we are like five shows into this tour and it has already been so incredible and shows such healing and bravery in so many ways. patrick playing from soul punk (an album that was poorly received and made at a really hard time for him). pete performing baby annihilation (delivering his own lyrics alone on stage in front of everyone instead of giving them to patrick or even simply screaming them). the existence of the surprise song where they play songs they haven’t played in years. joe playing on the tour at all. the little smiles and touches they’re all exchanging all night.
before stardust came out they talked about this record starting something new for fall out boy, and this tour so far has made it so clear that they were exactly right.
margot, trying to flirt: are you the big spoon or the little spoon? feyd-rautha: i'm a knife. his harpies, from across the room, in chorus: he's the little spoon
no wonder feyd passed his gom jabbar, he's been like an animal in a trap his whole life he's probably used to it.
my constant mood: thinking about a freaky ginger with dementia 💜
so fucked up that goncharov is only on poob
Struck by a realization.
Caracalla, a horribly disease ridden forceps baby, seemingly forgets his involvement with his brother’s death a matter of hours, or days, after the fact.
I see people attributing this to neurosyphilis, the psychological effects of lead poisoning, etc. Obviously. But I feel like it could also be some flavor of a trauma response. Whether he is unintentionally repressing memories of violence, or deliberately refusing to accept reality and thus losing the thread, I’m not quite sure.
Yeah, the man is obviously deeply sick. But him and Geta have also been through a history of physical abuse. A cocktail of drinking, desensitization to violence, trauma, brain damage, and psychosis all contributed.
If Caracalla was experiencing some type of severe complex trauma or delusions (or both;) it would be incredibly easy to completely discard anything that doesn’t adhere to the reality his mind had created. Especially when that reality is a place where he is correct, protected, or vindicated. Caracalla’s deep fried and shredded brain tissue would have absolutely no problem tossing out the memory of literally sawing Geta’s head off. Caracalla might have simply dismissed it as an intrusive thought he ignored, a nightmare he had. I dunno, him being conscious of the event but not recognizing it is MISERABLE!! And I am nothing if not a creator of miserable fiction.
I don’t have all of the right words here. But god. I am sick to my stomach thinking about my blorbos.
I am a victim of Illi McMillin propoganda
im always surprised how many people think venetia is the younger sibling. i feel like we get so caught up in those scenes defined as shocking and grotesque by media and pop culture at large that we skim over the quiet, lurking horrors of saltburn. poor, poor venetia, who was born first but will never be first, not to the boys, not to her parents, not to oliver, not to anyone. mommy's emotionally battered and neglected firstborn daughter. felix was born when venetia was still a baby, not even two years old, the perfect golden boy, son and heir, sun and air. and he's getting it all, the title, the estate, everything ("I will look after this house just as felix would have"). do you think they ever talked about it? which catton was getting saltburn? i dont. venetia, the butt of every joke. desperate, embarrassing, lighting her body up like a neon sign on an empty highway. if felix is the sun, venetia is the moon, shrouded in darkness when he's not near. venetia, destroying and remaking herself in her mother's eyes. always hungry, a scavenger of love, picking over felix's scraps, sucking up the detritus at the bottom of a dark, lonely ocean.