My Gripe With This Perceived "God" Stated Eloquently.

That's another thing I've noticed about feminism. There's a heavy focus on mother's needs and wants because they're the "creators" of every nation/country. Most of those mothers aren't even feminist (whatever that means anymore) and are still attached to XY partners. There's hardly ever been a focus on young women and girls, single women, child free women, spinsters, etc. Just women and girls who have opted out of or are not entirely a part of the world's machine.

Most mother-worshipping communities seem to only value the woman's presence as an incubator. Young girls are therefore dismissed from all praise and consideration until they reach their menstrual cycles. Only then is society hell-bent on uplifting them as baby makers in the making, not as individuals with the potential for actual empowerment. Young girls can't foresee a future without an XY because modern feminism has always been teaching them how to complain about circumstances that were avoidable for the most part. Their mothers have used feminism to complain about their own mistakes - heck, most of those young girls were their "mistakes" - then project those mistakes onto their daughters, telling them they won't do any better. That's practically the generational "curses" taking place. They're birthed with their mothers wanting them to suffer too (if they weren't wishing for a son the whole time, that is).

what made you move away from feminism, if you don't mind me asking?

My personal desire to do so. I'm not going to blame the movement. The more time you spend around women, the more you realize how male-centric their aspirations are. Opting out of reproduction and sexual gratification is oppression to them. Feminism is about making women's lives with men more palatable. I believe that attraction to men is oppressive, let alone acting out on it. My life started improving in earnest once I completely distanced myself from men and the women who made me doubt my judgement, cue feminist circles. Women are either unaware of what men are - read this book - , or thoroughly unintelligent because emotional fulfillment can absolutely be substituted. Women's pursuit of male affection is that of potential debasement and endurance. I say, why endure at all? If you cannot comprehend this question, we are unlikely to understand each other.

I found this document called "The Asexual Manifesto" and thought it was interesting in how it addressed asexuality amongst women in some 1970s feminist groups:

The Asexual Manifesto (1972) was recently found by Caoimhe Harlock on Twitter.  It is available as a pdf.  I have transcribed it below for better accessibility.  The format mimics the original, except for the placement of the footnote on the first page. The Asexual Manifesto was also excerpted in Shere Hite’s book, Sexual Honesty (1974); I have separately transcribed the excerpt and noted what was left out.  Feel free to use this in any way.

--Siggy, 6/22/2019

I wrote an article explaining some of the context of the Manifesto. --Siggy, 8/9/2019

The Asexual Manifesto

Lisa Orlando, Asexual Caucus, NYRF *

* In September 1972, the Co-ordinating Council of New York Radical Feminists formed caucuses based on similarity of sexual orientation.  Each caucus was to explore its members' personal and political attitudes about their sexuality and communicate these views to the larger group.  Barbie Hunter Getz and I realized that we would not feel comfortable in any of the proposed caucuses (heterosexual, Lesbian, bisexual) and formed our own.  Out of this caucus came a paper of which the “Asexual Manifesto” is a revision.  That the paper’s plural form has been retained does not imply that all the views expressed in this final version necessarily reflect the views of both the original co-authors.

I. Origin and Definition.

Our experiences with sexuality have not been congruent with our feminist values.  As our consciousness became raised on this issue we began to see how sex had permeated our lives and the lives of others.  We categorized our relationships in terms of sex ----- either friends or lovers.  We engaged in a "sizing up" process, however subtle or subconscious, with each new person, accepting or rejecting her/him as a possible sexual partner even if we never intended to become sexually involved.  We arbitrarily rejected whole groups of people as unsuitable for intimate relationships because we assumed that such relationships, by definition, necessarily included sex.  Often we chose to spend time with people simply on the basis of their sexual availability (the “bar scene”).  As we became aware of this in ourselves, we became painfully aware of how we were being objectified by others.

Asexuality is an outgrowth of this consciousness.  It is a concept we have come to employ out of the wish to communicate ----- not merely through being but also through language ----- our struggle to rid ourselves of sexism in our personal lives.

In this paper we have used the terms “sex” and “sexual” to describe any activity one goal of which is genital excitation or orgasm.  Physical affection and sensuality (including kissing) are not, by this definition, sexual unless they are directed towards the goal of genital excitation.

We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad.  “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”.  This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression.  Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.

II. Philosophy

Our philosophy of asexuality grew out of our personal ethics, which have been reshaped by our feminist consciousness.  To us, as to many other women, feminism means more than the fight against sexism.  It means "sisterhood" ----- a new way of relating, perhaps a new way of life.  Feminist morality, at this stage in history, can only be defined as antithetical to the oppressive values of our society (e.g., competition, objectification).  On a personal level, it is reflected in our beliefs that: we should attempt to relate to others in their totality as much as possible and not view them as objects existing for the gratification of our needs; we must not exploit others ----- that is, use them “unjustly or improperly” ----- nor allow ourselves to be exploited; we must not be dishonest with ourselves or those we respect.  In addition, we believe that we each have the responsibility for examining our behavior, determining how it has been affected by sexist conditioning, and changing it if it does not meet our standards.

As feminists we had decried the sexual exploitation of women by men without seeing that we too had used others “unjustly and improperly”.  Interpersonal sex is not an instinctive behavior pattern; it is behavior we have learned to use for the satisfaction of a need (for orgasm) which we can easily satisfy for ourselves.  We came to see this use of others as exploitative and realized that in allowing others to use us in this way we were acquiesing in our own exploitation.

In our attempt to be honest with ourselves, we tried to determine what our real needs are.  We saw that we have needs for affection, warmth, skin contact, which we had been taught to satisfy through interpersonal sex.  As we began to satisfy these needs in our "friendships," our need for and interest in sex diminished.  We also realized that we had a need for intimacy, a state we had always seen as "completed" by sex.  In retrospect, we realized that we, and others, had used sex as a means of self-deception, as a way of avoiding real closeness rather than achieving it.

We had struggled against our conditioning in many ways, especially in terms of roles, but we had avoided examining the basic conditioning which had shaped our sexuality.  It is difficult even to speculate on the nature of "ideal sexuality" (uninfluenced by sexism) but we are certain that it would not occupy as much of our lives as it does in this society.  We live in a culture of "fetish-worshippers" who regard sex with an extreme and irrational amount of attention.  Just as many of us were conditioned to direct our energy into the preparation of lavish meals, creating a fetish out of a simple need to avoid confrontation with the emptiness of our lives as women, so we were conditioned to seek sexual satisfaction in convoluted and circuitous ways.  Since our involvement with feminism, our lives have been increasingly meaningful and we no longer feel the need for fetishes.

In examining our experiences relative to our values, we have come to asexuality as a stand and a state of being concurrently.  Interpersonal sex is no longer important to us, no longer worth the distorted and often destructive role it has played in relationships.  It no longer defines our relationships or in any way constitutes our identities.  As asexual women, we do not (1) seek, initiate, or continue relationships in order to experience interpersonal sex, (2)use others for the satisfaction of our sexual needs or allow ourselves to be so used, (3) attempt to satisfy other needs (e.g. for affection, warmth, intimacy) through interpersonal sex, or (4) perceive others according to their potential, or lack of it, as sex partners.  In essence then, our asexuality reflects a rejection of interpersonal sex as long as it cannot meet our conditions: that it be both congruent with our values and totally incidental and unimportant to our relationship.

III Politics

Basic to the liberation of women is the destruction of sexism, one manifestation of which is the sexual exploitation of women by men.  Asexuality is a step towards achieving this goal at the personal level, as it eliminates one means by which men oppress us.  Through our asexuality, we have excluded sex as a goal and, essentially, even as a possibility in any relationships we may happen to have with men.

Because of the patriarchal culture which has resulted from institutionalized sexism, the exploitative behavior, standard in such a culture, has made it extremely difficult for women to realize their own independent, more humane style of relating.  Most women consequently reflect, in their relationships with each other, some of the exploitative behavior patterns characteristic of our male oppressors.  One area where the oppression of women by women may occur is, again, the sexual; this oppression too must end before we can be truly free. Through asexuality, we have rejected sex as a goal in our relationships with women, thus avoiding the sexual objectification, exploitation, and oppression of our sisters.  Here too, we reject any possibility of sex unless our conditions are met, and we thereby prevent ourselves from being sexually exploited and oppressed.

To destroy a particular culture’s basic myths is to undermine its very foundations.  Patriarchal culture, based as it is on sex differentiation, has constructed some of its strongest myths around sexuality.  We believe it is of prime importance that feminism direct itself to the exposure and destruction of the current patriarchal mythology which, through deception, reinforces our oppression.  Those myths most responsible for the distorted role sex plays in women's lives are:

Interpersonal sex is essential since the sex drive is a powerful force in human life and, if unsatisfied (through interpersonal sex), tends to produce unhappiness or possibly illness,

It is important that any sexual excitation always and/or immediately be satisfied,

Sex is essential for closeness in a relationship, no relationship being complete without it,

The ultimate closeness in a relationship occurs during sex and/or orgasm,

The needs for physical affection and sex are basically the same,

It is almost impossible satisfactorily to express affection physically without sexual excitation also occurring,

Women who have little interest in interpersonal sex, or who rarely if ever reach orgasm, are somehow inadequate.

While all these myths may not be credible to all women, some women believe some of them some of the time.

Finally, we see a conflict between, on the one hand, the time and energy necessary to our struggle as feminists, and, on the other hand, the time and energy necessary to develop and maintain relationships in which sex is a goal.  If we would use our energy efficiently, a choice seems indicated: to struggle against sexism or to struggle for satisfactory sex.  Although it may be said that to turn one’s back on a problem is not to solve it, we think the truth of this statement is relative to the importance one places on the problem.  If we saw interpersonal sex as important, asexuality would be a cop-out; since we do not, it is instead a means of withdrawing our energy from an area in which we feel it is being wasted.  

We see asexuality as an efficient "alternative life-style" for revolutionary women but we do not claim that “asexuality is revolution.”  We call ourselves “self-identified women” but we do not demand that all feminists adopt this title.  Our statement is simply this: as a result of examining the nature of our sexuality and reclaiming it from the sexist misconceptions surrounding it, we are able to form and maintain relationships in a way which both reflects our values and is effective in our liberation struggle.  For us, asexuality is a committment to defy and ultimately to destroy the baseless concepts, surrounding both sex and relationships, which support and perpetuate the patriarchy.

"What will you do if you don't have friends, a relationship or a community when times get rough?"

The problem with this way of thinking is the amount of effort I have to pour into a black hole, for an undisclosed amount of time, out of fear. Not out of love or genuine connection. Today, almost every relationship is created out of fear or lack therefore it is a counterfeit connection. I have to invest hours per day/week talking to somebody about nothing so I have a HOPE that they will bail me out one day. I'd rather use that time to practice the art of remaining in a positive state of pure consciousness; commit to the Great Work of restructuring my mental patterns so I can create what I want at the moment I need it. To depend on somebody, who isn't even a real person but an amalgamation of identities that they think we share, is Soul-death. In other words, I don't plan on my life imploding nor will I use somebody else's life as an example of what could happen to me. If I must engage in useless pondering, I will always use constructive examples, not destructive ones. All I can do is remain in the present moment and take each minute at a time and I will always choose my happiness right now over a past trauma or future anxiety.

"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends."

— Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Evolving is about progress, not perfection. Evolving is also a crossroad; an urgent feeling and necessary call to transform now. As we learn from our failures and convert them into our lessons of greater fortune and future possibilities, we evolve.

We’re are here to grow and develop into our highest potential, to build in gratitude, to give more of our selves, and to raise the vibration of the world for the light beings that will come after us. If we refuse to be open to the ever-expanding Universe within and around us and all that it has in store, the unproductive patterns and lessons will repeat. We will continue to stay in the same meaningless situations, unfulfilled relationships, and limited perspectives that lock us in repetition.

There is so much more for us on the other side of ‘repeating our same patterns and routines’. What areas in your life are you being inspired to step up and evolve in or through? •SupaNovaSlom

Josephine Baker (June 3, 1906 - April 12, 1975)

An American-born French dancer, Josephine Baker grew up in poverty. Between the ages of 8-10, she was out of school, helping to support her family, taking on jobs such as cleaning houses and babysitting for white families.

At age 16 she was touring with a dance troupe from Philadelphia. In 1923 she joined the chorus in a road company performing the musical comedy Shuffle Along and then moved to New York City, where she advanced steadily through the show Chocolate Dandies on Broadway and the floor show of the Plantation Club. In 1925 she performed in France at the Théâtre des Champs-Élysées, where she introduced her danse sauvage. She went on to become one of the most popular music hall entertainers in France. In 1936 she returned to the states, but despite being a major celebrity in Europe, was not accepted by American audiences, who referred to her as a “Negro Wench”. So she returned to Europe.

In the late 1930s, she became a French citizen, and performed in several films before WWII halted her career. During the German occupation in France, Josephine worked with the Red Cross and the resistance, passing along secrets she had heard from the Nazis to French Military officials, after performing for them. Passing along said secrets by writing with invisible ink on music papers.

In the 1950s and 60s, she returned to the US to help the fight against racism. She refused to perform for segregated audiences, which forced some club owners to integrate their clubs. She also began to adopt many children of different nationalities and races, calling them “The Rainbow Tribe”.

Josephine was an amazing woman, who worked hard and did so much for the world, and we love her here. 💜

Extra Trivia

Josephine was a bisexual who had an affair with Frida Kahlo, the two having met in 1939.

In 1963 she was one of the few women allowed to speak at the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom

Her opposition against segregation and discrimination was recognized by the NAACP

Unusual for her time, she was a woman who never had to depend on a man for financial stability, and was more than willing to leave a bad relationship (her first marriage only lasting a matter of weeks)

Addressing my Shadow Self

Western culture thrives on creating a victim narrative for anybody who goes through a difficult period in life.

We are much more resilient than we give ourselves credit for; the most traumatizing thing that has happened to all of us is experiencing birth. We got through it as infants back then, and we can get through our traumas now. The difference is now we have incorporated our traumas as a part of our Selves instead of taking it as a lesson.

During my childhood, I had a run-in with a teenager who must've been put through a traumatic experience along with other questionable moments I won't detail here, but that along with the rest of my life was an initiation into the person I am now. Only a self-absorbed person would think they're the only ones who have ever felt pain and demand the world stop and acknowledge their pain.

If I dwelled on that time in my life, I would've been developmentally arrested, trying to make sense of something that isn't supposed to be made sense of by my conscious mind.

I’m a firm believer that there was something in me that attracted that situation. Looking back, my thoughts were fucked up, yes, even as a 9-year-old, so I got what I deserved. Everybody has been through some type of initiation by the time they're adults, you are not the only one who has experienced something negative in their life. Not everybody is interested in making noise about a disturbed person doing disturbing shit. Sinister occurrences are normal here.

Our youth doesn't protect us from the perils of the world; cosmic intelligence has different rules from human intelligence. Everybody is treated equally, even the cutest animals will get cooked, so humans aren't protected from the same fate. I'll ask once again: what makes one person special from the next? Really, tell me. We all go through life so we can empathize with each other’s perspective on the world. If you don’t want any experiences, why are you here?

When you become obsessed with your trauma, there is a higher chance you will want to recreate and relive it to make sense of it and there is no shortage of people who are waiting around to help you do that.

This is mutual abuse and this lowers the vibration of the planet and guess what? You're no longer the victim especially if you procreate. When you're trying to "make sense" of a moment for 20 years and you're running through multiple partners, trying to find the one who can give you that moment over and over again means there's a part of you that likes getting hurt. Seeking pain is your shadow’s will; your shadow wants to go through certain experiences so it can make itself known. The longer you ignore your shadow the most hostile its takeover.

Those who do not make their trauma their identity and have healed tend to be the ones who understand the purpose of trauma; it's to wake us up to the truth of this world and behave accordingly.

Trauma is supposed to leave an imprint on you so you operate in truth. That trauma was for you because you have a specific purpose you could not possibly fulfill until you experienced that. Nobody else has to relate to it, and nobody has it worse or better than you; trauma's purpose is not to compare yourself to others because you really have no idea what other people are going through. The point of your trauma is to learn to have unconditional acceptance of yourself and the world regardless of what happens. It’s to let you know you cannot change the world, but you can change yourself. Half of the battle people are fighting is their own narcissism... that they shouldn't have to learn anything here like the rest of us; they truly think they should be here to rest, eat fruit and have a community take care of them. Trauma is our wake-up call.

You are not going to have a good time here unless you learn this place and how to navigate it.

A lot of people cannot cope with this truth which is why they come up with labels and futility try to protest the Earth's cycle. The years of truth in everybody's life is 27-33, this is also when many people take their life. If you're in this age range and you still haven't gotten the memo that you're on a polarized planet, you should be placed on suicide watch until you get it.

When it comes to the shadow, most people want the persona without the darker parts of the human being. Everybody is giving each other ultimatums to change instead of just removing that person from their life. You cannot tell somebody to change the course of their life they wanted to go on, that's for them to experience. People threaten each other into following "The Right Way to Be" and then they have the nerve to talk about "love." Love doesn't exist when you cannot accept somebody's shadow. When women start threatening males about dying alone (and vice versa) because males didn't follow the script, that is not love. I'm of the opinion that nobody needs to do anything. We have choices and making somebody do something unnatural to them or lying about their capabilities is hatred.