Question: If I Choose To Identify As A Sapphic, And Taking My Time To Understand My Struggles With Saying

something happened and im really sad and also happy.

happy chinese new year to all, but YOU GOTTA READ THIS.

for more than a year (3 yrs almost), i’ve done a self diagnosis on myself with spd (sensory processing disorder) and adhd (few others too)

the man took an hour late to arrive but LOL

went to this place and told the man about how i’ve been bullied and what was going on. so i obviously didn’t say i was gay but my mom did bring up how somebody was gay and was bullying me as a gay person (smart man knew i was gay from how I went 😝✌️ along with saying the word “gay” but he didn’t make it obvious until my mom looked away and he smiled and mouthed “yes good im proud for you”).

since i get extremely uncomfortable when they kept talking about my ASD so then i felt like crying cause yk mental health issues + illnesses, etc shit being exposed and almost cried (they never knew bc i never made it obvious but my eyes watered under my hoodie), and yk I felt really really sad than my mood was today.

THEN THE BIG NEWS CAME.

since you never knew i was neurodivergent, i’m gonna let you know.

i didn’t know HALF of what he said because he spoke fast but

i managed to catch half (idk if half atp cause he got LOADS of diagnosis for me but it was too much and he spoke really really fast)

HE WAS FRIENDLY BUT

i FUCKING KNEW. that the spd was right. I WASNT SURE BUT HE SAID I HAVE IT. YESSS A REAL DIAGNOSIS.

he said im diagnosed with asd, adhd, spd (sensory processing disorder), tics (not like tourettes but he did say something WILL cause me to tic but it’s only anxiety that will cause it a few times but if it gets worse, i must tell him) + my anxiety will cause me to tic (like shivering and form different tics but its not like tourettes that people ACTUALLY have).

he also said my auditory sensory processing disorder as well (+ with sensory processing too), he said i had something sensitivity (idk what it was because he spoke REALLY fast) but i think he said sensory or sensitivity disorder (if you knew what it’s called, PLEASE lemme know).

stuttering disorder + high functioning on asd + low functioning on adhd (lemme know if functioning is out of date or not) and some other stuff.

BUT I GOT AN OFFICIAL DIAGNOSIS GUYSSSSS

i’ve tried to find the “congratulations on the neurodivergency cake” but I found this.

congratulations to me on my further neurodivergent diagnosis :))

absolutely satisfied

life is so good right now

been dying to know the sides of my moms family but I know too much of my moms side and still want to know more, so we agreed to the 23andme kit and now we r waiting for the results which takes 5-6 weeks

but once of my uncles, are updating us about digging our family tree and right now, he is saying there is too many mixes in my dads family

bro said that. MY DADS side. has senegalese. swiss. italian. spanish. sweden.

thats the most recent we found and my dad sadly died so I couldnt get to ask him anything.

but being italian and spanish is shocking because he did make me visit his spanish side. my mom said EVERY time she is in that mfing house she IS ALWAYS seeing a flag that has red white and green. she didnt know what that was. but like. ITS THE WAY I WAS THINKING ABOUT VISITING SWITZERLAND AND WANTED TO LIVE THERE in the FUTURE and then boom, a gene has been found.

i love being mixed

yesterday i found 3 stripes of rainbow.

Someone shouted “omfg a rainbow!!” and i FREAKED out

then on my left, 5 stripes, my right, another 3.

at the back behind me, i saw 2.

then it faded away.

although + at lunch, i found 2 again then at home to leave, i found 2 at the window, and another one at night.

IT WAS RAINING THAT WHOLE ENTIRE DAY YESTERDAY LMFAO

happy seychellois day to all my seychellois people who are in a country that is also an island in the ocean !!

happy independence 🇸🇨 🇸🇨

how is the switch 7 years old

gonna listen to more lgbtq songs on my way to work <3

YESSSS GAYSS WOONNNNNN!!!!!!! /pos /pos /pos /pos

NO WAY TEAM SWEET WON??? THATS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE HOW

i know I’m not someone who shares my sexuality on here but I need help.

I really need some supportive comments and some help.

Please follow me and do help me.

I really need help because I've been struggling and I feel like I should seek out now.

Warning: this is kind of a let out but a rant so please help me and don’t be rude.

And I'm still new to tumblr so I'm sorry for my post history.

I'm trying my best here I can't try much and I'm trying.

I'm a kpop fan page on here so please help me.

I can’t tell if im a lesbian or bi.

I can’t seem to help staring at girls nowadays and I keep brushing off my feelings.

Today I saw this girl and she's so cute.

I so badly wanted to say hello but I was scared. In my mind, I wanted to badly be her friend. Like so badly. I kept looking at her until one point someone called my name and since I wasn't paying attention, they touched me so when they did, I got scared. My heart jumped out my chest so I snapped out of the thoughts quickly. But looking at her is just a dream like I wanted to so badly say hi but I couldn't. I had no time.

I don't feel any interest in men. I was walking around men lately and I didn't find anything interesting as I used to when I was younger. Nowadays when a guy would talk to me, I would get excited but I wouldn't find myself to date him. I was nervous but no butterflies in my stomach.

I've been wanting to kiss my friend ever since we first met ( a week ago ) and now I'm just like, every time we talk, I just always thought of kissing her.

I sometimes feel bad and deal with negative thoughts with this whole thing and sexuality because I can't tell if this is real or just a lie.

I feel like I'm still straight or I'm lying.

I really wish I could be together with a man but now I can't and I feel bad because I feel like I shouldn't be this way. I really wish I could be with men as what my family are expecting but now I can't.

Sometimes I'll be like "men <3" as I used to do when I was growing up and younger (In reality still but not anymore now?) but now I'm like "girls so pretty" , "I wanna be her partner"

I can't tell if im a lesbian who's experiencing comphet (which is valid) or a bisexual struggling.

I just wanna be with a girl but at the same time I'm scared.

+ I would always stare at a girl's butt or her upper part and then look away so she or anybody doesn't notice.

One time I stared at her for about an hour at her upper part.

I dont know what was there satisfying. But I dont know how to explain my facial expressions when it happened.

I would make a face like my eyes widening and then my mouth opening, then I would be like "oh my god.. her .. ahhh" under my breath in this whispering voice or like mouthing (covering my mouth though or something) then be focused on it.

Or look at her butt and be like "oh wow, that's.." like I can't help but stare there.

When I spoke to her, my fingers weakened and she understood that I was nervous.

When she hugged me I immediately panicked (in my mind) because I was so close to her upper body.

I just.. it's getting too much.

I don't know what I am..

Lesbian experiencing comphet or a bisexual with a lean ???

I feel like a bi with a leaning but this attraction is something else.

I just wanna touch her. No one understands me. So I need help with this if you don’t mind ?

Anybody who's bi or lesbian, please reply.

I can't explain properly but I tried.

Please leave a comment and help me out.

I'm lost.