I Was Today Years Old When I Learned That When You Type “otp: True” In AO3 Search Results It Filters

I was once in this old English play called Emma in high school. There is this one scene where two characters are on a carriage with one guy pulling them around. Well someone in the crew didn’t move one of the chairs from the previous scene. So the guy pulling the carriage is trying to make his way around the stage while trying the avoid the chair left in the middle of the stage. It became known as the phantom chair.

In the same play on our last show everyone decided that we had nothing left to lose and improvised everything to hell and back. I was playing a larger than life character called Mrs Elton. In one scene I take the beloved chair of the main character’s father. The thing is the guy who plays the father is one of the funniest theatre people I know. So when I took his seat he proceeded to try and fight me. My best friend playing a different character is holding this man back. So the audience is seeing an old man kicking and punching air being held by another dude while the woman who took his seat is completely unaware. The audience was losing it with laughter, and it was taking all my self control to not look behind me or laugh.

But I think the funniest interaction I ever had for this show was offstage. The guy who played my husband was this extremely bulky and muscular football player. While backstage he told me “I’m warning you now that most girls tend to fall in love with me.” My response? “You don’t have to worry about that I’m a lesbian.” His face immediately lit up and he said “Oh! Okay!” I think that actually helped us act like a husband and wife because he didn’t need to worry about me reading into him being very extravagant while being my “husband.”

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”. 

You’re an ancient Greek man coming home from 4 months of war to find your wife 3 months pregnant. Now you’ve embarked on a solemn quest: to punch Zeus in the face.

Guys do u know that one meme where there's a girl and like a bodyguard (???) ordering drinks and the waiter give them the wrong drinks so they switch them on the last panel,???????? BECAUSE I C1NT FING IT^

why is your cat green?

She’s built different 😌

My whole childhood has been a lie.

one of the nice things about heterosexuals i never see talked about on here is that they haven’t already heard all your gay jokes yet. i just really appreciate having a new audience sometimes for my completely automatic responses to phrases like ‘i’ll be straight with you’. so, shoutout to all the innocent hets out there who have a genuine giggle over lame quips that a fellow queer would groan and hit me for. ilu guys.