If I’m Ever Brutally Murdered And Everyone Feels Like They Need To Do Something Productive In My Memory,

when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. when all you have is a paintbrush, everything looks like a canvas. when all you have is a cock, everything looks like the exhaust pipe of a 2014 honda civic. so yes, to answer your question, i am stuck. please call the emergency services

GUYS

You can only reblog this today.

'not dishwasher safe' don't care i'm crazy. i'd put the holy grail in that thing

With severance season 2 around the corner it’s time for me to share the time I accidentally watched 4 minutes of an episode on mute and thought it was a brilliant way to show the sensory deprivation experienced by the innies

In the club freakin it Wilson style

(look at what i have to offer) — this is the spider's nest.

me before and after shooting the gun that removes my jacket and makes me serve face