Latest Posts by hatsunevitu - Page 2

the thing i like to headcanon for kyman is that they can always, no matter what, rely on each other. and they will be there for each other at worst moments ever possible.

when cartman’s mom goes to hospital in a very serious condition, the first and only person he tells about it personally is kyle – because he knows that despite their mutual hate and rivalry kyle will always be there when shit gets really bad. he won’t be just emotional support – he’s the one person to actually start helping and saving his friend in trouble, he’s the one to hug tightly and then slap cartman’s face so he doesn’t get too depressed.

and it’s mutual because kyle knows that even though it’s not the most logical choice, but once he gets in real trouble, cartman will be the first one he goes to. cartman will help to deal with the most fucked up situations and after he literally saves kyle’s ass, he will never shut up with stupid jokes and teasing kyle for getting in such stupid troublesome circumstances. and kyle will take both that and “you owe me now, kahl”, ‘cause he knows cartman will get serious again and help with anything in the future if anything else happens.

they can rely only on each other when things seem to be worse than ever.

also since im kyman obsessed (wow who would’ve thought so) i now have kyman earrings check this out

guys i just walked into my room and saw this…….. do you think it’s a date?

guess who has kyman plushies now

in s17e1 “let go, let gov” it was confirmed that cartman usually talks on his speakerphone and now i truly believe that’s how he and kyle revealed their relationship to other guys. because one day cartman (as usual) put the conversation on speakerphone when kyle called him without giving it a second thought and kyle casually said “Hello, honey” while stan and kenny were standing next to cartman. and then there was this moment of silence.

guess who has kyman plushies now

istg if kyle having a crush on heidi in s21 was mattrey’s real intention, i’d be so disappointed. like. they know how to write about relationships, feelings and crushes, but the attempt to make kyle be in love with cartman’s girlfriend is either a very self-conscious and intentional kyman proof, or the lamest romantic plot EVER created.

i, personally, am not really into stan getting into kyman’s way and trying to stop them from dating, but it seems to be one of the most popular trope for stan in kyman fics. and although i can see the appeal, i prefer another option.

please think about stan who’s actually helping kyman to get together.

so cartman has a big and (as he thinks) unrequited crush on kyle, and he decides that the fastest and most effective way to win kyle’s heart is to get stan’s support since stan and kyle are the best friends. and if you have stan by your side, you can say that half of work here is done.

and as a professional manipulator cartman convinces stan into helping him – he plays the “i’m on my meds & went through therapy” card, he says that stan is the one who gotta understand how broken heart and unmutual feeling hurt, that it’s almost their prom and cartman doesn’t have enough time to hit on kyle properly – and who knows, maybe they won’t even be in touch after kyle enters the university, so cartman has only one chance. he swears on his life he’s never gonna hurt kyle, and he flatters stan by saying he always hated him the least out of all the boys.

and stan as a hopeless romantic and sucker for stories with unmutual crushes finally gives in agreeing to help cartman. bonus if wendy is totally into this idea because a) it’d be amusing to watch them having their drama; b) she supports gay rights and wrongs; c) she think that kyle would be like a good influence for cartman and could “fix him” (my girl has never been so wrong in her entire life)

so they all start a whole new project for making kyle consider cartman as a proper romantic partner.

cartman: Okay. You have to invite him to the cinema BUT you will dump him at the very last minute so he’ll have to go there with me. What movie should we choose?

stan: Uhhh… There’s a new DC movie?

cartman: DUDE! Even I know he’s more of a Marvel fan.

stan: Well, I’m- I’m not supposed to memorize his preferences by heart, you know!

cartman: You’re his best friend?????

btw stanman and candy bonding over there :333

so wendy and stan help him to plan the whole dates, but the minor problem is that they have veeery different understanding of the romance.

wendy: The best way to win his heart and make some obvious hints is to take him out for a romantic dinner in the restaurant!

stan: No way, Kyle’ll hate that! Take him for a basketball game, he loves basketball.

cartman: …Can’t I just invite him to watch “The passion”?

wendy&stan, indignantly: CARTMAN!

cartman: What? It’s symbolic!

so they end up convincing him that kyle is never gonna like cartman if he doesn’t hide his true self, so he has to pretend a lot. he hates this idea, but eventually agrees and starts faking his behaviour being all nice, polite and kind-hearted, but every time their dates become a mess. and kyle seems to react veeery negatively, because even though he thought he wanted cartman to change, and he’s supposed to be happy that cartman is finally acting like a decent normal person – deep down he can’t get rid of this vague feeling that something is wrong, that he’s faking. and it irritates him so much he gets more and more angry and yells at cartman almost every time, even though there are no visible reasons for that.

and one day cartman just freaks out because he’s tired of faking, and if kyle doesn’t like the real cartman, than fuck him. and he finally asks him out the way he truly wanted – with mean jokes, rude behaviour, they just go to kfc and then sit at home watching dumb horror movies in cartman’s bedroom. and that was the first time they kissed – the first time in a long time when kyle saw cartman’s real self. and oh boy did he missed it.

guys i have literally nothing to post... so for the sake of my artblock i found old (-ish?) riddlebird sketch that gave me lots of thougts on oswald being a dad bird and ed being just a terrible step-dad for all gotham kids (its embarrassing for him to deal with children bc he can only offer them a bunch of encyclopedias. he is a lame dad)

FINE FINE I SHOULD JUST— STOP TALKING FOR A LITTLE WHILE. SORRY GUYS HERE IS YOUR NYGMOBBLEPOT ART

i like the idea of interactions between craig gang and main 4 so much. and i honestly believe that in high school the “mediators” between these two groups are tweek and kenny, since kenny is close to literally everyone in the class, so he hangs out with craig really often, and tweek kinda kept the childhood friendship with kyle and sometimes hangs out with stan and cartman.

and they couldn’t not notice how craig and those guys really despise and try to interact as little is possible with main4, meanwhile stan and his friends avoid hanging out with craig’s gang as well.

and none of them seems to really remember why they hate each other and why didn’t the silly little rivalry in the elementary school end when they grew up – so tweek and kenny decided to dig a little bit deeper and find the origins of this conflict, and after a week or two with the help of indirect questions and some bottles of wine for stan they finally discovered that craig and stan were dating back in middle school, but now they’re exes.

and it all finally started to make sense now :D

when kyle was 16, his parents (mostly dad) decided that he had to understand how money are earned by hard and honest work, so they cut off his pocket money and gave him an advice to finally find a part-time job. kyle didn’t mind it much, so after a week or two of choosing the right option he decided to stick to something as peaceful and less stressful as possible, so he chose to get a job at the local library as an assistant. he already had experience in working with literature and students books – he was tutoring his classmates for a year by that time, plus the librarian was his mother’s friend so he didn’t expect any difficulties to get into his way.

until cartman learned about kyle’s new work and decided it was his moral duty to go into the library that he has never visited before and pester kyle every goddamn day. because kyle couldn’t do anything to stop this since he wasn’t allowed to start conflicts as a worker there. it also was prohibited to shout at the library so most of the time he was cursing and threatening cartman in a whisper. neither was he allowed to kick him out because the librarian truly believed that every child has the right to be in this sacred temple of knowledge.

and it was terrible.

every day kyle was expecting another trick from cartman – either it was total reorganising of the books on shelves from alphabetical order to matching colours, or a request to find a very rare book that only was in the library in one copy somewhere in the farthest corner of the room at the highest shelf – only to realise cartman absolutely knows this book has been missing for, like, three years by now.

kyle: Can you please stop bothering me?! You don’t even read books!

cartman: Sure I do! But paper books are sooo last century, I’m into e-books now.

kyle: THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE LIBRARY EVERY DAY, YOU SADISTIC ASSHOLE?

cartman: Making your life even more miserable and complicated than it already is?…

kyle: Why am I even surprised? I should’ve really guessed.

AND THEN one day kyle sees cartman in the library and mentally prepares for another portion of mocking, but surprisingly for him, cartman doesn’t even look at him, says simple and brief “hi” and goes straight to the reading hall, grabbing one of the books on the shelf. kyle can’t help but feel curious, because he’s never seen cartman so concentrated and serious – at least not the last few weeks. he sneaks up to him from the back:

kyle: What, have you finally realised what you’re actually supposed to do at the library?

cartman, shivering a little: You’re not supposed to scare the shit out of your customers too, huh, Kahl?

kyle: What even is this book? Knowing your tastes, I won’t be surprised if it’s, like, fucking Mein Kampf or something like that.

cartman, rolling his eyes: It’s none of your fucking business. And I wouldn’t read Mein Kampf, who do you even think I am?

and then kyle grabs cartman’s book and with surprise sees that it’s one of his most favorite books (i’m not sure what exactly it is but my personal hc is that kyle is really into dystopias and stories with political controversial subtext…), and he really can’t help but start discussing it with cartman. after, like, a whole half an hour of kyle infodumping him with the history behind this book, he realises they actually have pretty similar taste, and cartman’s analysing skills are so great he really understands all of the hidden messages in books, and they, well…. eventually start hanging out in the library discussing books they’re reading rn. to the point where kyle almost forgets about his other duties at work ‘cause he gets really consumed by all these discussions with cartman.

and he tries to tell about this to stan and kenny but they both just laugh because these two nerds who have finally found a conversation partner are fucking hilarious.

+ bonus about their preferences: they both are really into morally grey and/or generally antagonistic characters. and although it’s totally predictable for cartman, he was really shocked when he realised kyle adores “bad” and “immoral” characters as well (we aaaaaall know why…)

also i think kyle is more of a “plot” person who really enjoys reading about how the world in the book works, meanwhile cartman mostly prefers digging into characters, relationships between them and their psychological traits and traumas, yk? and it really helps, because each of them often notice little details the other might’ve missed.

perhaps making my whole personality about two cartoon ten years old boys was a mistake

im thinking about making a pinned post for this account but i genuinely dont know what else i could put there except for “i love kyman”😭

OK IDK IF ANYONE’S INTERESTED BUT

my compilation of kyman nsfw headcanons

(obviously they’re both aged up, it’s about 18 for both of them!!) also cw nsfw also please tell me if it gets too cringe……..

• they both have a LOT OF complaints about each other. for example, first month or two kyle has this thing about keeping their relationship in secret from everyone. so every time they’re about to have sex or even just to have a sleepover, he goes over the whole house five times to make sure nobody’s home, locks the door to his room, covers the windows, turns on the music so loud that no one could possibly hear what’s going on between them. he really even considered the idea of turning off the light, but cartman finally freaked out one day and said that if kyle wasn’t gonna handle his fucking paranoia, cartman would just go home.

also he’d try to make cartman quiet all the time so as not to be found by anyone, and it would piss cartman off SO bad: “Be quiet!!! My mom’s gonna hea–“ — “Can we please fuck at least ONCE without mentioning your BITCH mom OH MY FUCKING GOD.”

• also cartman is a jerk so every time kyle does something wrong and pisses him off, cartman remembers it and then later he leaves kyle bites, marks and hickeys on his neck or some other parts of his body that kyle can’t hide under the clothes. and kyle gets SO mad because “My mom is TOTALLY gonna notice this shit why the FUCK would you do that?” – “You called me fatass at school again, I had to take my revenge!”

eventually kyle would start wearing a scarf to hide all the marks cartman left him. and one day cartman was really stupid enough to start laughing in front of the other guys like “This scarf is so fucking gay, Kahl, what are you trying to cover up by it, hickeys??”. and oh boy if glares could kill…

• they don’t really have stable top/bottom roles… usually they just take over control when they feel like it (however, cartman-bottom and kyle-top happens to be a tiny bit more often)

• cartman is really into “extreme” so he would enjoy pestering and teasing kyle in public places so much. you know, quick unexpected kisses in the bus while nobody’s watching, brief touches and quiet and absolutely inappropriate whispering in the crowd…

moreover, cartman would totally be the type to start touching kyle’s knees under the table during the family dinner at broflovski’s house while talking to sheila with the most innocent face a person could possibly have. (kyle is sitting next to him about to explode with embarrassment and anger).

• in addition to that “extreme” thing, they are both kinda addicted to risking, so after two or three months of dating they both would get really into doing it in public. the worst time was in marsh’s bathroom once. stan learned about it already after the fact, and he stopped talking to them for, like, almost a week, because it was fucking traumatizing.

*kyle and cartman, kissing at the bus stop*

stan, laughing: You guys are gross, haha.

cartman, chuckling: Oh, come on, it’s nothing compared to that one time we did it in the bathroom in your house.

stan: …You did what?

kyle: WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT

cartman: What, you said you liked it!

kyle: I am so sorry, Stan, it’s all his fau–

stan: I am NEVER letting you in my house again.

kyle: Wait, Stan, please–

kenny, coming up to them: Hey guys! ‘Sup?

stan, completely broken: They had sex in my bathroom once.

kenny, grinning: WOAH nice one guys!!! Have you already done it in my house too?

kyle: NO

cartman, in sync: Yes.

• kyle absolutely sucks in romance but he’s actually trying his best to be as romantic as possible, so for their first time he bought flowers, lit candles in his room and made a goddamn playlist with the most cringy romantic songs about love ever. at first cartman didn’t mind it, and he honestly thought it was absolutely sweet. however when he heard some french song playing from kyle’s laptop while they were in the middle of process, he got so irritated he (with an effort) stopped kissing kyle for a minute to walk up, half-naked, to the table to turn off the music and mutter something about kyle’s terrible tastes.

• they both are SO prissy i mean they can get sooo absolutely gross sometimes, but having sex without having a shower and proper preparation first? never. and it’s actually pretty funny, because people don’t usually expect cartman to care so much about cleanness :D

• also cartman reaaally likes getting on kyle’s nerves and embarrass him in front of others, so it’s a typical situation when he tries to kiss or do something more intimate to kyle while he’s having a phone call or smth. (gross and disrespectful but oh how kyle loves it)

and it just somehow happens that stan is the one who suffers the most from this. one day stan and kyle were discussing on the phone something school-related and cartman got bored enough to start casually teasing kyle, touching him, kissing and biting his neck and, well, more.

kyle, breathing heavily while talking on his phone: Y-yes, dude, I’ll… I’ll send you my homework as soon as I get a chance.

stan: Kyle, I swear to fucking god if Cartman is trying to blow you while we’re talking, we will NEVER be friends again.

kyle: Of course he– doesn’t! What kind of perverts do you… think we are.

stan: You know what? I’ll ask Kenny about homework.

kyle: Kenny never does his homework.

stan: Yes, and Kenny also never tries to fuck someone AND talk to me at the same time!

kenny, shouting from the other room: I’m sorry to disappoint you, but actually–

stan, horrified: I hate you all.

• also yes meanwhile they can get pretty, uhh, sadistic from time to time most of the time they stick to gentle and comforting treatment because they never want to hurt each other on purpose. moreover, kyle praises cartman in bed constantly, making him feel much more confident about his body, and sometimes, when they’re most intimate and close to each other, kyle calls him “eric” and actually – cartman thinks just this, just hearing his own name pronounced by kyle with such satisfaction is so much better than sex itself.

• not nsfw, but cartman really often sneaks up to kyle’s room to just lay down with him and hug at night till they both fall asleep, and even though it was really awkward at first, as time passed, kyle got pretty used to opening his window and letting cartman in to hug him really tightly and sleep together :(

Even a king needs a break sometimes

[reblogs are appreciated <3]

My half of an art trade with @bloogers-boogers that my dumbass forgot to post 😭

I drew their versions of the fuckers 😎🫵

They're arguing for the millionth time over something except this time it's actually hurtful - whoopsies

MEOWWW @bloogers-boogers U DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I SMILE WHEN U RB ME NDKNXKXD THANKS A LOT 😭😭🤲🤲🫶🫶

kyle and wendy being just regular friends or rivals and not liking each other sure is fun but imagine them bonding over their lovehate to cartman. imagine cartman having to fight them both. this brosistp has SO much comedy potential.

SO imagine a soulmate au where people get a mark on their wrist that somehow implies who their soulmate is (basic). the mark usually appears somewhere about the age of 16-18.

not all people have soulmates, it’s a rather rare occasion (like one person out of 700 people), but if there have been people with soulmates in the family before, it increases the chances of having a soulmate-destined baby.

and now. STENNY.

kenny’s parents are soulmates (which is an INCREDIBLY rare situation because most of the time only one or nobody in a couple has a mark) so it was pretty natural to expect him having a mark.

other guys in the friends’ group didn’t worry about it much because they didn’t have any soulmates in their families, so they thought the chances of getting a soulmate mark were too low.

until one day stan wakes up and sees a death mark on his wrist. like. the grim reaper mark.

and he (naturally) gets scared as fuck. he tries to show this mark to anyone to reassure him that it’s ok but everyone seems pretty scared of it just as much as he is.

after, like, one week wendy breaks up with him saying that she’s afraid it’s some sort of a curse and she doesn’t really want to risk her life for a death-marked boy

and stan (once again naturally) gets depressed.

and uh. kenny is the only one who understands the meaning of the mark. but he can’t really tell the truth to stan because he simply wouldn’t believe if one of his best friends just casually told him “ah yes we’re soulmates and the reason why your mark is so weird is because i die at least once a week. wanna go on a date now?”

and while stan is out there hating his unknown soulmate, kenny has to listen to him complaining about his terrible luck and just. do nothing.

so kenny is just… waiting for his mark to appear so he can have a real proof of their soulmateship.

and now imagine the drama.

just finished tfbw i am so not fucking normal about kyman there

professor: Mister Broflovski, when I gave you an assignment to make a presentation on any legal topic of your choice, I didn’t exactly mean this…

kyle, standing next to a laptop with an “every crime ever committed by eric cartman” presentation: What do you mean🥺

so yes i have a kyman university au which i am writing now where they enter the same uni (they didn’t know it until it was too late) and start fighting ‘cause ppl actually like cartman because they dont know about all those terrible things he’s done.

i feel like even professors would dislike kyle for how he acts around cartman.

cartman: So moral values, on the other hand, although are not mandatory to follow, are extremely significant in people’s lives. They are the reason why people understand the importance of equality, honesty and self control. And even though they are not written in any legal documents or Constitution, people who don’t live by their standards or whose values differ from the rest of society are eventually called deviants and threaten the law system. Basically, summing up what I have just said, life without moral values would be a complete disaster and would cause chaos and disorder.

professor: Very well, Eri–

kyle, rolling his eyes and snorting: Oh, please.

professor: Is there a problem, mister Broflovski?

kyle: I’m sorry, but– As if he knows anything about moral values.

professor: And what do you mean by that unexpected accusation?

cartman: I apologise, Professor, me and Kyle were… acquainted before. I believe he’s talking about those times.

kyle: Yes, I am! You shouldn’t even be allowed to study Law in the first place!

cartman: Wow, Kyle. Rude.

professor: Young man, everyone is allowed to study law, no matter what things they’ve done in the past.

kyle: But you don’t understand, he’s…

professor: And I don’t want to judge my students by their past. Right now I see in Eric Cartman a good, responsible, hard-working and smart man, and you… well, you’ve already spoiled my impression.

kyle, shocked: What– But– It’s–

cartman: Can I now continue my answer, Professor?

professor: Sure, Eric, go on. And you *(refers to kyle)* – please, refrain from unasked comments in my classes.

kyle: But– …Okay, I’m… sorry. Won’t happen again.

a short messy unfinished benrietta uhhh thing that i wrote at night idk if there are many enjoyers. cw underage smoking!!

***

Bebe takes a deep drag on a cigarette, coughing and blinking away the tears in her eyes. Despite what she had said to Goth kids, she wasn’t actually really used to smoking, and now, with a bit of a shame, a delusional thought flashes in her head – Henrietta is probably laughing internally at Bebe's attempts to mimic their lifestyle. Nevertheless, Stevens quickly gets rid of it, angrily shaking her head.

She feels disgusted to realize that the desire to please and satisfy everyone around her is put so deeply into the subcortex of her brain that she can’t let herself relax even now, in the passenger seat of Mrs. Biggle's old car, in the very suburbs of South Park — in the place where no one could even see her. Except Henrietta, of course. But Bebe mercilessly cuts off this thought, because she wouldn’t try so hard to look good just for Henrietta – she is almost sure of that.

She takes a drag on a bitter menthol cigarette, holding the smoke in her lungs for a couple of seconds. Then she blows the smoke, imagining all of her obsessive thoughts and troubles coming out of her body as well. Her head feels pleasantly empty, and she giggles, leaning back in the seat and lazily looking around the neighborhood through the mud-stained broken car window.

Shithole. South Park was just a one huge shithole, a cage in which she lived all her life, and from which she desperately wanted to be free. What exactly she meant by "freedom", Bebe wasn’t really able to explain, so she usually stuck to safe "Denver" — that’s where she wanted to move after finishing high school.

Bebe chuckles and shares out loud her ideas about moving out of their town. To her surprise, Henrietta's hoarse voice sounds completely uninspired, even bored:

“Denver is just the same dump. I don't want to move, it's conformist”.

Bebe frowns, raises herself on her elbows and carefully examines the serene expression of her friend's face. She is leaning back in the driver's seat, with her eyes closed and a lit cigarette between her fingers.

Bebe squints, noticing the mascara that has carelessly smeared in the corners of Henrietta's eyes, and suppresses the desire to move closer and fix her makeup. Instead, she follows Henrietta’s example and closes her eyes, accidentally poking a cigarette into her cheek and squealing shortly in surprise.

"You shouldn't move either, by the way. You'll go wild as soon as you get out of of your parents’ control, and then you'll just hate yourself. That’s how it happens to girls like you," Henrietta says disinterestedly.

Bebe listens to her voice, monotonous, hoarse from smoking, and does not know if she even should be offended by the harsh words if they are said in such an incredibly beautiful voice. For some reason, her heart is speeding up its pace, and she can only hope that it's out of anger.

“Well, maybe I need to go wild? It's not easy to always be perfect, you know!” Bebe replies, wrinkling her nose capriciously.

“And who told you you’re perfect?” Henrietta asks, raising her eyebrows slightly in surprise, as if she did not expect such words from herself.

Bebe gasps with indignation, and makes an attempt to defend herself:

“Well, everyone knows that”.

And indeed. A constant. A strange hierarchy among the girls in the second grade put Bebe to the other "popular" girls – Bebe doesn’t remember exactly why, though. Maybe because she had the most beautiful pink bows in the whole class, or maybe because she was pretty confident while talking to the boys, or some similar stupid childish reason. Back then, in elementary school, everything was much simpler, and Bebe didn't even have to try to be liked by people – everything was already decided for her by her cute blonde curls, which all the boys in the class were crazy about.

Now she wastes hours of her life on skin care, good (but not perfect, so as not to become a “nerd”) grades and shopping with girlfriends.

She didn't know what would happen if she did go down the social ladder at school, but she preferred not to think about it too much. Several times she was already close to it, but quickly redeemed her reputation every time.

Now she felt like she was walking on the edge, looking into the abyss at the very bottom of the hierarchy they had invented, balancing dangerously. For example, because now, instead of having fun at Wendy's birthday party, she is sitting with Henrietta in an ancient car in the poorest neighbourhood of their town and smoking the third cigarette.

Bebe thinks for a second where Henrietta would be on this so called social ladder, and then realises that she probably doesn't fit into this system at all, standing somewhere aside alone and muttering something about pathetic conformists. She feels a sharp pang of envy in her heart. She wished she could just not care about her social status too.

Henrietta's voice pulls her out of the abyss of her thoughts – Bebe has clearly been thinking too much lately – and Stevens is surprised to notice in it emotions that she could not read yet. So far, she couldn't read Henrietta at all.

“Well, I don't argue with the fact that you are beautiful and convenient, but perfect?” Henrietta winces expressively, and Bebe suddenly feels as if she's been punched in the gut.

“If you’re just gonna insult me for no reason, I’m leaving,” Bebe warns, frowning. She can’t help but feel offended, even though she has no idea why she wants to be liked by Henrietta so bad.

“Those are not insults, they’re facts. Grass is green, sky is blue, and you are deeply unhappy because you try to fit into society’s standards”. Henrietta shrugs casually, as if she didn’t just destroy Bebe’s understanding of her own life.

“At least I’m accepted into society and people don’t call me a fucking freak and weirdo!” Bebe murmurs angrily.

“Was that supposed to be offensive?” Henrietta chuckles, inhaling smoke again.

i have a headcanon that all of cartman’s “first times” were with butters: first kiss, first sexual contact (as teens), first date attempts. because they both trusted each other and they both had sexuality and identity crisis, so they kinda… experimented with each other.

and even though kyle laughs when he just learns this fact of cartman’s life, after he finally starts dating cartman he can’t help but feel these jealousy and envy when eric mentions that “he has already tried that with butters”, and he’s very likely to subconsciously start disliking butters a little, because he just can’t let go of this thought of cartman and butters kissing or having an awkward date or something.

kyman would have made a prenup before anyone would even thought about the wedding

for some reason i enjoy so much the idea of kyle actually genuinely liking cartman’s appearance. like, he would never admit it – especially to cartman – but somehow eric really is a perfect match for kyle’s preferences.

therefore he can’t possibly stand the idea of cartman changing his appearance to become more “beautiful” in other people’s opinions, because kyle likes him the way he already is — and kyle already is sure cartman is beautiful.

so eeeevery time cartman has even a tiniest thought of losing weight, kyle makes sure he will change his mind.

cartman: I don’t know, man, maybe I really should lose weight… I mean, I’m hot as hell right now, but imagine all those girls who will go completely insane when they see me all skinny and sexy?

kyle: Gross. I don’t want to even think about it.

cartman: Are you jealous, Kyle? Or are you just envious ‘cuz I get more females’ attention being big-boned than you do with your thin ass?

kyle: Don’t you flatter yourself, Fatass. When was the last time a girl looked at you without a terror on her face?

cartman: Oh, shut up, Jew! You’re just afraid you’ll look even uglier next to me.

kyle: So you’re going on a diet, right?

cartman: Right!

kyle: Okay, good luck with this. …Oh, wait, isn’t this a KFC restaurant right there? And, wow, look: I have fifteen bucks right here! Damn, that’s just perfect for a double portion of chicken...

cartman: No… you sneaky little…

kyle: Huh? What’re you saying? I didn’t quite catch it. Do you wanna join me, Cartman?

cartman: …I hate you so much, Kyle. You’re going to burn in hell for forever. More than that: I will turn your life to hell myself–

kyle: So you’re going or not?

cartman: …Yes.

ALSO yes he’d support cartman’s decision to lose weight for himself but he just hates the idea of cartman changing his body just for social standards. and i just want at least one person to completely adore cartman’s looks and compliment him and i think kyle’d be the one to do so. once he get over his embarrassment, he’ll start telling nice things to cartman once in a while and cartman who is absolutely not used to genuine praise will be so. fucking. happy. every time.

So glad ur back i missed ur headcannons and writing so bad^^ ( ´▽` )

OMFG IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!!!!! i hope u won’t be disappointed by the new stuff i’ll post heheeee <3 🫶

and during the rest i’ve been thinking about the difference between kyman and stanman a lot

like, we all know how kyle would be pretty insistent on the whole “changing cartman for the better” thing, cuz he’d think it’s his moral obligation and he’s not the type to just suddenly tolerate some traits he strongly dislikes in others

and what’s most important, he doesn’t see cartman through rose-colored glasses, he just, well… sees real cartman and doesn’t make excuses for his terrible actions, and he accepts the fact that, yes, it’s cartman, he has his flaws (like. lots of them) and he might hate those traits but he loves cartman in general with all his difficulties and “disadvantages”.

AND THEN there’s stanman where once stan falls in love he starts to kinda idealise cartman? he pretends he doesn’t see his “bad” sides anymore, and he doesn’t really try to change cartman, even when some things eric does make him uncomfortable.

and then. keep this all in mind and. imagine styleman. where stan and kyle have fights over this like every week.

kyle: We can’t tolerate this kind of behaviour, Stan, he destructs people around him, us, and most of all – himself!

stan: I don’t wanna change Cartman, dude, i like him the way he is!

kyle: That’s stupid, you have to think logically!!

stan: That’s what love is about, Kyle. You don’t just change a person if you dislike something about them. Not like you would know that, of course.

also, during their relationship cartman sees style comforting each other as he realises romance can be not only about getting on each other’s nerves and constantly fighting but like?? actual support?? caring attitude?? help?? acceptance?? and he goes like W O W

that was a long rest but HEYYY im kinda back!!!!!!!!

i haven’t written a lot of things during my time off but i’ve kind of started to write my university au kyman fanfic (this is difficult cuz i have no clue how universities in usa work so i’ll have to do a lot of research….) and yepp that’s it. if anyone is interested i can tell more about this au adding some details (it also has stutters and weidi in it!!)

aaaaand cw nsfw mentioned

btw guys im still pretty new to tumblr so idk does anyone here think it’d be okay if i posted some aged up!kyman nsfw headcanons? /gen. that’s sorta the only thing i’ve written so far hehe

So me and Vita were discussing our favorite superhero designs in TFBW, and I kinda summarized why I think Mysterion's design is so genius :D

First of all, the role of his design is different from others' – meanwhile you can judge other TFBW designs by how much they fit their characters, it won't work with Mysterion. It's the opposite!

His design is so great by how much he differs from Kenny. To put it more figuratively – its so great by how much it doesn't fit Kenny.

Despite the fact that by 14th season we already know that Mysterion is Kenny, it is his design that allows us still feel the mysterious edgy vibe.

We all know that he was first introduced way before it was revealed that Mysterion is Kenny. And yes, because of the fact how different is Mysterion from Kenny's "vibe", his identity remained a mystery for the viewers too. Also! At the first Raccoon episode (S13E2), it's pretty obvious that Raccoon and Mysterion were conceived as opposites. And it works with their designs too :D Raccoons design is very obvious to the viewer, and I don't mean the look, I mean the appeal – Cartman is Cartman, he doesn't hide his identity (I mean, he's bad at hiding it lol). When Mysterion...Is quite literally the opposite! This is probably more thoughts than actual facts, but I find this parallel soooo cool, and the fact that Raccoon and Mysterion parallel each other in everything.

Summary: I can't say that Mysterion's design is very visually memorable or pretty, but it's the best design at accomplishing its role.

(I love Mysterion sm.......🖤)

I miss uuuuuu —totally bloog<3

OMGGG HEY!!!!! srry im kinda resting rn so i dont really use social media much BUT AWWW I REALLY MISSED INTERACTING WITH U TOO !!!! 🤲🤲

i think ima return to tumblr like in four days or so!!! cooking another kyman au rn >:]]