doublebubbletoilnmubble

Latest Posts by doublebubbletoilnmubble

Felt evil and deranged, but turns out I just needed a nice shower with watermelon soap, vanilla shaving foam, and baby lotion, with Work Song by Hozier playing in the background. Silly me.

Sometimes being a girl is a little more gloom than glamor `••●●☆

Some orange vibes for summer slooowly rolling in ~``☆

Me n this aesthetic are in looove 🍬🧸

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We are so back ladies ☆

This last year has been so atrocious for me omg my blog has become so icky ranty

I need to get back into girlblogging I think it'll keep me sane and normal ugh

New job is so slow on fridays that I always get so tired after lunch. I have to wait till my 2nd 15 to take a nap tho 😭😭😭

I have stayed in my bf's parents home, taken care of their pets and farm animals, and driven their youngest child around to school and softball and yet I somehow feel incredibly guilty for allowing them to help me with a flat tire AUGHH

(Coming from a transmasc cyborg) They call me an Emale the way only my electronic parts make me male

I had Depressed Cowgirl Electropop Afternoon, whatever the fuck that means. It was just like, murder country and two Cascada songs

what the FUCK is this supposed to mean, Spotify ??????

I am finally off my period and am going out w my man tomorrow and if I don't get dick by approximately 10:01pm Friday, March 8th 2024 I am going to gnaw off my own leg

In his room, windows open, warm out, smells like woodsmoke. It's quiet. We're playing separate games, looking at each other, separate music. He listens to rock, I have Lana in my earbuds. I'm in his boxers. It's easy. Sometimes feeling like a woman is the best thing in the world. Sometimes, it does feel like a blessing.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to create. I am looking for a comfort that does not exist. I am afraid it never will. Maybe it isn't made for me-- I'm afraid it wasn't made for me.

I DON'T EVEN WANT THIS MAN ANYMORE

I do but i don't and this is the only place I can say shit like this and not have to apologize for it or worry someone will find it and I'm. lsoing my fucking mind over here. I hate him. We're in love. He doesn't even fucking like me. He's obsessed with me. I can't tell if I'm in a bad relationship or not. Things are easy but aparently I always make him feel guilty, and he slips up and I think he only tolerates me because I do not ask for much, and I ask for more, and he encourages it, and he tells me something new, and makes a passive aggressive comment, and I am so exhausted. I don't think we're playing mind games on purpose I think we're just barely adult teenagers who have never been in a real relationship prior to this and are learning. I fear we may learn just enough to want to be with other people. I fear I will become someone I will not like if this happens. I'm so fucking angry at him right now I can't stand it and I can't tell if it's justified and i am overheating as I type this and I just want somebody who obviously, wholeheartedly, VISIBLY likes and loves me and prefers my time to anybody else's and acts like it. This fucking sucks. I hate it here don't date a man guys don't do it just admire them from afar and run away

"Don't assume that just because you'd like to be with me 24/7 and I'm not comfortable with that that you love me more than I love you"

That's quite literally exactly what that means???? Like obviously you mean more to me than I do to you??? Like you'll fuck me in your bed but then I'm not allowed to stay in said bed because you need your little wind down time (you are my wind down time) which, of course, doesn't involve me, since I'm just too much for you to relax around. Like what??? What the fuck do you think the point of relationships is. "I'd move in with you right now if I could" No you literally wouldn't????? Like obviously if you can't even handle this you'll never be able to settle down with someone! Except, no, you just won't be able to settle down with me. It's not that you don't like people in your space when you're having peaceful time, it's that you don't like me in your space. And the right girl will come along and you'll want to be with her 24/7 and god I hope she doesn't want anything to do with you. And if she does I hope I never hear anything about it. The physical intimacy is just fine, sure, but emotionally it's just too much. Your lifestyle just doesn't allow it. Don't you know what that means to me?? I TOLD him what he was getting into when I agreed to be physical. Like I told you that it would change how I felt about things and it was another level of closeness and if he didn't feel the same about that then he needed to just leave me the fuck alone but nooooo. This is so exhausting. I hope he finds someone that he actually wants to be around and I hope I never, ever have to see anything about it. I hope I don't make it past twenty if it isn't with him.

Unfortunately he does really genuinely love me and has proved it several times over and now I have to apologize for projecting my insecurities onto him and making things weird even though he expects no apology god FUCK healing this is so weird I have never been the problem before

I Don't Think My Boyfriend Actually Likes Me, And Is Not Over His Ex, Is This Intuition Or Anxiety?

three thousand word volumes by be

god sometimes I think about my little redheaded childhood best friend who just didn't know how to handle herself and was abused and just passed it on because she never recognized any of it was wrong and how utterly shattered and heartbroken she was when I told her we couldn't be friends anymore because the mistreatment and the mothering i had to deal with for her was so exhausting and how much I missed her and how good and kind and generous she was at her soul when she wasn't lashing out and my heart aches so bad I have to take a minute to straight up curl into myself bella swan style because it feels like somebody is pulling my ribs out of my chest. So anyway I hope she had the absolute happiest 18th birthday this year and that she still likes to hear people read to her and that there are still people willing to do it because she's dyslexic and wants to read but can't and I hope that people still encourage how good she is with math and that she still loves to paint nails and give massages and is still proud of her strength and still learns every single lyric to the songs she likes and sings them flawlessly even though she cannot sing to save her life and that she still only buys dresses that look good with sandals and flip flops because they're "the only right thing to wear with dresses" and that she's happy in her own skin and christ I hope she's fucking safe. I miss her and I love her and I hope she's safe and content and that her biggest problem is what she wants for lunch and that whoever she's with reminds her how wonderful and beautiful that bright golden ring in the center of her blue eyes is. And I hope she doesn't hate me too bad for having to leave her.

Had an impromptu sleepover with my man last night and my father, despite the fact that we were genuinely just conked the fuck out, responded by angrily telling my mother that "if she's walking funny, we'll know why" and reminding me that my man is an adult and he can therefore fight him (sure, bud, that's not still assault or anything) anyway very tired of being treated as property and in retaliation will now receive and put my birth control to use significantly faster than I had originally planned <3

It's okay y'all I'm dating the Aquarius now and he's the person I thought the last one was in so many ways I'm pretty sure I just got sent a wink from the universe

Over my last Aquarius just in time for a new one to come in I fucking hate it here <3

Guess who woke up with an eye almost swollen shut for no discernable reason????

feeling a little insane over my getting over someone post I don't even like him like that fr

sometimes I forget that tumblr is the only site I can be on that nobody from my actual real life knows about or could find me on and that I can rant or write really shitty poetry about stuff any time I want. Its free and the police can't stop me and neither can the people who know me irl and would be mortified! Thrilling!

getting over somebody you never dated

except you did date them but it was in middle school but they were literally one of the best friends you ever had and even after they clearly couldn't stick to dating one person alone and you had to break up with them you were still each others perfect complement and continue to be so but they're a bad person who cheats and lies and manipulates but they're soft with you but you know it isn't real but kind of wonder if it is because they haven't changed around you since middle school and you're forever a little flirty and in love with each other and every time you talk you're best friends again but because it was middle school nobody lets you count it as a real relationship because you're young adults now and you let it slide because you hate them but you also don't and can't and never will and they're so mean to you but really they aren't they just call you out on your bullshit and you do the same thing but they have a lot more bullshit than you and you just really, really deeply in your soul know that they will never ever be a good person for you and refuse to heal from what hurt them and also kind of enjoy being a bad person who takes from people but when you're with them they're eleven again. And so are you. And you're wearing unicorn leggings and they're complimenting said leggings and they think you're the funniest, prettiest, most enthralling and intelligent and talented person they've ever met and they make sure you always know that and you both secretly always believe you're soulmates but awkwardly dance around that concept just like you did when you were eleven and twelve and awkwardly dancing around like-liking each other and you know they would always come back to you and you'd like to let them but value yourself too much to let them and sometimes, actually most times, you wonder if being with them could possibly hurt as much as being without them. And you know it would and all of your friends would be so mad at you and you'd be so humiliated and the only one who would understand would be your mom who went through the same thing and the only thing that stopped the feeling for her is that he fucking died and they have birthdays two days apart and you wonder if the universe is throwing round two at you and goddammit you wish you were eleven again and sharing a phone with your brothers and frantically saying goodnight while your oldest brother stands in your doorway looking pissed off and you hold their hand in the bleachers the next morning but pretend you aren't into it but you're still holding their hand anyway when you decide you're better of as friends and you still held their hand freshman year in history class because the lecture was boring and they let you color their bracelet in highlighters and told your shitty mean friends about it but they didn't get it and asked why you'd want to date someone you talked so much shit about and you say that you don't but that they haven't changed a bit and you miss how you feel with them and how you understand each other and you still make sly eye contact in sophomore year biology even when you date their best friend that sucked so bad he made you think you only liked girls and you still chose to sit behind them in psychology junior year and talk every day and let them pick your brain and laughed with them at lunch and let them take pictures of you so they could post them on your birthday but they never did because they had another girlfriend that they were cheating on again and you also watched them every day in english that year and were so happy to be in groups with them and you still drew them in your free time and you still watched them in english again your senior year because they looked so beautiful and had grown so much and were so confident now and you still dedicated an entire painting to them in your art class that nobody actually knew the meaning of. But I guess you never dated for real.