eden66633
66 posts
Latest Posts by eden66633
Found the bard
A young apprentice recently overheard me practicing rapping, I was surprised to find he was impressed with my ablities and even suggested publishing it, following his advice: here is one of my more recent works
strokes beard wisely
Yuh,
big AW in the studio, be prepared young traveler...
*beat drop*
Yall little minds aren't prepared for my wizardry, casting all my spells bending minds and reality, your world is a lie, I made it, call that a trickery, your spells are decadent, don't have it in you anymore, my long game victory
there's no kingdom I couldn't conquer,, if I wanted to, foes in war too simple,, getting bored of you, battling puny mortals ain't as fun as it used to, I surpassed what you can comprehend, make me the god of you
*music cuts to choir sample*
*music returneth*
but everyone calls themselves a god these days, regular ass wizards, playing pretend, you think you figured it out, you just stopped aging man, godhood, immortality, is 'bout something else
the tales of my battles are spread far across the lands, killed a dragon over here, flattened a city over there,, my powers uncontrollable, my flow boggling minds again, was sealed away for aeons once, now sealing the potholes of the walk of fame- we're done
*audible explosion*
I WANT THREE SEASONS AND A MOVIE ABOUT THEM
[This idea has been rattling in my brain and I had to share it.]
I know we all love the ‘humans are space orcs’ concept… but imagine, onboard the new ship they’ve been assigned to, the human meets an actual space orc. A massive monster… fangs and tusks and scars and a battle-hardened stare, looming over all the other life forms on the ship in its thick indestructible armour it refuses to remove. It barely drinks, it doesn’t need sleep, its massive shoulders are heavy with the terrible things it has experienced. Compared to the squishy & delicate human body, this thing is a walking tank.
… Except instead of hating/ignoring one another, the human and the monster start bonding over both coming from death planets. The human is excited to find a life form who doesn’t quiver with fear at the vague description of a jellyfish and the monster is ecstatic to meet someone who understands the feeling of being bitten by a qua’lem (cats are pretty close). They sit together and compare dangerous animals and locations as the other aliens look on in confusion and fear… oh, you also have dense jungles of deadly hidden predators, boiling acid lakes, tamed predatory killers, and areas with horrendously high and low temperatures? Sick!!
It doesn’t take long before the two of them become totally inseparable. The human loves not feeling like some kind of crazy outsider and the monster is overjoyed they’ve finally found an equal in this unkillable marshmallow.
Monster: When I was a youngling, a grol-lik stung straight through my armour. The pain lasted for approximately 16 human hours. Human: Oh yeah man, I get that. As a kid I got a wasp stuck in my shirt. It stung me like four times, it was awful, and all my cousins just laughed at me… Monster: [using their arm screen to research human courting methods] I see.
This country is abysmal
An arsonist has destroyed the goat statue in Lego City!
Present for my mum: a Lego Julbock for her wintery village.
Brb, grabbing the homies to raid the corporate HQ like an MMO dungeon. The BBEG is Elon Musk.
Bumping for visibility!
youtube is pulling this bullshit again
praying for the firefox gods to save me once more...
This plot is thicker than frozen butter
>"person of interest" captured in Altoona PA
>POI was stopped at a McDonald's getting food
>carrying multiple fake IDs and a passport
>also carrying manifesto and potential murder weapon + silencer
>identified based on hostel mugshot that doesn't appear to be the same person in other photos
>fake ID matches the one used by POI at Hostel, where they already knew this person was
>picture of the shooter that they claim to have tracked back to the Starbucks has noticeably thinner and wider eyebrows than POI, as well as completely different clothing
>suspect was purportedly tracked from crime scene on cameras and disappeared at a bus station
>greyhound NYC to Altoona PA is less than a day, as is a Greyhound from NYC to Toronto
>shooter has been roaming free for five days
>NYPD, the most vain police department in the world, has been pursuing even the most fuckstupid leads they have (veterinary pistol lol) and spreading photos that are obviously not all the same person
>NYPD has a long history of fabricating evidence against arrested suspects and then dropping cases in court, having done this with a murder case as recently as this past January
>New York City is the financial capital of the nation and needs to appear safe for the capitalist class or it will surely hemorrhage funding
>Eric Adams, Mayor of New York, is currently embroiled in a humiliating corruption investigation and doesn't have much remaining face he can afford to lose
Oh I’m praying for him alright 😈
B-b-bad to the boan
B
Jelly (grape)
okay fucking fine guys lets make the most fucked up sandwich ever since that's all you want to do.
I'll start: bread
I hope a certain hobbit doesn’t find this tater!
Reminder that you can block most ads on Android. yes, including youtube ads.
Steps: Download Firefox -> Install uBlock Origin extension.
That's literally it. Enjoy ad free web browsing while we still (barely) have it!
Shoot, do I have to play SA1 beforehand?
everyone’s homework before Dec 20th, 2024 is to play Sonic Adventure 2
I cast cure wounds
i love making art
Tumblr on the Seven Seas
🏴☠️ white-beard Follow
Can we stop all normalising the use of "sc*rvy" as a fun little thing to call people?? I literally had sc*rvy last year and it was even worse than when I got my hand cut off. Fuck anyone who uses the S word without even considering how triggering it can be to those of us who have ACTUALLY suffered though it
🌅 castedaway Follow
No wenches?
🏴☠️ white-beard Follow
Honestly you people are so insufferable I genuinely hope you walk the plank
🌅 castedaway Follow
AHOY???
🍑 plundermebooty Follow
Okay but OP is literally a landlubber, mateys
🌴 pegmeg
nahhh why is it literally always landlubbers faking scurvy and sending plank threats ☠☠
768 notes
🗡wagscallion Follow
everyone says "land ho!" but never "land ma'am"
💨 matelotsaboteur
Really makes you think
2,041 notes
💃 crossdressing101 Follow
this whole crew was so gullible ngl, i just cut my hair and dressed in my fathers clothes and they all fell for it, hook line and sinker??
💃 crossdressing101 Follow
honestly im surprised no one has found me out yet. surely i dont seem that much like a man? i mean it makes this way easier but like. im still a woman. obviously
🕺 crossdressing101 Follow
mateys i have come to a shocking realisation,
34 notes
⛵ privatesteer Follow
wildest argument for piracy i've ever heard was that the gold stored on government ships is dangerous cause it weighs them down, so they're just 'lightening the load'
🧜♀️ kiss-pretty-ocean324 Follow
աaռռa ʟɨֆȶɛռ ȶօ ֆɨʀɛռ ֆօռɢ?
⛵ privatesteer Follow
no thanks
🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210
outta my way gayboy im boutta get it
🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210
i have drowned at sea
36,251 notes
⚓ shiveringtimbers Follow
14,811 notes
🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow
i am SO sick of the term "ship-shape" like, matey, which shape?? Ships come in so many fucking shapes like have non of you ever boarded more than one vessel in your career???? Anyway fake ship fans DNI with this post i can NOT be bothered with your tomfuckery today
💦 longjohngolder Follow
girl its not that deep ☠
🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow
to YOU. i just get it
1,147 notes
🙍♂️ dudeindistress Follow
honestly being held for ransom isnt that bad. kinda nice to be held
4,733 notes
🦜 pollypockets Follow
SQUAWK
🐦 aviated Follow
CAW SQUAWK SQUAWK
🦜 pollypockets Follow
CA-CAW
790 notes
🍑 plundermebooty Follow
the cabin boy just winked at me?? after offering to help clean my gun? privately. in my quarters. tonight.
🍑 plundermebooty Follow
i think i hauve scurvy
142 notes
🌊 swabmydick Follow
mateys I SWEARR my captain and his first mate are gonna kiss before our next voyage. they literally have so much romantic tension every time i see them its nauseating
🕶 longjohngolderdeactivated16511205
wtf its so problematic and harmful to ship real people?? unfollowing rn i thought you were better than this
🌊 swabmydick Follow
i literally rob and kill people for a living?????? that's where you draw the line???
🌴 pegmeg
op killed them
🌊 swabmydick Follow
even better news mateys, they kissed ☠☠☠
96,538 notes
I too lust for strange flesh
do u think that angels having sex with humans was seen as like beastiality in angel-world
I mean, magic in Adventure Time is the result of some radioactive catastrophe IIRC, so you may not be far off
mm yumy powder :)
🇵🇸🍉 Free Palestine 🍉🇵🇸
did i ever tell you guy about the time i got stuck in a room with the kpop band BTS in the santiago airport in 2017
If you can dodge these spells, you can dodge a fireball
Everyone knows using the pot’s lid to keep the pasta inside while you pour the water out is the superior method.
are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?
I’m quitting coffee now
it’s almost that time of the year again, so you know what that means
I’m trans fem, not trans masc, but I can definitely agree that grabbing (your) titties whenever is awesome.
i want top surgery eventually but i have to say being able to just grab a tit is unparalleled
i don’t know which autistic/adhd/any kind of neurodivergent person needs to hear this but: make a “just in case” bag
this is a pic of mine. it contains:
loop earplugs on the zipper
prescription glasses with a clip on sunglasses attachment
my public transport discount card
a pen
a glasses cloth + wet glasses wipes (which can also be used to clean my hands if needed!
wireless earbuds in case my headphones give out
tips for my apple pencil + silicon covers if i need a different texture/the sound is too loud
a sanitary pad (not for me, as i had a hysterectomy, but i like carrying one around for my menstruating friends)
a pouch with hair ties for when my hair bothers me
autism lanyard (not pictured, as i put it in after i took it)
will i use these every day? not necessarily. but it’s good to have these all in one place in a little pouch so it’s easy to throw into my bag as i use different ones for different occasions. that way i don’t have to think about all these things individually.
it might seem like common sense for some people, but i didn’t think of this until recently. so i wanted to share this in case it could be handy for other people. some more ideas for what to put in your bag under the break. you can make this as big or as small as you like so some ideas may seem a bit big
powerbank + cables (preferably a powerbank that has a LOT of charge)
snacks (do keep an eye on the expiration date)
painkillers/emergency meds (same thing about the expiration date)
sewing kit
deodorant/perfume
mini fan
hand warmers
scissors/nail clippers (for when tags/threads/your nails are bothering you)
tweezers
lucky charm (i have my lucky cat keychain. it just calms me to have)
plushie/stress ball/fidget toy
mints/a mini toothbrush and toothpaste
extra pair of underwear (for if you suddenly need to stay somewhere overnight or if an accident happens)
comb
band-aids + disinfectant
hand cream/soothing cream
soap/soap leaves
similarly, some mini shampoo or mini body wash (again for if you suddenly need to stay the night. there’s probably already some wherever you’re staying but again. this is a just in case bag)
q-tips
chapstick
makeup remover wipes
razors
hand sanitizer/general sanitizer
wet wipes/tissues
foldable bag
ruler/tape measure
this is a lot but keep in mind, these are just ideas. you don’t have to use everything, just pick out which things you think would be handy for you and make your bag accordingly. do feel free to add onto the list if you have any other ideas.
Get boggled, idiots
