I know animals and read fanfiction. Name an animal and I could give you a fun fact
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Latest Posts by bonniperinktrance - Page 2
Healthcare is basic human rights. Healthcare should not be exclusive to only the rich.
you're my present this year
For the last time, I am not giving you my penis
a post on here could be like “make sure you litter guys! the earth is actually adapting to digesting different kinds of materials if we stop littering we’re hurting it” and a good handful of you would reblog with “yiikes :0 didnt know this. followers make sure to throw your trash on the ground
When Johnny Comes Back pt7
Howdy! I'm really proud of this one! Please enjoy! it gets funny
idk if you wanted to be tagged in this one too but, @supermegabitchboyexceptimagirl, and of course @beelzebee
I think I should get those tumblr dividers. Also, sorry if you can't understand everything that's said here. You'll know it when you get to it. Its not the end btw.
part1, part2, part3, part4, part5, part6
It’s a quiet night once more, this time you’re in bed, unable to sleep.
It’s been too long. He’s gone. Shot by some guy. Just like in your nightmares
You sigh and look at your clock, 1:26 AM.
ugh
You get up, your cat waking up due to it, and decide to just….pace
You do just that, trying to find reason within your rhyme. You feed makes thudding noises on the cold hard ground.
thud thud thud thud
he’ll be fine
Thud thud thud thud
he’s just recovering
Thud thud
he’s gone
Thud
no he’s not
Thud thud thud
you’ll never be able to see him again
Thud thud thud
you’ll never tell him I love you
Thud thud thud
there’s no more Mactavish finesse
Thud thud thud
he’s reduced to ashes in an urn like in your nightmares
Thud thud drip thud
you look down and realize that a tear has fallen from your face.
sigh
you told yourself that you wouldn’t end up like this. If he’s alive then this is for nothing and if he’s dead….well…then this was just added misery.
You go to the bathroom and wash your face, sniffling a little.
he’s fine
You stare at your face in the mirror, blood rushed to your nose and cheeks, puffy eyed. You didn’t look so good.
You looked tired. You’ve been holding yourself up well right?
Yeah…
Yeah you are!
You could’ve been so much worse but you held up. Even if your eyes look tired and the steady drip of water from your face to the sink makes it unclear whether or not your crying. You weren’t. you’re fine
Ugh. This is why you try not to think of him! You feel so stupid and naive and sensitive and lost and-
“mrow?”
You feel Simon brush up against your leg, stopping your train wreck of thoughts. You smile, he’s so cute no matter how grumpy he is.
“Simon” you say fondly. You lean down and pick him up into your arms, swaying him like a baby as you walk out the bathroom.
Simon’s presence helped but it can only do so much.
You rock him, pet him and scratch him as you continue to pace.
Thud thud thud
you’re so cute Simon
Thud thud thud
you’re precious
Thud thud thud
you know Johnny will come back right?
Thud click thud
you know you’re a little bastard?
Thud thud thud
yeah you know you are? A bastard just like-…..
Thud Creak thud
like….
Thud stomp thud stomp
like……
thud Stomp Thud
.
“Honey, I’m home!”
.
.
.
.
You stand there, eyes wide in shock.
“Johnny?” You whisper but it was too low for even yourself to hear.
“Aye Bonnie, ye miss me?”
Your legs felt frozen as you look at him. A bandage around his head and a few new scars onto him to show off. His bag in one hand.
“What’s wrong lassie? Ye look like ye’ve seen the dead came back tae life” he teases gently, but in a tone that indicates that he missed you.
he’s here
Johnny Came Back
You feel tears pricking your eyes, but he didn’t notice. He drops his bag down and starts walking towards you. Ready to spend his return the same way he usually spends it: watching a movie with an engorgement of take out and smothering you.
“Johnny” you whisper a little louder
Johnny smiles “the one and only. Couldn’t have ye sell my urn to the damn Brits” He chuckled
“Johnny” you whisper once again and this time he catches the weight of your tone and becomes more solemn and sincere. “Aye….it’s me Bonnie….it’s me. I’m home” Your breath hitches and your hand slowly raises to cup his jaw, feeling his overgrown facial hair. He couldn’t shave it to his preferred length.
He drops his head’s weight into your hand, rubbing his cheek into your soft palm, looking softly into your eyes with a smile.
“Johnny” you voice now breaks and your breathing audibly hitches, tears welling in your eyes.
Johnny's eyes widen in shock, as if that was somehow an unexpected reaction.
“Bonnie?”
He tries to comfort you. Tries to think of something to say
“Bonnie I-“
“I thought you were dead Johnny!” You break out.
Johnny looked more shocked. Did you get the wrong information? Or did you just assume the worst?
“No, I-“
“I thought I’d never see you again!” You cry, your shoulders shaking. He looked guilty, he opens his mouth to try to apologize but you do what you should’ve spent he moment he showed his handsome ugly mug. You hug him, tightly. Almost too tight for the worn soldier.
Johnny is startled for a moment before reciprocating, hugging you back with fervor. You wet his shirt with your tears “I thought you were gone Johnny!” You cry, shaking in his arms. “No no lassie don’t cry” he rubs your back as you take lungfuls of his scent, finally being able to breathe it in again after it faded from your home.
He rocks you slightly as you take him all in and muffle all your grievances into his shirt. Eventually he grabs your face and stares into your eyes, his face seeming so tired and pained. Your heart clenches. You should care more about how he’s feeling.
“I’m tae sorry fer words honey, I didn’t think tae tell someone tell ye I’m fine. I just, had a rough time in the hospital an-“
You hug him again “sit down you lug. You need to rest” you gently guide him to his spot on the couch, where he belongs
“How are you feeling? Do you need anything?” You gently ask, cupping his face with both hands and looking at his injury.
He smiles and seemed to relax more that he’s done in a while. He places his rough calloused hands on yours and closes his eyes.
“Aye Bonnie lass, ye could kiss it better” he chuckles, feeling up your hands.
.
.
.
.
he’s had a rough time. Maybe he just needs any form of affection after being hospitalized for so long
You lean in up to his temple where the bandages are and place the most gentle and delicate of kisses on it. Johnny’s breath hitches, you don’t usually kiss him why would you? You’re just friends right?
You wanted to tell him you’re in love with him, or that you wanted him and no one else. But….no. not now, he just came back and…if it’s not reciprocal you don’t want him to deal with that right now. This should be all about him and not you. No, now all you wanted was to make sure that your roommate was okay. That can….come later. If you were willing to risk it. What’s most important is that he’s here and you take care of him. Not your feelings. “Miss me that much Bonnie? I should get shot more often. Then I could get another kiss” He tries to tease but the look on your face was enough to drop the jokes. He becomes more somber, his hands on yours now stroking your forearms. He looks into your eyes, sincerity evident “I missed ye too lassie, didn’t think tae tell ye cuz I dinae think I’d be gone fer so long. Glad to hear I was missed. Nice shirt” he says but it wasn’t the usual teasing tone he had. You look down and sure enough, you’re wearing one of Soap’s shirts as pjs, his scent long done from it. You smile, sniffling a little “I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried Johnny….”
“Aye, I could tell……ye dinae need to worry Bonnie lass, I’m a big strong man”
You huffed a laugh as he rubbed your eyes “Don’t be sad….your big bad sergeant is here.” You lay on top of him, face to neck, just….taking in his presence. He does the same, scratching your scalp, rubbing your back.
He’s back
Johnny came back
Johnny came home
.
.
.
.
After some time, he piped up
“Let’s watch a movie aye? I’m starvin.”
You chuckle, a much lighter and freer laugh than the ones you’ve been making for months. Free from your worries about Johnny
“Of course Johnny. I’ll order you take out”
You kiss his nose. He gives you that signature smile of his.
“Yer spoilin me, love”
“Don’t you forget it”
"how could I ever?"
____________________
It felt so good going back to an old routine. Your movements were unfamiliar and rusty as you sit and eat take out with Johnny at 2:17 AM while a movie was on. He already finished 2 meals but the soldier was still going at it like the dog he was.
“Better than any hospital slop I tells ye!”
You smile, softer and fonder than Johnny remembers, and settle in the routine you remember you had before he left. A blanket tossed over both of you legs, an arm wrapped around some part of you. This time it was around your neck while he ate, a bit awkward but you were not about to complain. He was back and that was all that mattered. He finished up his feast and went back to watching some silly movie based on a tumblr post.
It’s about a random Asian kid whose plane goes down somewhere in Scotland, and he learns traditional Scottish kickboxing. The wise old mentor speaks with an indecipherable Highland accent, Johnny somehow understands and translates for you, and spends the whole film in a full kilt for no particular reason. He goes back to China to reclaim his parent's company made in the style of those "mediocre white boy learns the secrets of ancient martial arts" movies. It’s a funny concept and a movie you’ve been wanting to watch for months but didn’t because….well….Johnny wasn’t here. You couldn’t watch this without him.
And you’re so glad you didn’t because now as Johnny has his warm arm wrapped around you, gentler than usual due to his injuries on his arm. His mouth is near your ear as he ‘translates’ English to English. It doesn’t really matter what he was saying. All that mattered is hearing his raspy deep voice reverberating in your ear. Usually you’d tell yourself you could drag yourself to bed after the movie but you knew couldn’t drag yourself to bed after all this. You wanted to fall asleep on this couch with him. But just before you resigned yourself to that wonderful fate, you remember something.
“Are you going to sleep here Johnny?” You asked
“Aye, can’t anger the sleeping tiger. I won’t move an inch wee Bonnie don’t ye worry”
You sit up and look at him while the movie was Montaging with terrible bagpipe music “No. You need to rest on an actual bed. You’re still recovering”
“Ye dinae need tae worry aboot me love. I’m fi-“
“Johnny.” You say sternly “you’ve been shot in the head don’t BS me now after all that” your voice cracked a bit when you mentioned his terrible injury.
Johnny sighs and smiles “I could get used tae being babied like this”
His tone was teasing but somehow you had a feeling he did wanted to be babied, to be treated and spoken to gently in a way he couldn’t get in a military setting.
You sigh and smile. “One movie okay? Then I’ll run you a bath, rub your back, maybe change your bandages and scratch your hair till you fall asleep in a bed sound good Johnny?” His eyes were enticed but he just had to be a goofy little guy doesn’t he?
“Cannae read me a bedtime story?” He teased. You giggled and nodded. You had a feeling he just wanted to hear your voice “I’ll tell you the story of the ugly duckling. I’m sure you’ll relate” you joke back
“Aye, sing me a lullaby too?”
“You motherfucking bastard.” You roll your eyes with a smile “yeah I’ll sing you a song about how John and Jill when up the hill to fetch a pail of whisky. John fell down and broke his crown and Jill couldn’t see him for months while he was in the hospital.”
“Dinae my fault Bonnie!”
“I know baby I know” you coo, calling him a baby but Soap seemed to be very happy being called that.
“As soon as the movie’s over I’ll show my baby just how much I missed him. Wake me up if I sleep okay? If you don’t you’ll never get that bedtime story ye hear?”
“Yes ma’am”
“Good boy”
You lay back down next to him, continuing to watch the silly movie, the Chinese kid is somehow the chosen one from some ancient Scottish texts made when during some important historical British-Scottish conflict. How did they seriously think that a dizi (bamboo flute) mixed with a bagpipe would make a good soundtrack? And how are they right?
Whatever, it’s not like you were paying much attention when Johnny was stroking your arm right next to you, leaning in and rubbing his scratchy chin against yours, murmuring comments and ‘translations’ that may not even be that accurate. God you missed him. The movie ends with a Scottish themed “Kung Fu fighter” esque credits song.
He automatically hums something about putting on another movie. “Johnny it’s like 3 and a half in the morning”
“Dinnae care Bonnie. Missed ye”
“C’mon Johnny, I’ll tuck you in bed” you tease He grips you tighter into him “I’m tucked in enough like this”
You smile, wide and so happy.
“C’mon Johnny” you whisper into his ear, scratching his scalp, careful to avoid the injury “those clothes can’t be comfortable. Let’s change into something nicer hmm?”
He sighs contently “only if ye keep that up Bonnie…..feels like heaven”
“Deal”
You leave him to turn on the bath faucet, making sure it’s the right temperature before going back to clean up the take out. He tried to help but you told him firmly to “stay” and like a good boy he does. He watches you walk around the flat like a puppy, eyes glued to your form and glimmering so fondly.
You check the bath and it’s ready.
As you turn to call for him “Johnn-“ you bump into him directly. He followed you here, unable to be away from you. You huff a laugh and lean on him.
“Take a bath Johnny. You could use one of my bath bombs too.”
“Stay with me?” He whines
“I’m not gonna watch you bathe Johnny. You clingy dog.” You chuckle and flick his nose “but I’ll be waiting for you when you come out okay?”
You walk out, feeling his lingering gaze on your back. You go get his bed ready.
It’s…not clean. You’re not proud to admit you’ve slept here on more than one occasion due to his absence. It was a mess of Soap’s belongings. A pile of clothes, some things that reminded you of him, things of the like. You clean it up, place a new bedsheet and pillow case, along with a plushie of a kitten with a mohawk, a gift from you.
(The kitten. Image description: a cute kitten with what looks like a mohawk of fur on it's head. end/ID)
(i-it looks better in the story! but the collar is still there /ID a plushie of the mohawk kitten but it looks crudely made and grumpy with a spiky collar /end ID)
You were admiring your clean up before your were startled by a strong set of hands around your waist and a head into your neck and shoulder. “Johnny! You scared me” He breaths in your scent, while being towel clad “hmm….Bonnie…”
You giggle and turn around, your smile dropping when come face to face with his bared chest. There were more bandages you didn’t see before, new scars and burns. You tsk, gently touching the bandages as he gazed at you “you poor thing…they must hurt so much….”
“…..”
you look up at him “do they hurt? Do you need me to change them or painkillers?”
“I’m fine lovie…”
You shake your head “I left some at your bedside just in case darling.”
“…thank you lassie…what would I do without ye?”
“Die in a ditch apparently”
He smiles, rubbing his thumbs on your waist.
“Never leave me…”
I blush a little at how he said that. Like it wasn’t just a roommate thing. “Never…..let’s get you to bed. I’m sure you’re so tired”
“Nae, I still got an enough for that bedtime story and lullaby”
You laugh “you're such a baby…okay get dressed”
He, being the bastard he is, decided to go “aye” and take off his towel right then and there.
You squeak in surprise and avert your eyes
“Johnny!!”
“What? Like what you see?”
You whine and mumble as he laughs “get dressed!”
You hear a chuckle and him opening the closet, a moment later he speaks “Ye can look now hen”
You turn around and low and behold he didn’t even put on anything “JOHNNY!” You slap your hands over your eyes as he laughs.
“What’s the matter hen?”
“JOHNNY I SWEAR TO GOD-“
“Aye aye, I’ll get dressed.”
You hear some movement as he wears actual clothes, not a lot of clothes but still something
“You can look now, fer real this time”
“So you’re decent?”
“Not morally but I’m wearing pants”
You turn to look and lo and behold this man only put boxers on.
You groan and roll your eyes
“How’s that decent Sergeant Soap?”
“Cannae see my tadger. And it’s Johnny to you.”
You pretty much can see it honestly but you let him.
“Lay on your stomach”
“Be gentle with me hen”
“Of course”
“I’ve been a good boy”
“Shut it”
“Yes ma’am”
You look at the tragic state of his back, pity pulling at your heartstrings.
“Tell me if it hurts too much okay?”
“You can never hurt me hen.”
“Johnny.”
“Aye aye, I will”
You sigh and pull out some oils you have along with a muscle gel that should alleviate any pain he’s brushing off in favor of seeming strong or okay. You know he's usually sore after expending himself so much during his job.
“Yer spolin’ me bloody rotten”
“Shush”
You climb on the bed and gently rub in the oil first
“Nae, could barely feel it.”
You press harder
“It tickles”
You press harder
“Das it”
You roll you eyes and do this. Feeling your face heat up every time he groans and sighs. You later put on the muscle relaxant and he sighs and groans even louder, his voice becoming even deeper due to his tiredness, making your insides mushy.
“Oh…right there…hmm…lower”
You go lower
“Lower”
Alright…
“Lower”
“Any lower and I’ll be touching your ass”
“Aye”
“Okay that’s enough time for bed” you get off him and he whines
“Nooo. I’m so sorry bonnie please come back. I’ll behave”
“Oh really? Never seen you behave once in your life Mactavish” you scold as you put away the things
“Gie me a laldy then”
“Goodnight Johnny” you turn to leave
“No! Wait!” He jumps and yanks you from behind.
“What is it Johnny?”
“Ye Haven’t tucked me in with a bedtime story yet.” He whines
You sigh but secretly you’re smiling wide at his antics, just glad to go through them again. Leave it to Johnny to overcommit to the bit.
“Aight here’s your bedtime story Ya wee sook” you reply, turning to face him. He was shocked “Ya we- where did ye learn tha’?”
“I learnt it from a very sexy Scottish lad once upon a time” you say as you start literally tucking him into bed, the bastard really has you wrapped around his finger.
His face turns red and his smile wide and bright like the sun.
“An’ do I ken this mysterious Scottish lad?”
“Aye” you mimic his accent
He chuckles “tell me about him” he lays down under the covers laying on his side away from the injury. You think for a moment, then a deeply devious and mischievous look came on your face. You grin and began describing.
“He’s sexy, charming, funny, he’s got a cute pet, he’s a like knight who saves princesses, he’s large and strong with a Scottish accent.” You list off as Soap’s face goes brighter and happier. He wouldn’t say ‘save princesses’ but he wasn’t going to really correct you. If you see him as a hero who is he to complain
“I wouldn’t say that. What else?”
“Oh but of course he was. His people were in trouble, and he went out to save them” he shook his head, adorable wee civi aintcha?
You continue “He lived alone for a very long time till he met one woman he began to live with”
“Was she pretty?”
“The fairest in the land” He chuckles and settles in more, getting comfortable as you tell this grown ass man his fucking bedtime story
“what happened?”
“They got married”
His eyes widen in shock as his face and ears turn a hot red. He clears his throat that suddenly became very dry. Did…did this mean what he think it meant?
“Tha’ right?”
“Hmm hmm”
“I like the sounda that”
“Then they lived happily ever after”
Soap looked at you with shocked eyes
“Tha’ so?”
“Hmm hmm”
He quickly put a mask of faux confidence, putting on his big goofy smile. Pride swells in your heart for making him smile so brightly. He clearly needed it.
“And who May this dashing man be?”
“I’ll give you a hint”
“Aye”
“His name starts with an S”
He chuckles
“I think I ken who it is Bonnie”
“Oh really?” You ask, your face growing more excited “who is it”
He pulls his arm out from under the blanket and wraps it around you “tis’ me, Soap. And it’s Johnny to you sweetheart”
His grip tightens as he drags you closer to him, he shoves his face into your stomach, his heart suddenly beating too fast. Is this….your confession? Did you really just say you’ll marry him? Looks like those military spouse benefits are too tempting. He looks up, eyes hopeful and ready for his dreams to come true. That you’ll become Mrs Mactavish and he’s your Prince Charming.
“Wrong.” You suddenly say.
.
.
.
.
.
.
“Wha?”
“I said wrong”
“T…then who’s the big strong sexy Scottish lad who marries the fairest in the land?”
“Shrek”
.
.
.
.
“Ye. fuckin’. right. SleEkiT bAmPOT!!”
You burst out laughing hard, doubling over and laughing so hard you collapse on the bed with him. But he doesn’t appreciate that
“Away an’ bile ye head! ye absolute weapon!” He practically yells
“Yer a right glaikit shan wee gobshite! Ye fuckin’ bastard cunt!!”
He raves and raves unintelligibly as you seem to get a six pack just from how hard you’re laughing and occasionally snorting like a pig. You’ve never heard so many Scottish insults in your life. Or at least you would hear them if you weren’t laughing!
Eventually, he shuts up and your laughs slow down. You look at Soap after wiping away your joyful tears. But unfortunately, The look on his face made you burst into laughter all over again.
“Alright alright that’s enough” he huffs and shakes his head, throwing an arm around your face to quiet you.
“Okay okay! I’m done!” You claim, your laughter lowering.
Johnny looked so done with you it was priceless. You were still in a fit of giggles as he shook his head
“Seriously hen? Shrek?”
“Whaaat?” You ask as if you could feign innocence as you’re giggling uncontrollably
“Shrek is the big sexy scott?”
“Yeah!” You laugh
“He bathes in mud Bonnie! He’s nasty” he says disgusted as if he doesn't have worse hear me outs
“And you’re not?”
“Oh that’s it ye-“ he jumps you and harshly man handles you. Pinning you with his big weight, restricting your breathing by pressing on your chest, just being an overall rough housing bastard. It’s not bad enough to cause actual legitimate harm but it’s rougher than he’s ever been with you.
“Johnnyy! Mercy I beg you!” You whine, trying to squirm away and kicking up your legs
“There’s no Johnny here now leannan! Now it’s sergeant Soap! And yer taking discipline!”
You wheeze at the lack of oxygen his man handling is doing, you didn’t have much in you anyway from laughing so much. He growls into your ear and pins your squirmy hands to your chest.
“Johnnyyy! I can’t breathe!” You wheeze out
“Shrek eh?”
You breathlessly giggle at your joke
“Shrek is the sexy charming and funny man who taught you what a wee sook is?”
You wheeze another giggle, unable to stop laughing at the joke.
“Anyone else?”
You try to wheeze an answer “s-s..”
but he doesn’t understand so he lets go. You breath in a desperate deep breath
“Answer the question lassie.”
“What question?” You tease, giggling. He growls and places his pillow on your face to quiet you
“Who’s the charming Scotsmen that makes ye laugh!”
He removes the pillow to get an answer
“Scrooge McDuck”
“You wee lil shite!” He smothers you with the pillow again, so you won’t even have a chance to laugh.
He removes the pillow as you wheeze with a smile
“Wrong answer”
“Whaaat? He’s funny!”
“Tsk. Who’s the Scottish soldier who’s strong and witty”
“James Bond”
“Leannan!!!” He wraps his arm around you in a headlock, he’s done that plenty times before and even taught you how to do it and get out of it, it almost slipped your mind due to your giggling.
You do try to get out of it but he just tightens his hold
“Think ye’re strong, do ye lassie? I’ll show ye strong, ya wee twig!” He growls
“Johnny!” You whine “mercy!”
“No mercy to the enemy bonnie.” He bites your cheek
“Eww! You dog!” You whine and squirm “okay okay you win!”
She shakes his head, mouth still filled with your cheek “Johnny! Please! You’re gross!”
He bites harder
“Away with ye ya daftie!” You poorly mimic He laughs and lets go. You rub your saliva covered cheek on his bicep.
“You’re gross. Let go”
“Nae”
“Johnny.” You try to be stern
“Nah. You need to tell me who th-“
“It’s you! It’s you Johnny! You’re the big, strong, funny, charming Scot that saves princesses!” He lets go, letting you drop on the bed with a thud.
“That’s right lass. Say it again”
“It’s you Johnny. You’re the one I wait in my tower for.”
“Tha’ right?” He says, smiling down at you
“Yeah…it is…”
He smiles and lays down once more
“Either that or Hagrid”
“Bonnie.” He asserts sternly
“Sorry sorry Johnny”
“Brat.”
“Bastard.”
“Your bastard.”
“Your brat.”
You both shake your heads. You sigh and realize how tired you are. You look to the digital clock on Johnny's bedside table. Jesus.
“I’m so sorry Johnny” you get up
“What is it?” He asks, lost
“Just look at the time! A little more and it’ll be sunrise. You need to rest after all that” you hop off the bed but Johnny grips you
“Naee. I’m fine” he whines. Truth was he was exhausted down to the bone, but this was the most affectionate you’ve ever been.
“What is it Johnny?” You sigh
“I haven’t gotten my lullaby”
You groan. You were tired too but you wanted to take care of him.
“Please Bonnie! My heart needs tae be soothed after all tha’. Ye called me nasty :(”
“You’re a big baby Mactavish”
“Aye” he shoves you back to sit on the edge of the bed. You start to lightly scratch his scalp.
“I….don’t have a song..”
“Anythin’s good”
“🎶Somebody once told me th-“
He pinches your waist
“Hahaha, okay not that one”
“…”
“Hmm….🎶we’re no strangers go love. You know the rules and so do-Ouch!”
He grumbles as you giggle
“Then what do you want baby?”
“Quit takin the piss outta me” he grunts “sing…somethin’ calmin’” You think for a bit and a song comes to mind, you think a solider like him could do some good knowing his song.
(A/N: I’m so sorry for what you’re about to sing)
“🎶There's a shadow on the wall, stay calm, stay calm 🎶
🎶There's a figure in the hall, stay calm, stay calm🎶
🎶Keep my wits and stay alive, wish I had a nine to five 🎶
🎶There's a stranger in us all, stay calm, stay calm🎶”
He relaxes and listens intently. Finally a normal song, he thinks foolishly
“🎶Every hair is on it's end, that's fine, I'm fine🎶
🎶Feeling my adrenaline, that's fine I'm fine 🎶
🎶I can keep away the creeps, safely from my swivel seats🎶 🎶Something's crawling through the vents, that's fine I’m fine🎶”
You start humming to him while scratching his head gently. He sighs and cuddles up to your waist more, rubbing his bandaged head gently against you.
“🎶In the end there's only me alright, alright 🎶
🎶 Morning sun will set me free, all right, all right🎶”
His face was calm and droopy, ready to rest his tired war used bones. He looked like he could sleep through the winter.
“🎶I spent..um…many months away from you🎶”
You hum him the tune as he falls asleep, looking peaceful.
After you’re done you sit there admiring him for a moment, seeing him home, not in one piece but home made you take the time to appreciate his presence.
You yawn, realizing that you could see the sunrise peeking from the curtains. Wow it’s late, but it’s worth it. He’s had such a rough time and deserves all the comfort you could give him. You slowly and quietly try to leave the bed, thinking he’s asleep. Only for him, the baby he is, to grip you hard and force you into bed
“Johnny!” You whine, this time whinnier than ever.
“Give me a kiss goodnight princesses”
“Johnny.”
“Please leannan? Last thing I’ll ask o’ ye and I’ll sleep” he sleepily grumbles while gripping you like a stuffed animal. You felt so….vulnerable like this. You’ve never been in his bed with him.
“Promise?”
“Aye”
“Pinky promise?” You tease
“Aye aye just gimmie a Smourich and I’ll sleep”
“Sigh”
“Please”
“Fine” you wiggle in his iron grip to lean up to him and give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. He smiles, eyes still closed as he settles in one last time. “Goodnight love.”
“Goodnight Johnny” you smile, moving to get out of his grip and go to b-you can’t get out.
Johnny's grip is strong around you. “Johnny?” You pipe up and wiggle to try and move away. He doesn’t budge
“Johnny.” You more firmly and look up to see his sleeping face as if he knocked out cold within seconds of getting a goodnight kiss. “Johnny!” You whine “you bastard! Let me go”
No response
“Johnnyyy!!!” You flop like a fish in his grip but nope! Too bad! You’re stuck!
“Johnny I know you’re awake I swear to god if you don’t let me go right now!”
No response but you swear he’s doing this on purpose. You groan and struggle for a few more moments till you feel a soft furry mass lay on your side, Simon. He fell asleep on the couch after the movie and a joyful (as joyful as Simon could he) reunion with Johnny. You freeze up as Simon gets comfortable, laying on you. You wouldn’t wake up a cat would you? Especially not one so grumpy and tired. No, you sit there without moving a muscle and wait. Cat owner rules.
Welp….looks like you’re sleeping in a big man’s arms tonight. The position makes you flustered but between the unconsciousness of the bastard sergeant, the softness of your cat and your sleep deprived mind body and soul. You decide fuck it and just fell asleep in your roommate’s bed. It’s cozy like this anyway. You’re knocked out cold within the minute.
AN: This is NOT the end!
I think there's something to be said that saying the words "Deny, Defend, Depose, you're next" to an insurance sales rep can get you arrested for 'threats of mass homicide' or whatever with a threat of 15 years in prison
But when I was a manager in a fast food restaurant I've had customers throw food at me, demand for my personal phone number with an added threat of "Well I'll just have to FIND it", customers charging past the front counter to physically intimidate me and my coworkers, screaming and swearing, demands to know what time I get out of work, demands to know when my manager would be at work as a threat, people sitting in their car waiting for me to finish closing because they were angry at me, causing me to stay in the office watching the camera waiting for them to drive away...
But none of those incidents are arrest-able offenses, not one, any time I called the cops on any customer I would just hear excuses like " "there isn't anything illegal about calling a restaurant", that nothing physical happened and therefore there's nothing they could do, to call back and let them know if anything else happens
Idk, just think it's A TEENY TINY BIT ODD
Cop in the news goes "words have consequences" as if people don't berate and threaten fast food and retail workers every day
the edit itself
this edit is getting taken down from tiktok every time someone reuploads it, its straight up censorship at this point
Im not even american but im having a great time with this
DONT LET THIS DIE
credit to miraculousgastropod for the original
When Johnny Comes Back
A/N: I read this and was inspired to write. I hope anyone who sees this enjoys it. Tell me if you'd like a part two.
Roommate!Johnny that made It feel inevitable.
He was just so…so….him! His bastard attitude, his fuckass Mohawk he made you like tolerate, his motherfucking Shrek accent. No, you won’t stop calling it that. It’s stupid and silly which is why you smile or look down when he talks to you, no other reason.
You’ve just…grown so fond of Johnny! ugh! How could he! The fondness grows in your heart like a cancerous growth with the only respite coming in the form of Johnny…..of.. Soap going on deployment for long periods of time, making you feel like a young doe-eyed maiden in the 1940s wistfully awaiting the return of her man from the war. The feeling only exacerbated every time you check to see if Sergeant John “Soap” Mactavish has send back a letter.
Yes, a letter
Security restrictions, he says. As if that makes the feeling of being hooked on him easier to mask as you sit down and physically write to him that you’re……checking on him.
(Why don’t you perfume the letter and kiss it while you’re at it Simp)
But you know these feelings will go back to being strong when Johnny comes back. As soon as you hear the “honey I’m home!” And get crushed in the arms of a clingy Johnny you’ll be happy to see him.
You decide to be generous and send him a care package, as a thank you to all the times he’s ordered you breakfast and took care of you when you were sick, better now than when Johnny comes back, you suppose. You remember all he does when he’s here. Especially when you were sick he insisted on spoon feeding you like a baby. He ruffled your hair so gently as he coos that you’re the most adorable chipmunk, all puffy faced and squeaky. You remembered how you huffed, too weak to properly go off or even refute his incessant desire to hand feed you. He smiled and chuckled at your frowny and pouty tired face. He rubbed your back and beamed when you were well enough and no longer irritated at him enough to thank him for taking care of you. You remember that adorable look in his face. And you want to see it again when Johnny comes back, that roguish smile with slightly crooked teeth scrunching up a nose that clearly looked like it was broken one too many times, those shiny blue eyes that gripped you like vice, thos-
BZZ!
Some notification from your phone brings you back to reality, what were you doing again? Oh yeah, making a care package. You check your phone, nothing important.
You look at what you’ve added so far.
You first packed a bottle of scotch, technically against the rules but you put it inside a flask and shampoo bottles. You know he’ll figure it out…probably.
Then you packed some candy he likes, instant coffee (better than what he gets), the letter you wrote him, it felt too romantic and like you really were a yearning maiden staring at the window awaiting your man so you made sure you called him a bastard at least 6 times, a dog 4, and a cunt 2 and Shrek once
And yet, as you try and place the letter you still feel shy, as if it’s still too personal. It still has the fondness you feel for him as you wrote how worried you are and that “you better not do anything stupid Johnny! Don’t die or I’ll make sure to sell your ashes to the British museum as Ancient Highlander Remains” you became more embarrassed about your feelings without him here to convince you of it’s normalcy by being overbearing. you hide it under some items as if that won’t allow him to find it anyway. You place some hygiene products, hand sanitizer, another scotch just in case, an adorable picture of your grumpy black cat with a RBF that Johnny named Simon for some reason. Should you add another scotch? Nah you could share this one when Johnny comes back.
You chuckle to yourself, okay now you’re spoiling him. When Johnny comes back he’ll be all smug and egotistical, boasting loudly about how much you missed him and how he’ll definitely use this as a way to embarrass you in front of your friends again.
You try to calm your heart in these times. You try to quell the craving of a soft body on movie nights, but a pillow near his residual scent on the couch doesn’t ruffle your hair like you’re a pet like he does. You try not to yearn a bastardly attitude when you want to complain about something, but there’s no one there to be a bigger problem than the one you were upset about.
You sigh, at least you could sleep in your bed after a movie instead of upright on a pyromaniac Scottish lad.
He never gives concrete dates on his return. It’s always a vague timeframe like “a few months” or “when it’s done”
It’s…part of the reason you think you’d never end up with him. You thought about his absence, his risky lifestyle, his fuckboy attitude.
You sigh…at least you’ll have more to catch up on when Johnny comes back.
Part 2
When Johnny Comes Back
A/N: I read this and was inspired to write. I hope anyone who sees this enjoys it. Tell me if you'd like a part two.
Roommate!Johnny that made It feel inevitable.
He was just so…so….him! His bastard attitude, his fuckass Mohawk he made you like tolerate, his motherfucking Shrek accent. No, you won’t stop calling it that. It’s stupid and silly which is why you smile or look down when he talks to you, no other reason.
You’ve just…grown so fond of Johnny! ugh! How could he! The fondness grows in your heart like a cancerous growth with the only respite coming in the form of Johnny…..of.. Soap going on deployment for long periods of time, making you feel like a young doe-eyed maiden in the 1940s wistfully awaiting the return of her man from the war. The feeling only exacerbated every time you check to see if Sergeant John “Soap” Mactavish has send back a letter.
Yes, a letter
Security restrictions, he says. As if that makes the feeling of being hooked on him easier to mask as you sit down and physically write to him that you’re……checking on him.
(Why don’t you perfume the letter and kiss it while you’re at it Simp)
But you know these feelings will go back to being strong when Johnny comes back. As soon as you hear the “honey I’m home!” And get crushed in the arms of a clingy Johnny you’ll be happy to see him.
You decide to be generous and send him a care package, as a thank you to all the times he’s ordered you breakfast and took care of you when you were sick, better now than when Johnny comes back, you suppose. You remember all he does when he’s here. Especially when you were sick he insisted on spoon feeding you like a baby. He ruffled your hair so gently as he coos that you’re the most adorable chipmunk, all puffy faced and squeaky. You remembered how you huffed, too weak to properly go off or even refute his incessant desire to hand feed you. He smiled and chuckled at your frowny and pouty tired face. He rubbed your back and beamed when you were well enough and no longer irritated at him enough to thank him for taking care of you. You remember that adorable look in his face. And you want to see it again when Johnny comes back, that roguish smile with slightly crooked teeth scrunching up a nose that clearly looked like it was broken one too many times, those shiny blue eyes that gripped you like vice, thos-
BZZ!
Some notification from your phone brings you back to reality, what were you doing again? Oh yeah, making a care package. You check your phone, nothing important.
You look at what you’ve added so far.
You first packed a bottle of scotch, technically against the rules but you put it inside a flask and shampoo bottles. You know he’ll figure it out…probably.
Then you packed some candy he likes, instant coffee (better than what he gets), the letter you wrote him, it felt too romantic and like you really were a yearning maiden staring at the window awaiting your man so you made sure you called him a bastard at least 6 times, a dog 4, and a cunt 2 and Shrek once
And yet, as you try and place the letter you still feel shy, as if it’s still too personal. It still has the fondness you feel for him as you wrote how worried you are and that “you better not do anything stupid Johnny! Don’t die or I’ll make sure to sell your ashes to the British museum as Ancient Highlander Remains” you became more embarrassed about your feelings without him here to convince you of it’s normalcy by being overbearing. you hide it under some items as if that won’t allow him to find it anyway. You place some hygiene products, hand sanitizer, another scotch just in case, an adorable picture of your grumpy black cat with a RBF that Johnny named Simon for some reason. Should you add another scotch? Nah you could share this one when Johnny comes back.
You chuckle to yourself, okay now you’re spoiling him. When Johnny comes back he’ll be all smug and egotistical, boasting loudly about how much you missed him and how he’ll definitely use this as a way to embarrass you in front of your friends again.
You try to calm your heart in these times. You try to quell the craving of a soft body on movie nights, but a pillow near his residual scent on the couch doesn’t ruffle your hair like you’re a pet like he does. You try not to yearn a bastardly attitude when you want to complain about something, but there’s no one there to be a bigger problem than the one you were upset about.
You sigh, at least you could sleep in your bed after a movie instead of upright on a pyromaniac Scottish lad.
He never gives concrete dates on his return. It’s always a vague timeframe like “a few months” or “when it’s done”
It’s…part of the reason you think you’d never end up with him. You thought about his absence, his risky lifestyle, his fuckboy attitude.
You sigh…at least you’ll have more to catch up on when Johnny comes back.
Source: urbankittenranch
minecraft movie but it’s a ghibli-esque animated film about surviving in the wilderness with a healthy balance of legitimately tense monster sequences and relaxing building, farming, and mining. under no circumstances will it be longer than 90 minutes. steve will not be white
I never see someone say this so I thought I’d say it then. This applies to any fandom really.
I never see someone say this so I thought I’d say it then. This applies to any fandom really.
Ok so we all love a hyperfixation but does anyone else ever avoid certain things because you feel like you don't have the time to be fixated on that, or that you aren't in the right headspace for this to become your latest obsession
one of the worst adhd things ever is wanting to trick yourself into doing tasks so you make up fake deadlines to give yourself a sense of pressure but then your adhd goes ‘is that a Real deadline with immediate consequences or a fake one to make our life more organized? :/‘ and then you go ‘it’s a fake one to make our life more organized 😔’ and then the task doesn’t get done
when u touch an unaware cat and they make that small surprised sound reblog if u agree
I wish there were more fanfictions that are less focused around character x character. As nice fan fiction is; there really is so much potential. what if talon recruits Hammond and Winston remembers his kind-of-but-not-really- brother? Will Zenyatta’s harmony be disturbed by Widowmaker? Will Bastion live in peace for the rest of his robo life? Will the smooth taking cowboy and stoic archer canonically make subtle eye contact , driving the fans insane? (I hope not honestly) Why is Winston on the human’s side? Will Tracer’s s/o be safe from talon? Will Widowmaker warn Lena? Was Reaper brainwashed by Moira during the Blackwatch days?
ovw is such a frustrating game bc the characters have such great potential. like. lucio and symmetra are absolute perfect foils, but we arent ever gonna get anything that fully explores that. roadhogs character has incredible room for growth, for exploring personal sacrifice for a greater cause, loss of humanity, coping with loss, but hes in canon just a comic relief character. fareeha is incredible like i cant even begin w how she can tie in w so many aspects of the lore. we arent gonna get anything. also winston is a talking ape from space.
It would appear that the sun is in a direct overhead position.
Mccree for my weekly Patreon sketch poll. :)
old zenyatta commission, i really like how i did the colouring here tbh! Mar 2017
retweet here
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.
Overwatch icons! Credit isn’t necessary, just like/reblog please (part 2 of 3)
That was beautiful! I liked it before and thought I’ll read it later but now that I have🥲🥲
Forgive me... (listen to "I'm still here" from treasure planet while you read)
Cole sat in a bar, alone with nothing but alcohol and his thoughts to keep him company, he pulled an old photograph out of his pocket and unfolded it to reveal the day of his high school graduation, all of his overwatch friends were there as he held his diploma proudly, Gabe was on the right next to him with a proud smile and a hand on young Cole’s shoulder, Jack was on Cole's left with his arms crossed and a proud smile on his face as well.
Cole would have smiled at the photo if he hadn’t just learned that those proud smiles on the faces of the two men he looked up to were lies...
Cole had run into Reaper not too long ago, he made a remark about the bounty talon had on him and how it was a bit lower than the other agents', "A proper amount for someone as worthless as you, ingrate. Looks like 20 years didn't change anything."
The cowboy felt his heart shatter when he heard that, he could usually take Reapers insults, but that one... It hit Cole hard, he had hoped the man he saw as a father figure and mentor would've still cared about him even a little... But those hopes were dashed when he heard that. Reaper suddenly found himself in a chokehold, he could feel Cassidy was trying to snap his neck... Usually the cowboy would hold back a little but his strength was demonic and he couldn't break free, he remembered his wraith ability at the right moment and escaped. Leaving Cole alone to sob his eyes out after hearing how his parental figure thought he had always been worthless.
Cole's eyes welled up as he continued to look at the picture, he thought Jack at least still loved him but that thought was gone as well after their last encounter. Cole had gotten injured in a fight and Soldier 76 was there, Cole looked at the man for help but he felt a coldness behind the visor... He then said that his opportunity to be in overwatch had been a waste... That was the last straw, Cole quickly pulled himself up and used deadeye, Jack said something to him but Cole had tuned him out and walked off to find Angela for help.
Cole crumpled the photo and threw it into the nearest trash can before walking out, he got on his bike and rode off, trying his hardest to not break down sobbing.
The team had noticed the change in Cassidy, he was colder, less bubbly and cocky, and every morning he was hungover, D.va approached the man and offered him a Nano Cola. "C'mon Mr. Cassidy, we're your friends, you can tell us what's on your mind." She said calmly.
Cole took the soda and took a long sip. "Hana... Have you ever had yer heart ripped out by people ya looked up to?..." He asked, Hana was caught off guard by this but so was everyone else, who hurt Cassidy so much that he was this depressed? Everyone sat down with Cassidy and listened as he told them everything, he was holding back tears but when Fareeha hugged him the floodgates opened.
The entire team was pissed, Ana and Angela refused to help Jack with his Biotic field, Reinhardt gave him a cold glare, Fareeha wouldn't even respond to his jabs anymore. They all made him know why he was now despised. "You hurt your son." Was their answer, Jack knew what they were referring to, at first he denied it, saying he didn't regret what he said, but that opinion changed after his next encounter with Reyes.
Reaper was standing on the roof of a building, looking at a piece of paper. Jack approached him from behind ready to shoot when Reaper spoke. "We hurt him... He trusted us... And we hurt him..." He said quietly, Jack looked confused, Reaper turned to him and took off his mask to reveal his face, it was a look of shame, guilt, and heartbreak, he offered the paper to Jack who snatched it and looked at it, he felt his own heart break when he saw what it was. It was the photo Cole had crumpled up and thrown away. "Sombra shoved it into my hands telling me he threw it away... She said I was clearly beyond saving if I was willing to abandon the man I had cared for..." Gabe said quietly, Jack took off his visor and looked at his former friend. "What have we done?... He trusted us and we broke his heart..." He replied, finally breaking and crying. "Ana showed me surveillance footage... He was at our graves screaming and crying... he shot them until his gun was empty... he still kept pulling the trigger..."
There was no coming back from this... Jack and Gabe would never be able to make up for what they had done... faking their death was bad but destroying their son was worse... They had given him hope, a purpose in life, a family... and they took that from him all because of their own self hatred and anger...
Cole was sitting in his room on base when he got a message on his phone, it was from an unknown number, asking him to come outside. He walked out and saw them, Jack and Gabe standing there, no weapons, no masks. "What do you want? I thought I was worthless to ya both..." He spat, looking away from them.
"Mijo... We're so so sorry..." Gabe started. "We have been angry with ourselves for so long and we ended up letting that hurt you... You're our son and we hurt you..." Jack added, Cole tensed up and still didn't look at them. "Was it all a lie?... Was I just a burden this whole damn time?... You said those things with no hesitation... You must’ve meant it..." He asked.
"No! It wasn't true at all! Cole, we're so proud of you, you have become a better man than either of us... Ever since the explosion we've been trying to find out how everything went wrong... We became angry and bitter... I personally am jealous of how great you are and how much you've grown..." Jack replied.
Cole finally looked at them, tears flowing down his cheeks. "I thought you guys were dead... When I heard you guys were alive I was so happy, pissed off but happy... And then you both insult me... callin' me ingrate, a waste... I let you guys arrest me, I coulda fought back and escaped durin' that sting but I didn't... Because I thought that if I left Deadlock, I could become a better person... I left behind friends that cared about me and had my back t' join you guys... I left behind Ashe... I took all yer advice, I trained hard, I finished school, I followed yer orders... All t' do the right thing, all because I thought I found somethin' better... And look what that got me..." He said. "I don't wanna be hurt again... Just leave me alone..."
Cole was about to walk inside when Gabe wraithed in front of him and hugged him tightly, the cowboy tried to pull away but he started crying in his dad's arms. "Mijo I am so sorry... I should have never said you were stupid, you're the smartest guy I know, you always have a plan and you're such a good leader." Gabe said softly, Jack walked over and hugged Cole as well. "You're not a waste either, you're one of the best agents Overwatch could ask for, I couldn't be more proud of you than I am right now." He added.
Cole just continued to cry and crumbled into his fathers' arms as they apologized over and over, telling him how proud they were and how grateful they were to have him as their son. The cowboy ended up crying himself to sleep and Gabe picked him up, Jack allowed him inside and they took Cole to his room. "This is familiar, isn't it?" Gabe commented, Jack nodded and chuckled.
They tucked Cole into bed and after exiting the room, they saw the entire team looking at them, the old soldiers looked away awkwardly, Ana approached them and slapped them. "Don't ever do that to Cole again you got that?" She threatened, the two nodded in understanding. "Good, now Gabriel are you gonna come to your senses and come home?" She asked, Gabe smiled. "If you'll let me, I got a lot of apologies to make." He joked.
The next morning, Cole woke up and found himself tucked into bed just like how Gabe did it when he cried himself to sleep, he sat up and his bedroom door opened, Gabe walked in carrying a tray of Cole's favourite breakfast. "Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked, placing down the tray, Cole stared at his dad for a moment before hugging him tightly. "Please... Don't leave me again... And don't say those things again..." He pleaded quietly, Gabe hugged him back. "I promise I'll stay, and I swear to God I will never ever say those things again." He replied softly.
Cole smiled a little as tears welled up in his eyes again. "I missed you dad..."
Gabe teared up a little as well. "I missed you too mijo..."
I made stew. It was awesome. I love potatoes.
why follow your dreams when you can follow me on tumblr
Thirst.png
Genji Shimada + TV Tropes
ᴇɴᴅʟᴇss ʟɪsᴛ ᴏғ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ - ᴍᴇʀᴄʏ (ᴏᴠᴇʀᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ)
“𝑫𝒊𝒅 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂 𝒅𝒐𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓?”