Peter: Why Is There Cheese On My Bed AGAIN?!

James: Mom can you stop picking me up from Hogwarts?

Effie, tearing up, thinking he’s embarrassed: Oh, okay.

James: Wait no it’s not like that!

James: It’s just… Marlene says things that make me very uncomfortable when she sees you.

"My child is fine." Your child is reading the angstiest fanfics about Harry Potter's dead parents and their friends on purpose.

Evan: How would you hide a body-

Dorcas: Hypothetically-

Pandora: You aren’t fooling anyone-

Barty: ANYways, how would you do it?

James: 

James: You see, in quidditch, the snitch-

Barty: Nope. 

Dorcas: MarLENE!

Lily: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake? 

James: Aww- 

Lily: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

I wish real people had subtitles bc I seriously can’t focus on what people are saying half of the time

James: Plants have feelings too?! What is this? Now I can't have food! 

Lily: You can eat a rock. 

Sirius: Air. 

Remus: The fabric of time and space. 

Marlene: Chugging a bottle of bleach can solve all your problems. 

James: You guys are not helpful.

Remus: So what’s for dinner? 

Sirius: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise! 

Remus: … 

Remus: Is it soup? 

Sirius: I soup-pose it could be! *winks* 

Remus: Please, enough with the soup puns! 

Sirius: Wow, you’re soup-per mean. 

Remus: STOP! 

*one hour later* 

Remus: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!

Sirius Black proposing to Remus Lupin, because he would never do it himself- he has too much self-hatred and self-doubt.

Sirius Black getting down on one knee and asking if, maybe, Remus would be willing to love him for the rest of their lives, because he was absolutely sure that he would love Remus for the rest of his.

Remus Lupin tearing up and muttering in thrilled disbelief, “Are you serious?” Because he’s so happy and excited and he’s not thinking straight.

Sirius Black grinning tearfully and saying, “Yes, I’m Sirius. Sirius Lupin, hopefully.”

And Remus just fucking sobbing.

Why do people give my wife (aka Lily Evans) zero personality? Like, yeah she was a goody two shoes, but not JUST that. She called James a “arrogant toe rag” and Snape “Snivillous” to spite him, so she was not short of insults. Also she faced voldemort THREE times before she died, and that’s JUST the canon stuff.

Plus she’s friends with (or dating, depending on what you ship) MARY MACDONALD. You know she HAD to be cool.

I’m so tired of Lily saying something funny, snarky, or smart in headcanons and fanfics and people in the comments saying things like “that’s more something blah-blah-blah would say”

Like SHUT UP!!! Lily is a QUEEN. Stop narrowing her down to just ONE of her traits- being a prefect who follows the rules more often than not. I’m not saying she doesn’t- but she has WAY better traits than just that.

And I’m not saying she had zero flaws. She did, but it’s ok. Don’t make her perfect. But don’t villainize her. You forgive the skittles for being death eaters, Sirius for the prank, but not Lily for being a little angry in someone’s fic?

marauders fandom missed the opportunity to call marylily lary