okay so please hear me out here, this has been in my head since we found out Guillermo can’t really truly be a vampire (due to his van helsing genes). I’ve heard theories that Guillermo could be some type of energy vampire but personally it just doesn’t sit right with me, so here is my alternative.
First of all, do you remember the witches who used semen spells to stay young forever? What if Guillermo, who already has a link with those witches and continues to keep in contact with them regularly and most likely at this point has at-least a rudimentary understanding of how the potions are made, ends up as a witch/wizard?
Guillermo takes/is given the recipe for the immortality potion by the witches, uses it to stay alive forever and be with Nandor and the other vampires, and to finally be a part of the world he’s always loved (though not in the way he’s truly wanted, but I feel he would come to terms with that and end up enjoying not having to kill people to stay alive).
And! Though this bit is NSFW (but what part of that show isn’t), Guillermo could either cut ties with the witches or become friends with them (get Nadja some more female/femme friends too so she can watch Mamma Mia with!) and get the semen for himself from Nandor. Be pretty easy if those two end up together (THEY BETTER) and become a thing, because as much as I love to head cannon characters as asexual, those two are not ace. So honestly it’s a win win WIN situation!
Now this could be totally wrong but it’s been stuck with me for months and I thought I’d atleast share it with some people! Let me know if this makes any sense at all, and if you have any questions on the logistics of how this would work that I did not explain! <333
I apologize for calling Macklemore cringe
Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later
Hozier and Will Wood are the same person in different fonts, not only within their song titles, but as well in the messages hidden behind those titles.
In this essay I will…
I'm trying to prove something.
I wanna start with the fact that I do not agree with the people saying “this butchered fives character!” nor do I agree with the people saying “Oml this ship is so perfect!”
truly, I think five and Lila make sense. But not quite in the couple way?
I mean, I adored watching the two of them play chess or help with personal hygiene or cook/eat together. But with the context of sexual and romantic tension, kinda ruined it for me.
because, well, it just felt rushed and weird. We see very few scenes of the two intersecting in this way, and when we do it’s in brief flashes and later on during some weird pout of fives on the subway! So to say I felt like I had whiplash from their relationship is an understatement.
the whole cheating thing is a whole other level, because personally anyone who is a cheater is disgusting and immediately someone I hate/dislike (of course there are some, very very few, instances where I can forgive or at least understand the cheating). And that is no different for five or Lila, because I think both are horrible for
1. Lila cheating on Diego with his BROTHER (adopted but still!) no less! And I get it was 7 years BUT she still wanted to get home, she still had hope, doesn’t that extend to her husband? I know they were fighting and Lila wanted to take a break, but unlike with Rachel and Ross who were dating, A BREAK IN A MARRIAGE IS NOT AN IMMEDIATE DIVORCE! So please, stop saying it was all perfect! Cause it was not. Diego and Lila would have probably broken up despite the fact that I and many others wish they wouldn’t (both are too stubborn for couples therapy, probably), but only after that would it have been better for her to start pursuing five in that way, and vice versa.
2. Five abandoning all regard he may have for Diego. Like I get it, it’s 7 years, and Diego may not be your favourite person or even someone you’d be okay with spending extended amounts of time with, but he’s still your brother (adopted or not!). And by gosh, doesn’t that count for anything?! I get it, you and the one lady who understood how your situation works we’re stick for 7 years with only eachother, but dude, she’s MARRIED to your BROTHER with 3 KIDS! (At least I think there’s three, I really only know the name of one of them………) Cmon…
truly, this season could have benefitted from this, I think five and Lila are cute. But idk, maybe give us some more time with them? (I understand they had less episodes, but we also got like 20 minutes worth of Klaus just flicking a lighter in a grave! Love y’a Klaus, sorry!) Or just, hmmm, I’m not sure, make it platonic? Or maybe make the two kiss and then have that epiphany of “oh wait! I still have a husband!” And “my brother is your husband!”. And then have them be all weird about it, let the fanfic writes squeal and add on to it or whatever they want, and not traumatize the other majority of fans who fully do not and cannot support the ONE ship that is pedophilic both ways!
I’ve got so much more to say on this, but I’m tired and I truly could care less.
all in all; if you don’t like the ship, don’t interact with content about it. If you like the ship, don’t interact with content bashing it. It is a VERY controversial ship, and while I say “whatever floats your boat”, that does not mean shove your opinion in other peoples faces.
everyone needs to grow up, and everyone needs to understand that this is what we got, and this is what we’ll continue to get. Do or don’t read the fanfics (there are so many) that endorse and give SO much more attention to these two (five x Lila), and leave it be!
sorry about all this! I’m just so tired of seeing this sh*t everywhere, there are so many more pressing matters in this seasons writing, timing, spacing, and overall execution! Cmon guys, leave the ship thing alone and focus on how they just said “your trauma and everything you’ve endured to get to where you are means nothing. You have to die for the world to be a good place. You are the thing that is wrong. The world never has and never will need you.” cause WHAT THE HECK
reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something
So many people do not understand the relationship between climate change and cold weather.