I Really Wanna Get Out Of This Kurti Version Of Me

“People don’t believe what you tell them. They rarely believe what you show them. They often believe what their friends tell them. They always believe what they tell themselves.”

— Seth Godin

Mantra.

Even the wounds that you were certain had

been healed seem to be torn apart and cut wide open again. You will feel

small and insignificant but all at the same time unbearably heavy.

For once, I feel.. listening to mom's advice would be a better choice

There are a few moments where I spend time with myself.. when my thoughts take over there is some heavy feeling in my chest, I become an unknown person, I feel like staying in isolation and breaking things and scream out loud...since I'm unable to do all those.. I scream without a voice and hands began to crawl over my face , I act like a mentally ill person , I feel like scratching my face, hitting myself, I just feel like destroying everything, my hands and legs crumbles and most of the time I scratch my face , I cry quietly. What is happening with me

Well the question is "why are you sad when you get home??"

People say, stop thinking about things that pains you. It's your time at home with your parents, enjoy , have fun, spend time with them.

Well I am sorry , I tried but I can't. I ain't that person even after several trials. I am not trying anymore .

I am home. In my space where I can breathe , I can talk without people judging me. I am alone with my vulnerable self. I am sad, trying to feel my pain.

I am feeling things deeply. If I am going through something that is uncomfortable or painful or hard, I am allowing myself to dive into those emotions or allow myself to numb them. I don't wanna kill my pain through television or spending time with friends or Instagram. I chose not to protect myself from pain because it demands to be felt . Pain demands to be felt . Coz I feel it will show up in other ways if I do not deal with it now.

I'll be fine, I will be.

“Don’t hold on to someone who’s leaving, otherwise you won’t meet the one who’s coming.”

— Carl Gustav Jung

Okay baaaaaai

Go back to what u were doin Darling!

“When someone gives you a rare insight into their life, do not repay that gesture by betraying their trust.”

— Dodinsky