cherri-ying

Latest Posts by cherri-ying

"I need to be a child again" *cue war flashbacks to my childhood* "oh shit nevermind"

arousal! repulsion! arousal! repulsion! arousal! repulsion! arousal! repulsion!

The brothers karamazov

i was drawing ivan and i was looking at him like… man youre 23 you should be at the club dancing to really bad music and picking up zero bitches

But alas he didnt, so its not my fault he looks like hes having a midlife crisis. 1880s russia is just really rough for 23 year olds

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I need to be the most beautiful girl someone's ever seen I need to be brought flowers on dates I need to cry into someone's arms and I need to be held through the storm until the tears blow over I need to be seen and heard and treasured I need to be touched I need to be cradled I need to be kissed and worshipped and romanced and sexualized I need someone to kill for me and set the world on fire to keep me warm and offer to do the dishes for me despite my insistence I need someone to bring me tea and ibuprofen when I'm on my period I need someone to mourn and rage and weep and be weak with me I need to be ineffably valued I need someone to listen and understand or try to understand even if they can't I need to be someone's one and only even through the worst of the worst and the lowest of lows I need someone to tell me stories to take me away from the horrors I need someone to love me and love me and love me and love me even though they don't have to. SOMEONE PLEASE JUST FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

DUDE 😭

A friend of mine was telling me about some workplace drama and she said one of her coworkers threw himself on the floor and pretended to have a seizure or something to get out of it and my response to that was literally it's giving Pavel Smerdyakov I am truly insufferable

fuck it I’m drunk. The points being articulated in TBK are literally incoherent! Every single idea established is then torn down--- either parodied, deconstructed, inverted, or paralelled at some other point, to such a degree that it turns into idealogical and philosophical soup. "Pro and Contra", as is stated. The ending is bleak, underwhelming, and ineffectual! Alyosha's speech at the end is a failure. He is trying SO hard to follow the doctrine that Father Zossima gave him, that he is needed in the world, he is trying so hard to say the right thing to these poor children but his words pale in comparison to the great suffering that has transpired and will continue to transpire ceaselessly. These children then hear his words and exalt him and the Karamazov family name, that stands for all that is base and sick in the world. Ivan is still sick. His ideology and intellect, all he is and all he has, has failed him. He has a very long reckoning yet to come. Dmitry is still imprisoned and in purgatory. Absolutely everyone has completely failed to acknowledge that Smerdyakov was a human being and their family member, despite the entire idea being repeated, ad nauseum, that we are ALL meant to be "servants to our servants and servants to all men" and our brothers keepers. Despite or even because of all of this, the book is extraordinary. Though he had ideas that any particular reader may disagree with, this incoherence cannot be an accident. Dostoevsky can convey a point to exactness, in all it's complexity, to a degree that rivals any author who has ever lived. Then I am reminded that this was not even meant to be THE Book, this was only ever the PRELUDE to THE Book. This was all just the set up for something. And the payoff of whatever was supposed to be "The Life of a Great Sinner" was robbed from us by his death! And so Dostoevsky himself departs, and takes all the answers with him, into the great mystery. And we are left only with the endless questions, the ineffectual answers, the contradictions, the speculations, and the mystery. Exactly as we are in regards to the questions and ideas posed by all of religion itself. It's the kind of allegory that would be much too on the nose if you tried to put it into a film or a story.

*RIPS OUT MY HAIR* there's nothing like the fulfillment of creation!! *RAMS MY HEAD INTO THE WALL*

Dostoevsky was right, my worst sin is, in fact, destroying and betraying myself for nothing.

— Franz Kafka

OH MY LORD

Sometimes I wonder how my brain works

The Brothers Karamazov as tarot cards 🃏✨

Dmitri Karamazov: The Hanged Man "The Hanged Man suggests an ultimate surrender, sacrifice, or being suspended in time. A letting go at the face of what is inevitable."

Ivan Karamazov: The Devil "The Devil card represents the worst parts of ourselves, the ones we struggle with the most; our shadow and vices, likewise, a state of being trapped and giving away our power."

Alyosha Karamazov: The Fool and The Star 🌟🕊 "The Fool represents a new beginning, taking a leap of faith, naivety yet enjoying beginners's luck and having an optimistic outlook, while The Star signifies hope, and a renewal of spirit."

*me doing anything* wait I need to make sure I'm serving pathetic girlfailure hyperfem sapphic anxious femcel loser rn

wtf is the male loneliness epidemic can we PLEASE turn our attentions to the lesbian vampire scarcity crisis.

Voted time magazine's cutest dictator of the year

searching for some fyodor dostoevsky content but im met with some ugly ass anime guy with a fuck ass bob cut

No thoughts just her feeding me McDonald's sprite by the spoonful when I'm sick and bedridden like that one scene between Raskolnikov and Razumikhin

The way my writing improved dramatically when I switched from writing M/F to F/F needs to be studied I think

the thread I'm hanging on by is an exposed nerve

What if I changed everything about my self and never looked back

Not me yapping to my audience of 0 people

I am the failed experiment god forgot to throw in the trash

I wonder how you'd feel knowing that I'm clawing my way out of the body bag you left me in

Get out of my room mom I'm busy destroying and betraying myself for nothing

Call me Snoop dog the way the standards I set for myself are so fucking high

At the willow tree, straight up "hanging it" . And by "it", haha, well. Let's justr say. Myself

me when I randomly remember I'll never be this age again

voted time magazine's sexiest sacrificial lamb of the year