. However, he cannot do so alone. He needs your help to purchase basic necessities
@omar-gaze3
Help jody and her family evacuate from Gaza
[ https://gofund.me/60d9e2dd ]
£11,771/£20,000 59% has been donated
This campaign is vetted by association. Omar is the best friend of @mohiy-gaza
@yousefalyazjii1
Help Youssef and his family escape the occupation [ https://gofund.me/2e1c5dfb ]
kr9,556 SEK/kr200,000 5% has been donated
Vetted by number verified on the list is ( #87 )
@shamiamja
Help Jamal Shamia survive the war.
[ https://gofund.me/0409fb46 ]
kr67,488 SEK/kr250,000 27% has been donated
@emanfamily5
Help Eman and Her Children Escape Gaza
[ https://gofund.me/77751696 ]
$2,227/$20,000 11% of their goal
This campaign is vetted by the association through @eslamfamily3 . Eman is her sister.
Disclaimer: I am NOT an official vetter and I did NOT vet this. That was done by the aforementioned vetted Palestinian, I'm just the messenger. I personally believe this campaign is legitimate given the evidence and encourage you to share and donate if you feel comfortable.
@maria-gaza1
Urgent: Help Maria and her family survive the war in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/a85bebee ]
$9,792 CAD/$30,000 33%
Vetted by 90-ghost
@rewaamir
Help Rewaa's family survive the hell of war in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/e621f3ef ] 0% ther goal
$100 CAD/$55,000
Vetted by gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #155 )
@randasalem75
Help My Family in Gaza Secure Food and Medicine Amid War [ https://gofund.me/8098c31e ]
$78 CAD/$50,000
Unvetted but reverse image are clear and donations are protected
@sfaamq10
Support Safaa's Quest To Get Her Family To Safety. [ https://gofund.me/9955bd5a ]
$21,316/$75,000 28% of their goal
Safaa is a 26 year old lawyer and mother to an 8 month old baby boy named Amir living in Gaza. She and her extended family have been dealing with extreme stress, loss, and health issues due to the destruction. She and her husband Mohammed have had to relocate, lost access to clean water, food and proper shelter, and have had their goals and dreams seemingly crushed. But there is still so much hope.
@bshaeromars-blog
Help my family escape Gaza
[ https://gofund.me/c0fb7b5f ] 61% of their goal
$24,552/$40,000
Vetted by; nabulsi el-shab-hussein
@fatma-family
Support Fatima's Family in Gaza After Heartbreaking Tragedy [ https://gofund.me/7d2bedab ]
€10,145/€20,000 51% their goal
Unvetted?? but reverse image are clear and donations are protected
@valentina-leonardi
Help Mahmoud's family survive the genocide!
[ https://gofund.me/b97a7d0b ] €6,280/€35,000 18%
Valentina is helping Mahmoud's family by making their campaign completely Vetted and safe to donate. It will all go to Mahmoud's family.
@ahmadmoneer €889/€30,000
Ahmed in the Heart of War:A Father's Struggle to Save family [ https://gofund.me/27142aea ]
Unvetted but reverse image are clear and donations are protected
@amany-raed
Help us to survive from this war
[ https://gofund.me/67de5ee7 ]
Vetted by gazavetters , number verified on the ( list #8 ) €1,671/€35,000
@abood-gaza4
Help Abood From the War
[ https://gofund.me/7a4d8d0a ]
$20,225/$40,000 51% of their goal
Vetted by dlxxv-vetted-donations abood account was unfortunately deleted that's why
@ayoosh-gaza1& @ahmad-gaza
Helping my family to evacuate from Gaza
[ https://gofund.me/87a0fa9f ]
$10,975/$35,000 31% of the goal
Vatted by gaza-evacuation-funds
@aiamaher
Help Aya's family survive the war.
[https://gofund.me/651401af]
€3,311/€55,000 6%
Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help.
@haninfamily5
Support Hanin's Family in Rebuilding Life
( https://gofund.me/3c840d91 )
$4,180/$20,000 21%
Gerard is helping Hanin's family by making their campaign completely Vetted and safe to donate. It will all go to Hanin's family.
@saja2007
Help Salwaś family escape the war
[ https://gofund.me/f1e78c37 ]
€75/€40,000
Vetted by gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #179 )
@kaw95thar
Kawthar family to evacuate from Gaza war
[ https://gofund.me/4089480c ]
€1,435/€50,000 3%
Vetted by gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #145 ) vetted by 90-ghost
Vetted by gaza-evacuation-funds
@ezzaldeens-blog2
Rebuilding Hope: Help Ezzedine Escape the War in Gaza [https://gofund.me/f5bc0ff1]
€4,564/€10,000
vetted by 90-ghost a-shade-of-blue dlxxv-vetted-donations gaza-evacuation-funds and Gaza vetters number verified is #52
@osamanaseef
Help Dr. Osama's family survive death in Gaza
[ https://gofund.me/f05a632c ] €150/€70,000
Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help.
@wafaaresh6
Support Wafa's Fight for Safety and Health
[ https://gofund.me/03e1abcd ]
$49,186/$50,000 98%
@odayfamily
Help Oday And Family Evacuate Gaza, Rebuild Lives [ https://gofund.me/c217b7f7 ]
€5,628/€50,000 11%
Vetted by el-shab-huseein nabulsi gaza-evacation-funds is the access number (261) on their spreadsheet.
@aboodalqedra-9
Your support encourages me to move forward. For my family [ https://gofund.me/95360334 ] €2,931/€25,000
campaign is verified by gaza-evacuation-funds
@nadagaza-3
Help me save my family from Gaza
[ https://gofund.me/d0a409eb ]
€1,328/€20,000
Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help.
@yousef-falestinef
Help Palestine and Family Survive the Gaza Crisis [ https://gofund.me/77ca82d7 ]
$30,512/$40,000 76% of their goal
Vetted by 90-ghost
@ahmedashrafanqar
Support Ahmed's Family in Their Stand Against Aggression [ https://gofund.me/353a445c ] €65/€30,000
Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help.
@aymanbasil2
From Rubble to Success: Helping Osama Rebuild His Dream [ https://gofund.me/100da7db ]
Verified by 90-ghost gazavetters #146 on this list €3,687/€15,000 25%
@mayarram
Announcing a campaign to evacuate Ahlam for treatment abroad [ https://gofund.me/8398f4cc ] €2,639/€20,000
Vetted by gazavetters 90-ghost
gaza-evacuation-funds
@2malakmaloka
Urgent Relief; Help my family evacuate
[ https://gofund.me/f259485b ]
€1,170/€40,000 verified by @/ibtisams
@jaberfamily5
Support a Family's Journey to Safety and Peace [ https://gofund.me/c1544f1a ] $756/$29,000 3% of goal
Vetted by 90-ghost and association
@ahmed-walid-sadeq94
[ https://gofund.me/07083b05] €405/€70,000
Vetted by 90-ghost
@save-family-mo
Help Salem Family From Gaza
[ https://gofund.me/9233fc30 ] €7,177/€10,000 75%
Vetted by 90-ghost
@eslam-gaza
Support for a Family in Need
[ https://gofund.me/8957280f ] €582/€50,000 1%
Vetted by Gaza vetters number is #181
@asma-jamal
Help Asmaa and her family in Gaza survive
[ https://gofund.me/bf3f2550 ] €85/€50,000
Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help.
@mahmoud-sd
Campaign for Raghad
[https://chuffed.org/project/114389-campaign-for-raghad ]
Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help. Note: the link is different donations site than GoFundMe the campaign is legitimate as far I know please don't hesitate just because campaign isn't a GoFundMe one
@marymfamily
Help for a better life and to get out of Gaza
[ https://gofund.me/5d807fd8 ] €2,380/€50,000
Vetted by Gaza vetters number is #34
@malak3ayman
Family relief and survival from massacres
[ https://gofund.me/b95ef740 ] vetted by 90-ghost various others €2,940/€60,000 5% of their goal
@ahmed-family-1
Help my family to live and go to a safe place [ https://gofund.me/60c0d478 ] £13,250/£81,000 16% of their goal
Vetted by 90-ghost
@mohammedmashnifam
Help me and my little family evacuate Gaza and survive
[ https://gofund.me/5d94fc85 ]
€581/€45,000 vetted by 90-ghost
@tarnem-1
A Cry from Gaza: A Mother's Plea for Her Children's Survival [https://gofund.me/0190de90 ] €1,090/€60,000 1% of their goal
@asmmma-family
Help Asmaa Abed Find Safety
[ https://gofund.me/791dc07f ] $8,689/$20,000 43% of their goal @asma-family2 (same gfm link).
This campaign is vetted by association through @mohiy-gaza2 (vet). Asmaa is his sister.
@tahreer19
Help Tahrir Survive in Gaza
[ https://gofund.me/2119998c ] $12,405/$65,000 19% of their goal Raina Carter is helping Tahrir's family by making their campaign completely Vetted and safe to donate. It will all go to Tahrir's family.
@ghada-hassan
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Ok everybody here's the deal.
My science education nonprofit, Skype a Scientist (you might know her, creator of the squid facts hotline and matcher of classrooms + scientists) has secured absolutely no grants to support general operations for 2025. But! We're selling advent calendars to fund our program! They absolutely rule. They can save our nonprofit asses. If we sell 5000, which I realize, is so many, we can fund our program for 2025. Then I can offer a bunch of programming for free. Running a nonprofit is a weird job.
Every day, counting down to frankly whatever you want (it's usually Christmas, but man, maybe you want to count down to Halloween, that's fine by me) scratch off the sparkly sparkly iridescence and reveal a fact about frogs! We have 24 top-notch frog facts here.
You should get one for every kid in your life, then get one for all the adults who still let themselves access joy in critters.
Get 'em here: https://squidfacts.bigcartel.com/
ma jeunesse ne fut qu’un ténébreux orage, traversé çà et là par de brillants soleils (c) charles baudelaire I keep posting my old art
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How the hell do I tag people? Sorry crabart I want to reply back but don't know how 😭
On an unrelated note, currently working on my OC's for my novel. Trying to figure out how to translate each of their heights. Going slow but steady. Might also be because I am not used to drawing digitally.
All the names Chuuya and Dazai call each other in the Fifteen light novel
Note: This is not every time they insult/make fun of each other. For example Dazai tends to say things like he'll put a curse on Chuuya to remain short whilst he grows tall, more than name calling. However this list is only name calling.
Dazai about Chuuya:
Kid
Pip-squeak (Uses more than once)
Little fairy
A child
Schoolboy (Uses more than once)
Little man
Filthy dog
Chuuya - He calls Chuuya by his name for the first time in the arcade, Chuuya then tells him not to use his name. After this Dazai repeatedly says his name over using nicknames.
Chuuya about Dazai:
Kid
Surprisingly gutsy kid
Little shit
Little punk
Dumbass
Lil twig
Mummy boy (Uses more than once)
Little wimp
Bandages
Idiot
Twisted freak
Little suicide-obsessed- (he's cut off before he finishes this one)
Sly dirtbag
Slimeball (Uses more than once)
Crafty son of a bitch
Sly bastard
Demon
Weasel
Dazai - He calls Dazai by his name for the first time during their fight with Rimbaud when they agree to work together to defeat him. However, he still mixes in name calling along with using Dazai's name.
BONUS - Names Chuuya uses for other people:
Old man - Hirotsu
Old fart - Hirotsu and the Old Boss
Doc - Mori
Bastard - Mori
Piece of shit - Mori
Damn octopus - Mori
Gramps - Random GSS member
Dumbass - Shirase
Ma'am (Ane-san) - Kouyou. (She also calls Chuuya 'Young man' just before this. They both disapprove of being called these.)
Boss - Mori
Randou - Rimbaud (as far as I could see Chuuya mostly used his name, though I may have missed a nickname)
A thing I noticed with Dazai is that he generally calls people by their names. He calls Hirotsu, Mori and Kouyou all by name. With Mori it sometimes feels like that's the insult, he knows he can get away with disrespecting him this way, so he doesn't call Mori his Boss. Similarly he only starts calling Chuuya by name after he's told not to. He also prefers coming up with imaginative insults/scenarios rather than name calling, though he's not above it, so his list is a lot shorter than Chuuya's.
Chuuya however, uses nicknames for practically everyone, they just get more polite the more he respects them. Mori goes from 'Bastard' and 'Octopus' to 'Boss', once he gains Chuuya's respect. Rimbaud felt like the exception because Chuuya kept calling him Randou during their fight.
I also think it's interesting that Chuuya calls most adults something to do with being old/older. I don't know whether it was intentional or not, but to me, this emphasizes how Chuuya is used to being solely around other children. Even Kouyou who is only nineteen, is labeled as older to Chuuya, probably because there were no Sheep her age. In both the anime and the manga they are all depicted as younger teens around the same age as Chuuya.
Ane-san is also a mafia title, so it could just be that, but I do think Chuuya is genuinely not used to being around adults and that not meaning danger.
ON DAZAI AND EMPATHY: A character study Before you read: Obviously diagnosing any character in fiction seriously is a fool’s errand, but I am a fool, so let’s just do this for amusement. The main thing I desire is to discuss is the extent to which Dazai is capable of various types of empathy, as well as how that influences the way he sees and interacts with others. It will be chaotic and all over the place because I just sat down and wrote this in a fit. Let me explain some factors in analyzing Osamu: The author's intention is clearly to make Dazai's internal world a mystery. Since we don't have enough information, all we can do is hypothesize based on external elements. Generally, across all novels, the only time we’ve seen anything of Dazai’s perspective is in “The Day I picked up Dazai” (Beast continuity) – where he “saves” Oda and tortures that random dude. We don’t hear his thoughts narrated from first-person perspective, unlike many of the other novels.
Now, the crux of the issue. For years, it’s been discussed whether Dazai is a “sociopath”. If we disregard that sociopathy is a very loaded term that can mean a lot of things depending on which specialist you consult, at the very least, Dazai does strike me as someone with a unique expression of empathy, who could qualify for Anti-social personality disorder or a related condition. I will abandon the idea that Dazai is a sociopath, and use actual concepts that have legitimacy within this post. Whether Dazai could qualify for ASPD or any other disorder is something I've seen discussed for many years within the fandom. I'll try to analyze how these concepts could apply to him. In regards to mental health and Kafka (since it is a contentious matter) and the validity of any of this: I understand that a lot of people are resistant to the idea that any of the characters could have conditions more complex than depression, anxiety, and PTSD. This is my counterpoint. I have noticed that Asagiri emulates a lot of characteristics commonly attributed to “geniuses”, without confirming or potentially even intending to write these characters as having a specific condition.
A great example is Ranpo – who will read as autistic to any decent mental health professional (Untold Origins). Did Asagiri intentionally sit down and say “I am going to write an autistic character”? Maybe not. However, the “genius” stereotype is profoundly connected to visions of autism, even if people aren’t aware of it. Take people like Sherlock, House and L from Death Note – they’re commonly believed to be autistic by fans. All of these characters borrow from the same group of traits, that just happens to correspond with a certain condition - savants have always been popular in fiction. It's been known that the favorite type of character for Asagiri is the “prodigy” type, and he has used geniuses across fiction for inspiration of most notable intelligent characters within BSD. For Ranpo it was Sherlock, for Fyodor it was Joker from the Dark Knight (a classic sociopath), for Dazai it was Patrick from The Mentalist.
What I’m trying to say is, you can see various personality disorders connected to the portrayal of these geniuses, and even without confirming their state, it is clear they are either intentionally or unintentionally coded to be that way. Extremely intelligent characters not being able to read social cues, lacking empathy, disregarding rules etc. is something we commonly see in fiction. Basically, a lot of people don’t even know that these stereotypes are based on certain personality types, disorders, and illnesses. It’s sort of like drawing a character and dyeing their hair a certain shade of blue that you don’t know the particular name of: it doesn’t change the fact that you used that color, and the fact it has a name. Most authors are not mental health experts anyways, so they may not be entirely aware of every detail of the psychological framework they write the character to possess. They also may not write it consistently, as they're mostly emulating stereotypes. I mention Ranpo and autism because a character can embody traits of a stereotype without the author even necessarily having the intention to do so, however, to anyone who knows a thing or two, it is clear Ranpo is on the spectrum. If Ranpo were to express a few traits that go against this, it would not necessarily take away from the large-scale portrayal he is meant to exude: an autistic coded genius.
Why am I saying this? It is entirely possible for the author to write Dazai as a person with anti-social personality disorder, to “code” him in that way, but to not be entirely aware of how an individual with ASPD realistically tends to act. Because he may be emulating a certain "stereotype" of a genius, he may also end up emulating specific psychological states, without making them entirely consistent in a realistic way. Writing the way individuals with ASPD tend to deal with empathy can be extremely difficult for anyone. It's easy to emulate a sociopath on a superficial level, but beyond that, it gets more challenging. How would a person with limited empathy act when they're hurting someone? That is an easier idea to handle. But how will they act in a friendly relationship? This is where it gets tricky. That is likely why someone like Dazai can never be consistently compatible with a very specific disorder: but, he can come very close. Besides, concepts such as anxiety and depression are pretty well-known, but more niche mental health conditions are not as well understood. So, BSD Osamu was written with specific attention to mental health issues because the author himself was someone who spoke heavily on the topic. I’ve read a lot of real-life Dazai Osamu, with special attention to No Longer Human (the main inspiration for BSD Dazai was Yozo) – and neither RL Dazai nor Yozo gave me the impression they could qualify for ASPD at all.
I know BSD Dazai is the opposite of the RL author in so many ways, but I guess it’s relevant to mention this because we know so little of BSD Dazai’s internal working processes, and Asagiri's main inspiration can tell us a lot about the intentions behind Dazai's portrayal. Generally, an intention or idea behind a character can give a lot of clues to us - more than anything, I am under the impression some of the main ideas behind Dazai's creation was that: 1) He doesn't feel like he belongs among humans 2) He has mental health issues However, we have difficulty defining the exact source of why all of this is in more realistic terms.
Naturally, since Dazai, an extremely socially intelligent person, sees himself as "othered", it is logical to assume he is not capable of fulfilling some emotional function most people can in a successful enough way. If he were just mentally ill in more typical ways (only depression), I theorize he wouldn't feel that "othered". He specifically is not meant to feel human. Obviously, his extreme intelligence is one of the things that isolates him, but the question is what else?
We are led to believe Dazai "sees" something the rest of us don't, and that is one of the reasons he wants to die. However, there is something more to it, as I believe it to be. We have two characters who are as intelligent as Dazai: Fyodor and Ranpo, and neither of them is suicidal, as far as we know. I believe Dazai "feels" a certain way, and then finds a way to logically justify it. Due to his intelligence, he likely falls into a complex loop which leads him to existential nihilism: but you usually don't end up in a place like that if you tend to feel alright in the first place, regardless of how smart you may be. While Dazai is certainly isolated due to his extreme intelligence, most of the people who made an impact on him are nowhere near him in that respect. In fact, I'd argue Dazai isn't even looking for someone equally intelligent to him, unlike Fyodor (this would take another post to explain).
The man who means the world to him, Oda, is more emotionally intelligent and full of common sense, but definitely not his cognitive equal. You can tell a lot about a person depending on what they value: and due to this I believe that Dazai's main issues relate to emotional matters. He primarily feels isolated due to his emotional state, and his intelligence pushes the problem further. Otherwise, he would treasure people like Ranpo and Fyodor over guys like Oda and Atsushi: he's looking for something to ease his emotional pain. Dazai doesn't seek out raw intellectual stimulation as much as comfort/excitement. This post will be an analysis of how Dazai compares to the "average" psychologically and some of the reasons he may feel so othered. Basically, my theory is that the feeling of being "othered" comes from his emotional profile, as much as it comes from his intellectual capacity. Those two take equal parts in his psyche.
Why would Dazai feel so emotionally "othered"? I believe it may have to deal with a specific personality disorder or condition, and mainly how he experiences empathy. One of the possibilities is ASPD. Anyways, let’s look into common ASPD symptoms, and then we'll look into common behavioral patterns the character shows. Dazai is equal amounts portrayed seriously and in a “jokey” way, but his worst traits and moments are usually described without humor. To preface: Keep in mind that you can have any or all of these traits without it qualifying you for a certain disorder. It is the extent to which you show it that makes a person, like Dazai, out of the norm.
1. Repeatedly breaking the law: This one goes without saying, he was in the Mob as Young as 15, and seemingly a violent criminal even before that age. To differentiate him from other members of the Mafia, it is stated by tons of people throughout the story that Dazai was practically born for this job.
Oda in Dark Era:
He was openly murderous before the age of 15, according to both The Day I picked up Dazai and Fifteen:
Dazai and Oda interacting in TDIPUD When talking to Kyouka, it seems that he has an “interesting relationship” with murder as a whole:
One thing is for sure, Dazai is much calmer, calculated, and more Machiavellian than most criminals in BSD, and this all started at an extremely young age. Many people kill when they're young, but they're not this casual about it. The age at which he was this cold about would be of diagnostic significance.
2. Lack of remorse: Everything mentioned above, it is clear that Dazai has an even more complicated relationship with guilt and empathy. I’m pretty sure anyone in real life would consider him out of the norm, as it’s explicitly stated Dazai doesn’t feel remorse for all sorts of things he does, but there are some hints he is either ashamed of the way he is, or regrets his nature, but accepts it. What is particularly significant here is how young Dazai is when he shows a marked level of these traits. A key event that stuck with me is from the Dragon Head event in Mayoi (from my understanding it was written by Asagiri), where Shibusawa mentions Dazai will regret something (to me it sounded like he meant that killing Shibusawa will end poorly for Osamu). However, Dazai’s reaction was interesting – it was like he was almost amused that anyone would believe Dazai “could” feel regret for anything.
Mayoi Later down the timeline it’s quite questionable whether Dazai feels regret for some of his actions because he hides his feelings like a snake hides its legs, but there are implications he is somewhat remorseful if you read between the lines. More on that later. Dazai has changed compared to his past self, but to talk about that, and the extent to which he has changed would take a whole other post.
More on his lack of remorse, In “The Heartless Cur” Dazai is very young when he gets some randos from the Mafia killed in front of Akutagawa, yet his main emotions are amusement and boredom. This is not the “typical” emotional range of most people, even practiced criminals. For example, Chuuya kills people just like Dazai, but his reactions to it are entirely different.
from The Heartless Cur Murder tends to not be the preferred or first solution Chuuya goes for: there is an expected amount of hesitance if you read into Chuuya. He put a bomb below Chuuya’s and sabotaged Ango’s car without much bother. I’d say even if you do see It as a “means to an end”, the way he did it was really cold. Usually, when people of all kinds do bad things, they have remorse and empathy they need to suppress, but with Dazai we don't see much of that. It's like he can just "do it'. He’s also really great at torture, in Side B at age 15-16, he already describes himself as a “specialist”. This is also touched upon when he speaks to Kouyou:
No matter how "grey" a character is, torture is a very specific process that takes a particular psychological profile to pull off. To be a "specialist" at it, you definitely need to possess dented empathy. Lack of remorse and empathy does not mean a person is going to be a criminal at all - it simply opens the opportunity that they may get lost in those waters more easily compared to the average person.
3. Repeatedly being deceitful I’m pretty sure we don’t have to cover this one. Yozo, the character he was loosely based on, is a big liar, and commonly uses “clowning” to distract from his real personality. Even the real Dazai Osamu wrote extensively about the concept of “lying”. There is a lot to talk about Dazai and “masking”, and I’ll get to that in the second half of the post. Generally, Dazai lies a lot, one can’t even be sure what his personality really is. He lies by omission, manipulates, and intentionally deceives people without any issues. There are so many quotes about this that I’d probably reach the image limit right there if I wanted to reference them all. 4. Being impulsive or incapable of planning ahead Does not apply
5. Has difficulty sustaining long-term relationships: Dazai is famously a hoe. From “All women are his type” (and it seems he has zero issues getting together with any woman, young, old or even taken) to being known as “the enemy of all women” (said by Chuuya), it’s clear he is very promiscuous. Wan is in the gray area of canon, but in one of the earlier chapters he has so many love letters by different women that Atsushi burns them all. Kunikida said he hits on any woman he sees in the Entrance exam novel, which is further supported by random Wan! Chapters, silly crossovers, and everything else (literally anything female).
Not only that, but Dazai sounds like a consistently manipulative and toxic romantic partner. In an Otomedia interview, written by Asagiri, Dazai’s real type was basically something like: “Any woman is fine, because he is confident he can shape her to suit his tastes” which shows a remarkable lack of care for the personhood and individuality of his partner.
When answered what he’d do if his partner cheated or betrayed him, his answer was even more concerning. Depending on the translation, it goes something like: “He has not been cheated on, but he has cheated on others” or “he set up women to cheat on him/betray him” where both are a lot, just in different ways.
Either he is compulsively unfaithful, putting all above together, or he plays mindgames with his partners. He’s also told Kunikida that: “And from my experience, it takes only a smile and some kindness to get a woman swooning over you when she's fallen on hard times” painting an image of someone who takes advantage of people’s weaknesses to get what he wants.
Regardless, it’s clear he is very manipulative and likely emotionally abusive. I won’t even touch upon his obsession with double suicide. There’s also the fact that he seems to use sex to get what he wants – insert scene where he fucks the nurse to get his phone back.
Other than that, Dazai appears to be rather solitary. Ango and Oda are said to be “the only ones close to him” because they respected said loneliness. Even in ADA, Dazai seems to be professionally close to people, but very few people seem to know him on a personal level. I’d say he keeps people at a distance intentionally – before it was violently, later it is by being avoidant. For as much of a womanizer he is, there was that early comic where he spent Valentine’s Day drinking at Lupin “with Oda”, instead of going out with any particular person. I think this demonstrates how emotionally distant he is from all the people he interacts with
6. Being irritable and aggressive:
Dazai is not particularly aggressive, nor irritable, but he has moments where he slips. Tbh, reading back, it says a lot about Dazai’s character who he gets angry at and why. It’s important to say that when Higuchi calls him out on “Hollowing out the hearts of his opponents” in incredibly brutal ways, Dazai replies that he thinks “Sadism is just a method, and how it’s boring”.
Akutagawa is the receiver of a lot of his violence to a disproportionate degree. He beats up Akutagawa beyond what could ever be “just training”. There’s something that ticks him off about Akutagawa, which is interesting, since Dazai tends to not react this way to anyone who doesn’t touch him “intimately” in some way. A lot of people justify Dazai’s physical abuse by saying it is “training”, but it stood out to me how he kicks Akutagawa in the stomach even the first time he meets him in “Beast”, when Akutagawa is just an extremely traumatized and deprived kid he refuses to recruit. There is not much utility to that kick, to me. It felt personal.
Another example of him expressing anger is when people “called him foolish for wanting to die” – clearly he did not take it well since all of those people ended up dead. This is from “The Day I picked up Dazai” when Oda tells him he is a fool for wanting to die.
Other times Dazai expressed rage was in relation to Ango and Oda, particularly anything that related to Oda’s wellbeing.
He snaps at his subordinates when they tell him he shouldn’t be friends with someone “of such low status”, and the only time we really hear Dazai say he hates someone is when he’s torturing one of the guys who put Oda in trouble in the Beast timeline of “The day I picked up Dazai”. Obviously, he is resentful towards Ango and incapable of forgiving him. “Dead Apple” guidebook touches on it.
“Though they were once good buddies who used to drink together, to Dazai, Ango is one of the persons who caused the death of Odasaku. He still holds that resentment up to now, and is unable to forgive. Ango also seems to feel Dazai’s silent wrath towards him.”
Harukawa has said to pay attention to how cloudy the eyes of a character are to accurately interpret their psychological state. I don't think there are many times Dazai's eyes are drawn in such an extreme way - there is no "light" she talks about here. His eyes are pure black when he talks to Mori during the Guild arc.
He also agrees with Fyodor on “Malice being the best fruit that God Bestowed upon Mankind”
There is also this with Jouno:
Basically, Dazai rarely gets angry, insults don’t work on him (as he tells Chuuya), nor does beating him up, but when he does get irritated he flies off the handle and has no issue crossing any normal boundaries.
That detail is what stands out to me – usually, people have a line they won’t cross when getting mad, but for Dazai it’s like most moral lines disappear. Imo, his anger is for social standards over disproportionate in how far he’ll go and how he'll act on it– he usually has a clear intention to harm the individual he's mad about. In comparison, Chuuya is someone who gets angry more than Dazai, but Chuuya clearly has a line he won’t cross. There is also no pointed sadism in his reactions. Dazai will likely do almost anything.
Basically, it's not how much Dazai gets angry, but the way he gets mad that sticks out to me. Most importantly, Dazai only ever gets enraged if it concerns something very personal and intimate: Oda and his death, his suicide attempts etc. At this point, for me, It’s safe to say that if Dazai gets extremely angry, it means the topic affects him on a deep level (a hint to whatever Is happening between him and Akutagawa, I could talk a lot about that).
More on Dazai’s unpredictable and violent nature:
Stormbringer I think there is a valid argument in seeing Dazai’s aggression as just a tool he uses to keep others at bay, something to hold over people and control them – but even then, it shows a marked disinterest in social norms people usually respect.
7.Having a reckless disregard for their safety or the safety of others This one builds upon all the others. However, it’s always been interesting to me how it’s clear something flies over Dazai’s head when it comes to regularly empathizing with others.
This is often seen with Chuuya. In my opinion, most of the bullying Dazai gives Chuuya is not motivated out of rage, but rather some form of spite. He goes at length to Rimbaud about planning Chuuya’s murder in “15”, then he also lets Chuuya be tortured in “Stormbringer”.
I am under the impression he sees these moments as “amusing” and doesn’t fully emotionally understand why this is something bad, even if he does on a rational level. I’ll say that Dazai did seem to show some rage whenever anyone hurt him physically in the past (seems likely to be a hint to a traumatic past), which Chuuya did when they met, but I don’t get the impression he is generally angry with Chuuya, it’s more like he just enjoys fucking with him. Ironically, for how rarely Dazai gets angry, it seems he reserves his rage/irritation exclusively for people and things he cares about, so Dazai being specifically irritated at Chuuya is just a sign of how much the guy gets to him.
If Dazai were angry at Chuuya, it is in character that he would try to hurt him a lot more than he does. However, I'd say Dazai has a blurry space for what's ok between "keeping someone purely safe" and "deeply hurting them". There is some lack of emotional empathy there - to him, it is more amusing than anything to see someone he finds interesting struggle.
Dazai sees boundaries differently. He’ll put people into danger or through discomfort without worrying much, especially if he’s sure they’re going to walk and live after it, but sometimes not even that. (there’s so many examples of it). I’d say it’s not that Dazai doesn’t care, he just cares about people differently compared to what we’re used to socially.
Regarding personal safety, it’s pretty obvious: he’s a suicide maniac, but even more, he also puts himself in harm’s way all the time without any anxiety present. Examples are when he provokes that sniper in Dark Era (when Oda gets angry at him and wants to punch him), knows he is going to get shot by Fyodor, but lets himself get hurt anyway. When he “dies” in 55 minutes, he seems “lightly” surprised, but there’s no strong reaction to it. To me, it seems that the only physical harm he dislikes is pain he suffers from another person (when he doesn’t plan it). Dazai apparently doesn’t feel much “anxiety” – I remember many different times when he comments on another character’s timidness or meekness, seeing it as something unusual.
8. Behave irresponsibly and show disregard for normal social behaviour He’s extremely eccentric, and even Ranpo says he doesn’t get him. Dazai asks women to commit suicide the moment he meets them, and often attempts suicide around people even if it distresses them (Entrance exam).
While I think he made this excuse in Dark Era to Taneda because he didn’t want to work with Ango, I do believe he believes what he said: “You’d lose your job if I did that.” Dazai wryly smirked. “I don’t like places with lots of rules.” Not being able to accept conventional rules is very often a telltale sign of a personality disorder. Clearly, Dazai fits many of the criteria necessary for having ASPD, so let’s look at some other details that are common for people with ASPD.
Masking: In psychology and sociology, masking is the process in which an individual camouflages their natural personality or behavior to conform to social pressures. Masking is common with many disorders, such as autism, ASPD etc. I am pretty sure it’s canon Dazai masks – on a BSD exhibit, the key element Asagiri wanted to talk about in Dazai’s personality was related to this.
“When I describe Dazai to the staff, there is a phrase that I always use, “an unworldly being with a mental age of two thousand years.” Dazai has far surpassed the mental dimension that human can reach, thus no-one can even tell if the emotions he shows are the real things or not.
There are rare moments when that Dazai shows his very “human” side. That is when he talks to another superhuman who is on the same level with him. The other is when he talks about his old friend who has passed. This is the scene when Kyouka wondered “Maybe I’m, after all, just a murderer at heart.” and refused to be saved. And Dazai’s reaction to that. When he said “Don’t give me any of that!” here, he really meant it. That was an outburst from Dazai, as a 22-year-old boy, in this scene.” Light novels often describe his smile as fake, mask-like, and I could probably find 20 panels where Harukawa clearly drew him to intentionally seem like a fake smiler. From “15” to “Entrance exam”, Dazai often drops his mask, and then goes back to acting silly just to make the other person relax. He does this with everyone, Mori, Kunikida, Atsushi, etc. Chuuya also mentions that Dazai’s “happy-go-lucky” personality in ADA is something new, and he believes it doesn’t fit him.
Kunikida says this in the Entrance Exam: "For someone so full of eccentricities, there is something about his behavior that makes it seem as if he has an unobstructed view of the world. I don’t know exactly why, but all his emotions strike me as an act to some degree. Is he just playing dumb? Could there be more to him than he’s letting on, lurking behind his ambiguous mannerisms?"
More than anything, Dazai himself says that Oda was the person closest to seeing his “real” personality. That pretty much confirms he keeps his real self hidden away. I’d say that there are several possibilities to why this is: He hides it because he dislikes being vulnerable, he doesn’t know how to act “normal”, people are unable to understand him, so masking makes it easier for him to communicate with others…there’s a lot of theorizing I could do here.
Dazai also tends to have interesting thoughts about personalities as a concept.
You’ll commonly see Dazai say something serious, followed by a severe reaction of the other character, ending with Dazai changing his demeanor and saying “just kidding” to lighten the air.
Manipulation: Dazai is extremely Machiavellian – he is prone to manipulating everyone around him, regardless of how much they care about him or not. He manipulated Chuuya into joining the mafia, he does the same with Akutagawa even today: Here we have him preying on Aku's insecurities to sabotage his self-confidence
He seems to be able to cut off his emotions from any situation, seeing people in a raw, factual sense.
There are several moments throughout the novels where Dazai talks about people as if they’re purely resources or pawns. An example of this in Dead Apple (where Chuuya gets angry because he doesn't respect people or show enough sympathy)
The way he speaks of Atsushi, when asked what he thinks of him in a guidebook, is something like “developing as expected”. Especially in the original, it sounds extremely factual, mechanical, and cold. To me, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about Atsushi, he’s just the type to compartmentalize his emotions in opposition to his thinking. This is very common for a few personality disorders and mental health conditions: the capacity to totally cut off your emotions from the equation. Obviously, many people are capable of doing this to one extent or another, but the amount to which he does it is what makes it significant.
Lack of traditional empathy: Personally, I think everything comes down to this. Dazai's experiences with empathy are one of the main themes of his character arc. I believe one of the things that makes him feel othered is his lack of emotional empathy.
People with ASPD tend to have issues experiencing what a lot of people consider “typical” empathy – however, ASPD is also on a large spectrum, so experiences certainly vary. Keep in mind that "lack of empathy" is common for all sorts of disorders, but since ASPD seems to be one of the most popular choices for Dazai, I decided to start there.
Before we continue, there are 2 types of empathy: Cognitive empathy is the ability to recognize and understand someone’s feelings and experiences and imagine yourself in those scenarios. Emotional empathy is experiencing shared emotions with someone or feeling emotions as though the experience is your own.
People with ASPD can commonly do the first type easily, and struggle with the second one. It does not mean they cannot experience emotional empathy, it’s just rarer for them to feel it. In my opinion, Dazai heavily relies on Cognitive empathy compared to Emotional empathy.
You can see often that he seems to not entirely understand “why” something is wrong on a personal level, but he can logically see it. This is a running theme, and you can commonly see that Dazai doesn’t fully understand “normal”.
“15” Asagiri seems to be writing Dazai as someone who has gone “beyond the human dimension” in his skills and intelligence, so other people can’t fully understand him, but I think this goes both ways. Dazai has lost touch with what’s the standard human experience.
One of the times Chuuya specifically calls out Dazai for not "acting human-like" is when he's not expressing empathy and respect. It is clear that Dazai's lack of empathy is one of the aspects which make others see him as "inhuman".
There is another situation with Kunikida during the Azure Messenger arc where Dazai seems to apologize for not getting something “is normal”, it slips by you very easily. It is framed as a joke, and it can be read as him making fun of Kuni, but Kunikida asks himself why Dazai apologized. It does read a bit unusually.
To me it seems like Dazai doesn’t fully emotionally understand other people, so when his mask slips you can see that he struggles a ton with getting what’s exactly “typical”.
Because Dazai is extremely intelligent, he masks in order to fit into society, and he does it successfully since he can intellectually understand most social and emotional functions and processes. However, he slips up like everyone does. This is why he got along with Oda well – since Oda just let him act like himself without having ulterior motives. Dazai didn’t have to “mask”. He didn't see Dazai as "just anyone", but he also realized Dazai was human. Basically, to Oda Dazai was a kid that had empathy issues, but he was struggling much like everyone else.
Personally, I feel like Dazai doesn’t feel entirely “human” because he doesn’t feel “emotional empathy” on the same level as other people, and this is one of the key issues of the character (as it's clearly stated in the Dead Apple manga, where Dazai does seem a bit upset by Chuuya's reaction)
. The reason he felt “seen” by Oda is because Oda fully recognized this and still believed Dazai could do “good”. In our society, it is common for people to think that "empathy" and "sympathy" are conditions for being a good person, but it isn't so simple. The possible complexity of Dazai's moral state is why I find the character so interesting - a person without traditional empathy choosing to be good is really fascinating. (more on this later).
Boredom and general emptiness: “Boredom” is an extremely common complaint for people with ASPD – in fact, intense, non-standard boredom, along with other symptoms such as atypical experience with empathy, is one of the easiest ways to recognize ASPD. A “numbed” emotional state is common for people with ASPD, and due to their different emotional range and inability to connect with others in a more typical fashion, they are prone to “boredom” and seeking out extreme experiences.
Alcoholism/Substance abuse is common for people with ASPD, and it’s pretty much canon Dazai drinks a lot (alcohol is even in his likes). Aside from that, Dazai often cites boredom as one of the main reasons he wants to die, and I remember so many instances where he complains about it in bizarre circumstances. This is common for people with ASPD: depression/suicidality is comorbid, and I have heard people with ASPD mention they wanted their life to end once they no longer have enough stimulation. Dazai is often stated to be “bored”, or look bored even when extremely horrifying things are happening (people dying around him/telling their life stories..). An example with Mori where he talks about wishing to die (from 15):
Another really funny thing, a lot of people with ASPD I have seen tend to dislike “dogs”. Obviously, this hatred comes from the real life Dazai being scared of them and thinking they can attack at any moment, but it’s a funny coincidence. They tend to dislike dogs for an entirely different reason than Dazai does, to be fair.
How Dazai seems to see himself and morals in general
Generally, to me it seems like Dazai is not entirely happy with his nature. He admires Oda and doesn’t understand why he wouldn’t use his talents to rise up in ranks within the Mafia, simply because that is logical to Dazai – perhaps it is that difference between them that he enjoys so much. He is frequently attracted to displays of empathy:
Examples: 1. Ango documenting the deaths of people within the mafia even if it’s “just a waste of money” 2. Almost everything Atsushi and Oda do
He often describes altruism as “interesting”. I am also under the impression that Dazai has a tendency to project his nature onto others, which we can gather from his “Evil expects evil from others” quote to Mori. Furthermore, he sadly remarks in Dark Era that he is “a man despised by righteousness”. so I feel like there is something up here, some sort of guilt, distaste or shame.
This tells me:
a)Dazai sees himself as “evil”
b)He is constantly assuming the worst in others or is prepared for the worst
Another thing this tells me is that Dazai is someone who is likely extremely wary of people’s intentions. This is a ubiquitous theme all across BSD, especially when we see him as a kid. Osamu tends to be skeptical of everyone and everything, as if he’s waiting for people to betray or fuck him over at any corner. In TDIPUD, he keeps getting upset that he can't figure out Oda, since it makes no sense for him to be so charitable for absolutely no reason. Oda said “good and evil are the same to you” – personally I interpret this as Dazai being largely amoral rather than immoral. Whether Dazai can be described as “good”, “evil” or “neutral” largely depends on your view of ethics. Just because someone lacks traditional empathy, it doesn't mean they are necessarily sadistic or bad at all. Immoral and Amoral are two words that sound similar but have different meanings. Immoral is an adjective that describes “something against pre-established morals, ethics, or standard societal practices.” Amoral, on the other hand, is an adjective that describes “something or someone completely lacking morals.” In common society, if you’re not “good”, you are often automatically “evil”. Basically, a person who has "no morals" is just as bad as a person who has cruel beliefs, but those two fundamentally differ. However, in a technical, utilitarian fashion – this is often seen to be true. More or less, “good” is the neutral state, and the more you step away from it, the more “evil” you are perceived to be. The more moral conventions you break, the more "evil" you are, regardless of your intentions. The results of the actions matter more than the source and motivations. In the end, a person is dead, regardless of why you killed them or how you felt about it. The reasons why people do conventionally moral things can be all over the place too - people aren't always kind because they have sympathy. When I hear “evil and good are the same to you”, it sounds like Dazai has no need for either, meaning, yes, he has no inherent need to do good, but no need for bad, he is simply not opposed to either of them. Regardless of what he's doing, he feels the same way. They're both tools to satisfy particular needs. Many people read this and say "aha, so if he sees no difference between the two, that means he is evil", but I think the truth is in the middle. I always say that to estimate Dazai's moral framework, you need to judge him outside of normal conventions. Basically, his starting point in making decisions is different. He begins his process likely by thinking "what will this bring me?" Most of his “evil” is not out of pure sadism, it’s just that he feels no need to stop himself due to moral conventions, he mostly cares about practical results. This is opposed to Kunikida who cares about ideals and morals in a vacuum and pursues them in their most idealized version (and it's well known Asagiri writes duos as opposites). Entrance exam as a novel was about how idealism can lead people to ruin when it's unrealistic.
He’s naturally immune to socialized pressure that forms the moral frameworks of most people on an emotional level. All of this is very common for ASPD, and a few other conditions. The more I see Dazai talk about how he sees the concept of personality, murder, morality – the more I am convinced his ethical framework is focused on results rather than the inherent morality of said actions. Example: He's going to lie to you to make you happy, even though "lying is bad". There is no inherent value in staying honest if it makes an individual miserable in the long run, even though society sees frankness as a virtue. That way, most actions are “open” for Dazai to undertake, he has no qualms most people have against them, since he doesn’t have socialized morals. A lot of the time, we only see certain things as "unconditionally bad" because we've been socialized to see them that way, even if it's not necessarily logical. He simply lacks socialized morals, leading to a tendency to be amoral. Everything is a means to an end, every action is alright if it's a tool that has more pros than cons. Oda's death was a useful character arc, since it led Dazai to taking Oda's moral framework as his own. He doesn't believe he is better than others, nor does he enjoy hurting random people, he doesn't kill or rob randos to get something and believes he is justified in it. Things of that type would make him “immoral”. Most of Dazai’s evil actions seem utilitarian, rather than committed for the pure act of pleasure or cruelty. When I say “amoral”, I mean this from Dazai’s point of view. Since he has no “moral boundaries”, all actions are open for him to undertake. He can go as far as he wants to any extreme largely depending on his subjective worldview and feelings (as seen in Beast, where he breaks all sorts of ethical codes of being "a good man" so Oda could get a decent life). However, since he is aware that there is a fight between good and bad in every person, and that evil tends to win out compared to the good, under enough pressure, he admires people who selflessly continue to be kind. That is why Oda, a highly moral person even beyond what is logical (his insistence to not kill even if it harms him) is the opposite that pushed him to change. Ulterior motives tend to be something Dazai is worried about in people, perhaps because he is possibly projecting all he is, or can be, on others. He describes Oda specifically as:
"a man who has no ulterior motive". Oda is obviously being a good person partially out of self-interest ("people live to save themselves"), but this self-interest is not destructive. I think for Dazai, it was difficult to find people who didn't have an ulterior motive that was ultimately hurtful, and he projected that onto everyone. Oda acting in his self-interest was ultimately beneficial to everyone. All in all, while Dazai does admire Oda's morals - I think a lot of this appreciation comes from an intimate and subjective place, where he feels comforted someone like Oda even existed. Continuing Oda's work is likely an extension of this as well. Keep in mind, any person has the right to see Dazai's actions as bad, as they often are. I am more speaking of Dazai's internal mental framework. Conclusion: Dazai has no inherent need to do good or bad, for the most part. He just goes as far as he needs to to satisfy his emotional needs.
Oda saved Dazai’s life in the day I picked up Dazai, and listened to him, but expected nothing in return. I feel that Oda saw this struggle within Dazai, and the way “good and evil don’t mean much to him” due to his disorder, but recognized that Dazai perhaps didn’t want to be this way.
Since Oda saw Dazai’s “irregular” nature, and still believed he could be a good person, Dazai was touched and decided to change his life. I believe Dazai had some distaste for himself, regardless of his lack of empathy, he could recognize what he was doing was not entirely right. As Asagiri mentioned, Oda told him exactly what he needed to hear, and the fact that these words were so life-changing to Dazai tells us a lot about what he had on his mind. In my opinion, to see who Dazai is, you need to follow exactly which words got to him.
In my opinion, it likely meant a lot that a person he actually admired wanted to be in his life, especially a person he considered so kind like Oda. He often says that Oda is “the most interesting person he knows”. Imo, this is because “empathy” is one of the things Dazai doesn’t fully understand. He had to learn it. Since he understands human nature so well, cognitive empathy comes easy to him, but he still fucks up sometimes.
Here, I also feel like he is talking about himself – he sees himself in Kyouka. It doesn’t come naturally to Dazai to be “good”, but he is trying his best, that is his ideal now. (Asagiri said this was one of Dazai's rare human moments). For that reason, I think Dazai admires empathetic people and tends to dislike those who are naturally violent, or even choose to be violent out of sadism.
On the BSD exhibit, Asagiri said Atsushi was "an empathy user", and how that is the key to his character. During one interview, the author mentioned that Dazai keeps testing Kunikida's ideals, but Osamu secretly hopes that Doppo will prove to be right, and Dazai wrong. This to me paints a picture of someone who hopes that "good" is worth it, at least from an intellectual point of view. When talking with Fyodor, he seems to admire people who live emotionally, thinking god doesn't prefer perfection, logic and harmony.
"The ones who actually make the world run Are those who scream in the storm of uncertainty and run with flowing blood"
Dazai seems to reject the idea that him and Fyodor and better because they are more calculating and cold - like I mentioned earlier in this god-forsaken post, this to me says Dazai believes empathetic and emotional people are better than him.
"I've come to see it many times, his gimmicks are the accidental and illogical that's a weakness two of us have in common" He suffers because he is not like them, and that contributes to him feeling "othered".
Negative emotions and Akutagawa
My guess is that one of the reasons Dazai has so many issues with Akutagawa is because he is projecting his own issues with his lack of empathy onto him. This makes him relate to Akutagawa, but also dislike him beyond how he usually treats people. Akutagawa questions why Dazai's acts of violence are justified, while Osamu is judging Akutagawa: to me it sounds that Dazai sees his actions as at least partly justified because they are "logical" and utilitarian. He puts a difference between him and Aku, as if Dazai's natural instinct is not to mindlessly hurt others. However, it's interesting he needs to draw this line.
I believe Dazai sees a lot of the hurt he enacts on others as either "justified" or subconsciously defensive. "If I don't hurt others, they will hurt me", and he uses this against all kinds of people to keep them in control. In the Dark Era novel, Dazai speaks of Akutagawa like this:
“When I first saw him over in the slums, I was horrified. His talents are extraordinary, and his skill is extremely destructive. Plus, he’s stubborn. If I’d left him to his own devices, he would’ve ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself.” Interestingly, Dazai was "horrified" at what Akutagawa was capable of, where most things don't seem to exactly phase him. I think something about Aku's capacity for violence even scares him, and he "lashes" out in response to control him.
Later on Oda calls out Dazai's thinking indirectly in Beast, saying that hurting Aku is still bad no matter why he did it. (more on this in the next section) However, it’s very clear he cares for Akutagawa in “Chopsticks and a Spoon”, so I do feel like he’s likely aware of it. In fact, that story contains one of the gentlest expressions Dazai has pointed at anyone, so I think he partially sees Akutagawa as "innocent" in nature, and more like a wounded animal. I'll likely write a post about it. Since Dazai has expressed some lament or even shame regarding him being a person "hated by righteousness", I do think he is a bit ashamed of who he is. This part is a theory: When talking about "No Longer Human", Asagiri mentioned that he felt the book was about "embarrassment". Since Dazai is canonically famously based on Yozo to some extent, I feel that we can guess that Osamu likely does feel some shame - the question is about what. The rare times we see BSD Dazai express something similar to shame is when talking about his moral nature (when he beat up Akutagawa in Dark Era), but it's a "blink and you'll miss it" type of thing. Yozo and RL Dazai's relationship with his father was one of the cornerstones of his work (NLH even ends with him mentioning how he would have been alright if he had a better relationship with his father). Within the book, Yozo feels all sorts of things which make him feel "inhuman", but he is terrified about being open about it due to his strict father who sees him as somewhat strange. Since the theme of "fatherhood" was lightly touched upon when Atsushi's orphanage director died, I do think this is potentially a sore spot for BSD Dazai too. My guess is that Dazai likely had a poor relationship with his father figure, who saw him as "strange" or "inhuman" due to the way he acted: leading BSD Dazai to feel shame over his nature. Perhaps one of the things that made his father see Dazai as inhuman was his lack of typical ethics and empathy. Osamu internalized this - and ended up becoming a criminal at a very young age, perhaps in an attempt to confirm what hurt him, seeing himself as someone who could mostly do bad (which could be one of the reasons he wanted to die so young). Perhaps Oda making a way for him to "act good" was life-changing because of that too - it targeted a specific wound. All of this is speculation, but Dazai did mention that "self-pity leads you to living a life that is an endless nightmare". My guess is he was talking about himself there: and his own experiences with shame. To extend this: I think one of the reasons Dazai is so harsh on Akutagawa is because he is possibly projecting his relationship with his father onto Aku. Akutagawa is violent and troubled, and Dazai was shamed for the same thing. (but it would take a lot of time to work through this theory, so moving on..)
Dazai exhibiting empathy However, Dazai does show empathy for Oda, and a lot of it. I’d go as far as to say that he over-empathizes with Oda, while he underempathizes with everyone else. His relationships with the people closest to him tend to be why some people think he may have BPD. Especially due to devaluation and the "favorite person" concept. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation. A FP is a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes. For Dazai, this is Oda. On the other hand, In the context of BPD, “devaluation” refers to a psychological defense mechanism or coping strategy that individuals with BPD may employ in their interpersonal relationships. Devaluation involves a shift in the person’s perception of others, where they view someone they previously idealized or held in high regard as unworthy, flawed, or worthless. They become unworthy of their affection and praise. The person with BPD may engage in behaviors such as intense criticism, verbal attacks, withdrawal, or even cutting off contact with the person they have devalued. These actions are often driven by the individual’s fear of rejection, abandonment, or a desire to protect themselves from potential hurt or disappointment. For Dazai, the clearest example of this is Ango. However, a person can exhibit the "favorite person" and project the phenomenon of devaluation without having BPD. In my opinion, Dazai does show heightened polarity in his feelings toward others, but I am not sure if BPD would be my choice for him. It's very difficult to say, as many conditions mask as BPD, and Dazai's expression of empathy is unique.
Dazai idealizes Oda, and deeply sees his pain as his own, while he always frames Akutagawa in a negative light, even though he is likely one of the people Dazai cares about the most (next to Oda, Chuuya, Ango, Atsushi, especially according to Beast). Another example of his heightened negative emotions are Ango, and Chuuya to a much lesser extent. My guess is that Dazai doesn’t deal with caring about people well, especially when they are any sort of “threat”: which is why he tries to “bully” them down. The reason he goes easier on Chuuya than Akutagawa is because he feels Chuuya is in his nature more sympathetic.
In my opinion, the moment Dazai warmed up to Chuuya was when he realized that The Sheep were pushing Chuuya around: he was no “King of the sheep”, he was acting out of empathy and care. Since Chuuya is so powerful, it was likely admirable to Dazai that he didn’t abuse his abilities for self-gain. This is when he decided to isolate Chuuya from the Sheep: and I think the reason above is specifically why
I'd say Dazai is likely "spikey" to anyone he cares about but has less confidence they won't hurt him. There are two camps of people: 1. Atsushi, Oda, Kunikida, Sigma (generally upright, meek, moral at the end of the day) 2. Chuuya, Akutagawa, and lastly Ango (people who are aggressive, challenging, and need to be put down in Dazai's eyes).
He cares about both camps (Sigma is debatable, I spoke of the type of personality Dazai seems to deal with easily in his case), but he likely feels "less safe" with the second type. Mori could potentially go into the second camp - there is some respect and resentment there at the same time. He even talks about this with Kunikida in Entrance exam.
"“I guess. But you, Kunikida, I’ve got a good idea of who you are now, so nothing you do will ever surprise me. I mean, compared with me, you’re just a simple man with a simple mind, after all.”
See? You wear your heart on your sleeve. You don’t hide how you’re really feeling. It’s nice. You know what else is nice? Just knowing that you’re going to be worrying later to yourself, ‘Am I really that simple?’”
“Why, you—”
But I refrain from arguing. Whatever my response, he’s just going to end up telling me, “I knew you’d say that.”
I suppose that being around Kunikida comforts him since he is predictable, yet kind. On the other hand, someone like Chuuya excites him, because he is wild and challenging enough, but is still a good person when it comes down to it. Basically, Dazai is hypervigilant of pain.
Akutagawa is “off the chain” in comparison to all of them. I am under the impression that Dazai can care about people without treating them well at all, and 2 of the people who are at the top of his list (Chuuya and Aku) are people he “seems” to dislike (In Chuuya’s case rather openly in his profile).
It appears that the more “intense” and “unpolished” parts of Dazai’s personality are strictly reserved for people he cares about, but he is extremely selective about who he shows emotional empathy to as it’s such a rare experience for him. He may capable of "cutting off" empathy to protect himself emotionally. It is quite clear some aspects of empathy miss him broadly in Beast, when he appears shocked that Oda would react so strongly to endangering Akutagawa since “it’s all supposed to end well if he survives”. That sentence itself is totally tone-deaf, yet Dazai is acting as if Oda is supposed to take that normally. It’s quite clear that Dazai doesn’t treat Atsushi all that well in Beast either, as he exploits his fears for Atsushi to be totally obedient to him.
I really like this moment, because it demonstrates that even if Dazai does have some point regarding Akutagawa and the way he goes about things, the way he has treated him is still too much – and Dazai can’t exactly convince Oda, a decent person, why this is ever justifiable under any circumstances. There is an aspect of regular empathy that misses Dazai – it doesn’t cross his mind why his actions are inherently bad. Perhaps it is possible that Dazai was treated with little to no empathy growing up, so he accepted that as a model for acceptable behavior. A lot of the time, cruel actions don't seem to even register to him as bad, in an almost innocent way. It's like it doesn't cross his mind that stuff is out of the ordinary. When talking to Oda about this, he was described as "childlike".
However, Dazai shows a lot of extreme emotional empathy for Oda, which tends to be rare for people with ASPD (obviously, all traits of it are on a spectrum).
Dazai clearly feels as if he himself is being beaten when Oda suffers. Furthermore, “Beast” shows that he is willing to endanger multiple people he cares about so Oda could live and write his book. In his words “the me from other worlds doesn’t care about the world” – showing that even though he may “care” about people, it’s really hard for him to fully emotionally connect with others.
This leads him to severe feelings of loneliness and isolation, but it’s quite clear Oda is the exception to this.
Dazai has multiple anxiety attacks when meeting with Oda in Beast and TIPUD:
“I see.” Oda says after he gives it a moment of thought. “I’ll do so then. That is very kind of you. You are a good guy.”
Dazai’s expression becomes distorted.
He opens his mouth, and closes it again, as if he can no longer breathe.
If he tells him everything now, maybe things will go back to how they were. The two of them will go to the bar together and have a toast. Just like that night.
“Odasa…”
Just as Dazai is about to say that name, a train passes by. The express train passing through that station cuts through the silence of the night, right next to where Dazai and Oda is."
and obviously the whole showdown at the bar. Earlier, Oda mentions that Dazai looks like he is about to cry:
An interesting part here is that Dazai gets shocked that Oda would even consider that Dazai could hurt him:
It almost sounds absurd that Dazai, who is known for scheming even against people he likes, would be that surprised someone would expect this from him. This, to me, shows that Dazai does have that underdeveloped, childish emotional side to himself, where he doesn’t understand everything he does. It’s quite logical why Oda, or anyone else, would be consistently doubtful of Dazai, yet he is so used to not caring about anyone, that when he does feel things he is remarkably unpolished and just as illogical as anyone else. I’d say his heart is like a knife that went blunt from lack of use. Since he has no experience dealing with people he feels strongly about, it always comes across very messy – and Asagiri himself often describes him as childish at his most vulnerable.
Furthermore, the lyrics of the song for Beast have these words to say: “Loving you to death won’t kill me Because I don’t love this world enough” And in the Beast novel, he mentions all he has to give to the world is love. I think we can certainly see that Dazai is not emotionless.
To me it seems like Dazai is capable of selective emotional empathy. I feel like one of the reasons Oda was “the one” Dazai attached himself to the most, is because Oda was a struggling man who was also depressed (rather clear the more you read), but he was empathetic and accepted Dazai for who he was.
Him and Dazai had difficulties in common (the guy was a killer as a kid too), yet Oda did his best to be a good person – that is one of the reasons, as Asagiri mentions, why he had an “outburst” when Kyouka implied former killers can’t be good people. Oda was a good person in his eyes, and his role model of “empathy”: someone he wished to emulate. I am pretty sure that Oda became the blueprint for the moral compass he strives towards.
Most importantly, Oda didn’t really judge Dazai when he showed his lack of empathy, while he remained firm in what he believed in.
“Odasaku is the type of person who will never lecture anyone. Because he does not consider himself a superior person who can teach and guide others. However, it doesn’t mean that he has nothing he wants to say. The sentiments that he couldn’t convey in these two scenes were finally delivered to Dazai in the last scene through the words “Become a good person.” Very meaningful scenes when read as a set.”
is how Asagiri described Oda during the exhibit. As Asagiri says, one of the reasons he didn’t tell Dazai anything when he provoked the sniper was his modesty. Since Oda didn’t look down on him, yet showed concern and fully understood Dazai wasn’t just a struggling depressed kid, but someone with serious issues who also happened to be a child – Dazai grew to deeply care for him. Oda didn't shame him, likely avoiding Dazai's hypervigilant sensor for pain.
Selective empathy is common for many disorders – and Dazai, after not feeling “seen” his whole life, ended up making a true connection with Oda. I guess, in that sense – Oda was the one who really reached Dazai’s heart, and since he was the only one who came that close, all of Dazai’s emotional empathy is reserved for him.
In my opinion, the reason Dazai was so difficult to “get to” was that even people who had good intentions toward him never truly saw him.
To see Dazai as a depressed woobie who just needs to be saved is to idealize him – which wouldn’t exactly help him. They’re talking about a version of him that doesn’t exist. If the only way he could be seen as worthwhile was someone seeing him as more “traditionally good” than he truly is, it’s not going to work. He needs to be seen for exactly who he is, and still given a chance to be better.
Likewise, it had to be someone who wasn’t helping him in order to get something from him. I would say that one of the main reasons why Dazai got so attached to Oda was because his friend had no reason to save him, he gave him space, and didn’t even force himself into Dazai’s life.
It was purely altruistic, and for Dazai, who expects the worst from others and seems to fear people’s intentions, this was perfect. One of the main aspects of Dazai's character is his anxious-avoidant attachment style, where he is likely so afraid of potential pain, he pushes others away, or punishes anyone he cares about who might hurt him preemptively. A lot of this is not impulsive, but calculated, which is why he feels a natural resistance to Akutagawa (but relates to him and cares all the more because of it). He understands the self-destructive nature of Akutagawa.
"If I’d left him to his own devices, he would’ve ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself.”" I believe Dazai likely allows himself to fully empathize with Oda because he feels only Oda is "safe" in this world. The fact that Oda is dead and gone perhaps makes caring for him even safer, as his image of Oda will never change.
Conclusion: I'd say Dazai is someone who is probably extremely traumatized, with a specific emotional profile that doesn't allow him to experience empathy like normal people do - and this is one of the defining traits of the character for me. He is able to isolate himself from normal social pressures and boundaries - and because of this and his extreme intellect, he feels like an alien in this world. A lot of his struggle likely deals with the fact that he dislikes the hurtful person he is, but has difficulty seeing why he should be better - all while he has a distaste for sadism, cruelty and senseless violence in others. In my opinion, a lot of his own cruelty is "reactive": he acts "evil" because he expects the same from others ("evil expects evil from others), and decides he wants to beat them to the punch. He is comforted when he is in the presence of altruistic and empathetic people, because he doesn't have to be what he dislikes (as "enemy" evil will always make him react since he is threatened). In the end, he rationally sees that cruelty is negative, but he still feels it is an effective tool. If Dazai weren't this way, he wouldn't consistently choose empathetic people for his company throughout the story, while acting callous himself most of the time.
A lot of things Dazai does to me feel like he is avoiding hurt, or attempting to "control the pain" he gets in his life. Notably, Dazai mostly lets himself get "bullied" by people he sees as innocent and simple like Kunikida, since "Kunikida will never surprise him" - he knows that Doppo won't cross the line. Ironically, he famously says he "dislikes physical pain", but often gets himself into physically dangerous scenarios.
It's like he doesn't mind pain if he's the one in control (when Fyodor let the sniper shoot him, when that dude from Mimic shot him point blank). Avoidance of pain and control are other keys to Dazai's character. In that sense, I think Dazai was possibly traumatized and learned to almost completely disassociate from empathy early in his life. There are so many theories I could think of here that we'd get nowhere.
It is clear that Dazai is capable of extreme emotional empathy due to his relationship with Oda, and it's possible he doesn't allow himself to feel it in most scenarios due to his avoidant nature regarding pain. However, whatever the reason behind it, it is clear he doesn't feel a ton of emotional empathy in his day-to-day life, and this disassociation from empathy has crafted him into a person who doesn't fully understand "normal humans".
That is why he sees them as fascinating after Oda dies - he reaches Dazai's heart and opens him up to the idea that not all people are unempathetic and cruel - meaning Dazai doesn't always have to be on guard. Does Dazai have ASPD, or is his lack of empathy a result of other things: PTSD, CPTSD, is he perhaps autistic? I can't say for sure, as it could be so many things. Personally, anyone could make an argument for any of these in my eyes. Above, I mostly analyzed his displays of empathy and tried to study which emotional patterns he appears to follow. I think Dazai's character arc has a lot of worth specifically because we see someone for whom emotional empathy may not be natural trying to be good. It's a unique ethical dilemma, and that's one of the reasons I feel in love with the series. Since it isn't natural for him, his efforts mean a lot, and the struggle feels real and genuine.
Thank you all for reading if you made it this far <3 I've taken a lot of posts and translations I've gathered over the years, and I am sure I won't be able to thank everyone, but, I'd like to show appreciation for popopretty, aja154ever and many others for sharing info from exhibitions, databooks and so. Have a nice day !
