I Was On Fentanyl The Night My Mom Had Her Heart Attack.

What Jason thinks happened with Tim becoming Robin after him.

Some of my trauma is literally over 18 years old like it’s legally an adult but it won’t move the fuck out of my head??? Get a job and pay some rent buddy.

All healed up Jason who just decides to move back into Wayne manor, and he suddenly takes up his role similar to a 1950’s Housewife with a weapons arsenal. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason in the morning dropping his brothers off to school: I made Lunch you better fucking eat it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ jason in a floral apron making cookies?? Bruce just thinks he’s hallucinating for the first week because that cannot be his murder son

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

he doesn’t even tell anyone he’s back. He just snuck in and took up residence in the kitchen at 1am, making pancakes until the morning

Tim, who only knew Jason through stories and rumours and snuck down the stairs for midnight coffee: who the fuck is that??

What if Alastor yawned like a cat...

The first time the JL meets one of the batfam it’s when they walk into the tower for a meeting and find Batman passed out asleep in a chair and a young man in a black and blue suit drawing a mustache on him.

Their jaws drop. They know Batman doesn't kill but they're pretty sure they're going to witness a murder when he wakes up.

The man hears them come in and straightens up and tosses the marker behind him. "Hello."

The JL isn't really sure how to react as they shuffle in, but the noise wakes Batman up.

Everybody's staring at him and his mustache but he doesn't notice at first and everybody's wondering if they should say something. The young man winks and makes a shushing gesture.

"This is Nightwing. I brought him in because he's relevant to one of our cases. He will not be staying long."

Everybody hesitantly takes their seat. Batman tries to start the meeting, but they're still staring. "What? What are you all staring at?"

Nobody speaks but Superman pulls out his phone, turns the camera on selfie mode and silently hands it over.

Batman stares at his face for a few seconds, jaw grinding.

This is it. Everybody's sure shit's about to go down.

But Batman just takes in a long, deep breath. "Nightwing."

Nightwing just kicks back, putting his feet up on the table. "This is your fault, you know. You wouldn't've passed out like that if you hadn't stayed up for 3 days straight and made yourself vulnerable."

Batman is silent for a minute, clearly trying to contain his anger.

"This better not be sharpie."

Nightwing just shrugs his shoulders. "Guess you’ll just have to find out," he says cheerily.

The JL waits for more, for some kind of reaction but Batman just takes a few deep breaths, threatens that if anyone comments on the mustache they will not like the consequences, then carries on with the meeting.

The JL is baffled, sure that if one of them had tried that they'd be dead by now.

“You wanna fight someone, you fight me” seemed like a silly rule at first. but after there was more than one batkid living in the Manor at the same time, suddenly the prospect of having to spar with Bruce on the mats because you couldn’t stop yourself from throwing a punch at Tim earlier is terrifying.

Wait, so you’re telling me today’s the 4th? What’s next, the 5th? The minor fall? The major lift?

i think the rest of the bats probably forget that Tim actually has a full time job. like an important one. they probably text him all the time like ‘wanna help me with this case’ and Tim’s like ‘can’t sorry I’m in Germany for the next 3 days’ and then all the kids are talking for the next week like ‘wow Tim’s probably in some deep shit with this international case he’s working. can’t imagine what he’s dealing with rn’ and then the week after Tim’s at the manor for dinner and Dick’s like ‘so tell us all the gory details of the case in Germany!’ and Tim just looks at him lost.

‘what case’

‘the reason you had to go undercover in Germany and couldn’t join me and Jason’s stakeout!’

‘i never said i was undercover’

‘why the fuck else would you go to Germany?’

‘business convention’

‘…’

‘…i had to give a seminar- you guys know im a CEO right?’

‘well BRUCE never had to travel when HE ran the company-‘

‘BECAUSE BRUCE WAS SHIT AT HIS JOB THATS WHY A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD HAD TO TAKE OVER’

and Bruce is sat at the end of the table just slightly offended.

sometimes disability does mean inability. and that's fine. "disability doesn't mean inability" is fine, but please follow up with "inability doesn't mean a lack of worth"

I wish kinky sex ed wasn't so stigmatized even among left-leaning "sex positive" circles. Everyone's all "uwu I'm a sub I'll do anything you ask" okay mommy wants you to read The New Bottoming Book so you learn how to sub without hurting yourself since your sex ed up to this point is porn and your ex boyfriend Jared who liked to choke you incorrectly